


Wreck of Our Hearts

by Schimelos



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F, Friendship, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-02-19 07:10:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 60,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13118679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schimelos/pseuds/Schimelos
Summary: Bea Smith is living in a world without her daughter, spending her days sleeping while saving lives at night. Allie Novak needs to turn her life around. Bea can save her life. Or is it the other way around?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Taking a stab at a Ballie story. Very excited about this. I took a break from writing and while watching the show, an idea for a story came to mind that I want to explore. Please leave comments and let me know your thoughts on this. 
> 
> I'm sticking close to what happened in Season 1 with Bea having assaulted Harry and spending some time at Wentworth. Allie never went to prison and they meet on the outside. 
> 
> Title of the story is named after a song by Sleeping Wolf.

The rain poured down, ricocheting off the windshield in an even rhythm that almost lulled Bea Smith to sleep. The occasional sway and bounce of the rig as it went over a bump had reminded her exactly where she was. Her head turned slightly to look through the entry way at the covered body that laid on the stretcher behind them. 

She turned away, squeezing her eyes shut at the image of the girl. 

It’s supposed to be easier, she thought glumly. Hell, it had been over five years since it happened. 

But, for a moment that night, regardless of how many years had passed, the girl had brought her back to a different time. 

A gentle hand brought her out of her thoughts and she turned to find Maxine turning away from the road for a moment to smile at her. 

“You alright, love?” 

Bea licked her lips, taking a moment before articulating her response. “I,” she began before shaking her head. “Yah. I’m good.”

“You sure?” she asked, glancing back at her. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

She bit her lip, but didn’t respond. Instead, she turned back out the window, watching as the city passed by them. She was lost in her thoughts as they pulled into the parking lot of the city morgue. Maxine decided to take care of the drop off allowing Bea to stay exactly where she was seated. 

The red head closed her eyes, listening as the back door opened. She heard the morgue employee greet Maxine. She could feel her resolve slowly dwindle away as she heard the stretcher being pulled out. Opening her eyes, she watched as Maxine and the morgue employee disappeared through the doorway of the building. Some quick paperwork would need to be signed off acknowledging that Jane Doe had been dead on arrival. And, the EMTs were handing custody over to the morgue to be held until she could be identified. 

If she will ever be identified, Bea thought and with that she felt the hot tears spill over her cheeks. 

She had been a paramedic now for over a year, having prepared for the career move while behind bars at Wentworth. It had begun in the library where she opened her first medical textbook and absorbed all the information from its pages. Many of her cellmates in H Block suggested she consider becoming a physician. 

“Turn your misfortune into a bright future,” Liz had told her late one night when she found Bea hovered several text books in her room. “You retain this all so well. Shame for all that knowledge to go to waste.”

She couldn’t say when exactly she decided emergency services was her calling. By the time she walked out of Wentworth, she had her certification and a job waiting. 

However, no amount of reading could ever prepare a paramedic for responding to a call for an overdose. Especially when you arrive on scene to help resuscitate a teenager. 

Had it been the age that took her back there? She wondered briefly. They were roughly the same age. 

No, there had been more to it than that.

“You think it’s time to call it a night?” Maxine asked when she had returned to the rig. She half turned in the seat to look at Bea, a pained expression on her face. 

Bea hated that look. It was a mixture of many emotions, all of them unwelcomed in her mind. Pity. Concern. Sadness. She gave a sigh that came out a little more like a sob and she brushed her tears away with the back of her hands. 

It was after one in the morning. They had been on call for more than eight hours. “Let’s head back,” she agreed with a curt nod. 

Maxine opened her mouth, seemingly wanting to say something, however thought against it. Instead, she turned away and started the rig and without another word between them, Maxine drove off. 

 

It was a fifteen minute drive back to the station. They sat in silence and Bea felt as if she regained some control over her emotions. 

“You go on, love,” Maxine had insisted as they jumped out of the rig. Bea had been reaching out for the cleaning supplies, preparing to disinfect the interior. “I’ll take care of it. Go. Get some rest.”

Bea looked down at the spray bottle she had picked up. “I got this,” she insisted. 

Maxine moved forward, placing a hand on the bottle. “That is not the point,” she said softly. “Go, get cleaned up. Rest.” 

If she had strength, she would have smile, but the truth had been that Bea was exhausted. This last call had been particularly draining on her psyche. With a nod, she let go of the bottle and walked off, heading straight for the shower. 

 

She had been on auto pilot when she entered the locker room. Grabbing her things, she entered a private shower stall. The hot water felt good against her aching muscles. And as she stood under the spray with no one else around, she let her mind go there. 

It had been five years since her own daughter had passed away. She had been one of the many statistics, having overdosed on heroin during Bea’s incarceration. 

Bea could feel her legs begin to shake as she began to replay the moment in her mind once more. The governor and guard’s faces as they broke the news that her little girl was gone. That same expression Maxine had worn on their ride back. 

Her hands felt for the tiles in front of her, an attempt to stay upward. 

“I’m so sorry Bea,” the governor’s voice rang in her mind. “They did everything they could, however it was just too late.”

It had been surreal and when she awoke the next morning, part of her believed it had been a nightmare. That was until the prison psychiatrist entered wanting to gauge her reaction of the news. The next thing she had known, she was kicking and screaming with a needle jammed into her lower back. After that, all went black. 

A sob escaped her and she leaned against the cold, wet tile before finally losing her strength. She slid down, turning to sit with her back against the tile. She brought her knees up and buried her face in them and with that, the tears mixed with the water as it disappeared down the drain beside her. 

She hadn’t known how long she sat there. Her sobs turned into shivering when the hot water ran cold. The next thing she knew, the curtain was drawn back and she looked up to meet Franky’s face looking down at her. 

 

Franky didn’t wear that expression that most people did when they found out about her daughter. Instead, she gave a sigh and shook her head. “Aw, Red, look at yourself. Come on now, let’s get you dry.”

She treated Bea like a chore sometimes. Having been cell mates at Wentworth, the pair had stayed in touch after being released. Now, they were more like best friends than anything else. 

Bea said nothing as she allowed Franky to take her by the arm to help her up. Frank reached around and grabbed the towel off the hook. 

“How…”

“Maxine messaged me,” she replied as she rubbed her shoulders. “Said you had a rather hectic call.” 

“Yeah,” Bea said with a nod. “Suppose that’s one way of putting it.”

Franky gave a half smile as she led her to the bench. “Now, what’s goin’ on, Red?” Franky asked her in a serious tone as she straddled the bench in order to face her. 

Bea gazed down at her toes. “We lost an OD victim tonight. Just didn’t get there in time,” she began before glancing over. “She was her age.”

 

“Aye, shit,” Franky breathed, letting her head fall down. “Red, why are you doin’ this to yourself, eh?”

“Whatcha mean?” 

“Take a job like this. After everything?” she let out a sigh. “I mean, isn’t it a bit too… close to home?” 

It was a good question. One that Bea had asked herself every day since she started. 

“I mean, couldn’t you have chosen somethin’ less graphic?” 

“I have to do this,” Bea insisted as she pushed her hair back out of her face. “I have to do this for her.”

“Okay, okay!” Franky replied as she placed a gentle hand over hers. “I’m just worried is all.” 

The redhead looked up at her, seemingly gauging the other women’s honesty. When Franky’s eyebrows rose in a silent question, Bea relented and with a sigh, sat up. “I appreciate it, I do. I’m fine. It just… it took me off guard is all”

“You sure?” 

She knew her too well. “Something about her reminded me of Debbie,” she finally confessed. “I don’t know if it’s the age or maybe they looked somewhat similar. And, like Debbie, I couldn’t save her.”

“Alright, stop there,” Franky interrupted. “I see where this is goin’. Look, you are not to blame for this,” she told her. “There was no way you coulda known about Debbie. And this girl was long gone before you got there.” 

Bea bit her lip. “I just feel like I could’ve done more tonight.”

“Oye, enough of that,” Franky nearly shouted almost making Bea jump. “You can’t beat yourself up over this.” 

Sighing, Bea gave a nod. “Right then. Suppose you’re right.”

“Hell yah, I’m right,” Franky said with a grin. “Now, let’s see here. How’s about you and me grab a drink?”

“A drink?” Bea gave her a look. “It’s gotta be way past three by now. Bar’s almost closed.” 

With a grin still on her face, Franky stood up and headed over to her bag. “Now, while that may be true. But, Franky’s own personal bar is open all night,” she announced as she pulled a bottle of liquor. She held it up in the air, letting her other hand wave in front of it as if it were on presentation. 

Bea couldn’t help but laugh. She suddenly remembered why Franky and her remained friends after leaving prison. It had been for moments like this. “Right then,” she said. 

 

 

Allie groaned as she opened her eyes. When the light hit her face, she turned away. “Fuck sake. Turn it off!” she nearly shouted. When she received no response, she opened her eyes again, this time slowly to help adjust. 

The light she realized was sunshine. 

She slowly sat up, looking around to take in her surroundings. She was on the bench in the park and she had no idea how she got there. 

Whatever she had been up to the night before, it took her across town, to the park. It hadn’t been the first time she woke up in an unfamiliar place after having scored some gear. And of course, like all the times before, she couldn’t remember a thing.

This has got to stop, she mentally scolded herself as she brushed her matted hair back from her face. She felt drained and it wouldn’t be long before she’d get a craving. She cracked her neck, before searching her pockets, wondering if she had spent all her cash the night before.

What she found had somewhat surprised her. In her left pocket, she pulled out a small bundle of cash. She was sure she had spent her last dime on that gear the night before. She reckoned that she had a client at some point in the night. 

Maybe more than one, she thought to herself as she began to count the bills. The twenties pulled aside revealed a few fifties and then hundreds. “Fuck,” she breathed as she scanned the park. “What the hell happened last night?” 

She stuffed the money back into her pocket, looking around to ensure she was still the only around. No reason to attract attention to herself, she decided. With a heavy sigh, she stood, which had been rather clumsy at first as her legs felt like lead. She checked her pockets again, realizing that her mobile was gone. Turning around in a circle as she scanned the ground, she groaned. That would mark the fifth mobile in the last three months that she misplaced after a score. 

“Kaz is goin’ to kill me,” she muttered to herself as she began her long trek back to the shelter across town.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the kudos and comments. I am not sure in what direction I am taking this in, so be patient. I hope I can get these two to officially meet within the next 2 chapters. Enjoy!

Chapter 2

 

“Here ya are, Miss,” the cab driver announced. 

Allie opened her eyes, feeling slightly better than she had when she woke up. Her face was pressed against the window, her eyes catching the sign that read ‘Melbourne Women’s Shelter’. She reached into her pocket, grabbing the bills to pay the driver. 

“Oi, Blondie!” a familiar voice echoed in the large room as soon as she entered through the double doors. 

Allie peered over, her face half hidden by her hoodie. She gave a half smile as she recognized the woman calling out to her. The dark-haired woman jumped in front of her with a huge grin that bared all her teeth. 

“Where you been hidin’ yourself,” she asked her. 

Nothing seemed to get the girl down, Allie reckoned. 

“Hey Boomer,” she greeted back as she pulled back her hood. 

“Fancy yourself a cuppa?” she asked, excitedly. 

They had met a few months back. Boomer having just recently been released from prison, she had begun hanging around the shelter. Kaz eventually arranged for her to volunteer. Although, it was still unclear as to what her actual volunteer work entailed. She traded stories with younger girls and kept the older women company. Allie supposed, if anything, she kept the women’s spirits up. 

They hadn’t gotten off on the right foot in the beginning. Boomer had a very exuberant personality. Allie, on the other hand, tended to be very crude and downright blunt personality, especially when she was on the gear. Which was more than ninety percent of the time. 

Allie shifted her weight to one foot to the other while she dug her hands into her pockets. “Maybe later, Booms,” she promised. “I fancy a shower.”

“Eh, where you been?” she asked as if suddenly noticing the dark circles under the blonde’s eyes and pale complexion. “You look awful.”

“Fuck off,” she muttered, but flashed a grin to let the other girl know it was jest. “Had a long one last night,” she explained before disappearing up the stairs to the showers. 

She felt slightly better as the hot water sprayed against her body. She tilted her head back, opening her mouth slightly to catch a few droplets. 

“Hey, Allie,” Boomer’s voice sounded on the other side of the thin curtain. 

“I’m showering. Fuck off,” Allie replied halfheartedly. 

“Well, yah I know that,” Boomer said with a laugh. 

Allie felt a small smile form. Boomer always had an innocent side to her. “Yah?” 

“Just, you seem not yourself this mornin’ is all,” Boomer explained and Allie could hear the worry in her voice. “What happened?” 

She sighed. Boomer knew about her profession, but she had never told her about the drugs. She supposed that Boomer had her suspicions. There had been more than one occasion that she came back to the shelter off her face. However, Boomer was always a few steps behind, so she couldn’t be sure. 

She turned off the water and reached out to grab the towel on the other side of the curtain. “Honestly, I couldn’t tell ya,” she answered, deciding that the truth was the best option. She was still too out of it to come up with a good story on the spot. 

Boomer’s face fell slightly. “What’d you mean?”   
She bit her lip, not anticipating the look of worry that would land on the other’s women’s face. She walked over to the sink, pulling her bag out to retrieve her toothbrush. “Exactly as I said,” she replied, concentrating on the task so she wouldn’t have to look her in the eyes. 

“You mean, you were off your face, eh?” 

Allie put her toothbrush down and sighed. So, she did know. 

“It is, ain’t it?” she continued. “You ain’t answering, so it must be.”

Allie looked up, meeting Boomer’s gaze in the mirror. She had been saving this conversation for Kaz later. She knew a proper scolding was coming her way. She hadn’t been expecting that it would come from Boomer. 

“It’s nothing,” she told her, hoping she sounded convincing. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“But it ain’t the first time, eh?” Boomer pointed out, looking even more uncertain. 

“No, but I promise you, I can stop at any time.” She told her as she put her toothbrush back in the bag and giving her a bright smile. Deciding the best course of action would be to escape this conversation, she gathered her things. As she passed Boomer, she placed a gentle hand on her arm. “I promise you, I’m all good.” 

The dark-haired woman didn’t look convinced, giving a worried in response. “If you say so.”

With a squeeze, Allie continued her way. “If you see Kaz, let her know I’m in my room, yeah?” 

She didn’t wait for a reply. Instead, she left the bathroom and headed down to the hallway to her room. She lived at the shelter for nearly five years. Maybe less if she counted all the times she had disappeared. Sometimes for days. Sometimes for weeks.

With a heavy sigh, she began to dress, slipping into a t-shirt and jeans before laying on the bed. She brought her arms up so she could rest her head on them as her eyes began to trace patterns on the ceiling. 

“Why do you keep doin’ this to yourself?” she asked aloud, feeling the shame begin to take over. Just like it always had after coming off a high. 

She had told Boomer she could stop at any time. She closed her eyes, feeling the shame begin to burn, beginning to be consumed by the familiar cravings that always found its way back to her.   
She could stop at any time. 

She wanted to. 

Her eyes glanced over at the bundle of bills she had left on her desk. It would be enough to buy a substantial amount of ice. The very thought sent chills down her spine. It was scary and exciting. 

But, she could stop at any time. 

She hoped she could anyway. 

 

 

1 Year Ago

 

Bea Smith walked out of the doors, lifting her arm up to shield her eyes from the bright sun. Her other arm clutched at the strap of her bag that held her belongings. She was outside all the time, but it felt so different being outside on this side of the fence. 

Prisoners lined the fence, their faces pressed against the chain links of the fence. No matter Bea’s reputation at Wentworth, or her history with each prisoner, the sentiment was still there. They were bidding her farewell and good luck. 

Her eyes scanned the faces until she found Liz. Her legs began to feel heavy as she made her way to her. Liz wiped the tears that began to form in her eyes. 

“I can’t believe I’m out,” she whispered, touching Liz’s fingers through the fence links. 

“Take care of yourself, love,” Liz told her with a smile. “I don’t want to see you back here. Ever.”

Bea nodded several times and her head bowed so she could keep her eyes to her feet. “I’ll come visit. And, I’ll write. Promise.” 

Liz gave a curt nod. With no more words exchanged, Bea let her hand go and turned around, leaving Wentworth behind for good. The sounds of farewell echoed in the air around her. 

Will Jackson escorted her all the way to the parking lot, stopping abruptly when they reached the end of the fences. “This is where I leave you, Smith.”

Bea turned around, seemingly at a loss for words. It was like her first day all over again. She didn’t know where to look or what to say. She dug her hands into the pockets of her jeans and nodded. 

“Take care of yourself,” Jackson told her as he began to turn around. 

“Mr. Jackson,” Bea called out to him. He turned back. “Thank you. For… for everything.”

He nodded once more. “Be sure you don’t come back here. You understand?” He didn’t wait for a response and began walking more briskly back to the building. 

“Will do,” Bea whispered to herself as she watched him back. 

With a sigh, she made her way to the parking lot. She wasn’t sure where she was going. She didn’t exactly have enough cash for a taxi. She was given the address of a group home that was clear across town for which she was told to report to by nightfall. 

A curfew, Bea realized. Her freedom came with a price and a whole list of do’s and don’ts while on probation. It suddenly felt overwhelming and she began to question if she was up for this. Before she could debate the idea further, a voice shouted at her. A familiar one. 

“Oi, Red!” 

Bea looked over and spotted Franky near her car, hand high in the air. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked as she walked over. 

“Fuck Red, is that anyway to treat your best mate?” Franky asked, coyly as she raked her tongue over her teeth. She crossed her arms over her chest, giving the red head a once over. “Looks like you made it out in once piece though.” 

Bea snorted. “Best mate? That’s a bit of a stretch, don’t ya think?”

They shared a quick laugh before Franky pushed her sunglasses up to rest them on her head. “Look, I came by to see if you needed a lift.” Bea opened her mouth and Franky seemed to anticipate the question that was forming in her mind. “Liz phoned me. Said you were set up with a group home? I can’t imagine they let you go with much cash?” 

Bea glanced away for a moment before nodding. She wanted to be mad that Liz would call Franky, of all people. Of course, Franky knew what it was like stepping out into the world after losing so much time. She had done it herself just a year prior. And, Liz had also gone through it not long before. Albeit, only briefly as she had broken her parole. 

The thought of Liz had brought the anxiety back to her. How was she going to fare out in the real world? After all she’d seen. All she done while back in Wentworth. 

“Righto,” Franky said, letting her smile fade slightly. “Come on then, let’s go grab some breakfast.” She slipped her arm over Bea’s shoulder, guiding her up towards her car. “Let’s catch up, yeah?”

Bea felt strangely at ease around the tattooed woman. Never mind that they had nearly tried to kill each other while behind bars. More than once. Suppose it wouldn’t be a bad idea to eat before heading to the group home. 

At least that’s what she kept trying to reassure herself of as she heard the car door close and watch as Franky threw her bag in the backseat. 

 

Present day…

 

Bea’s eyes slowly opened and she groaned. She glanced to her clock, seeing the numbers flash two o’clock. Her blinds were closed, blocking out the midday sun. Her head ached, a symptom from her previous night activities. 

“Fuck sake, Franky,” she mumbled, cursing herself for letting the tattoo woman convince her of drinking through the night. 

She had to admit, drinking had helped get her mind off the last call the night before. She rolled over onto her back and brought her hand to her eyes, trying to purge the image of the dead girl out of her mind. The needle that hung on her arm had still been lodged in her vein. It had to have been instantaneous. The only comfort being that she hadn’t suffered. 

They had waited for the police to do a preliminary investigation, but it had been an obvious overdose from the moment Bea and Maxine had stepped into the bedroom. The mother of the girl stood in the corner barely able to contain herself before one of the officers had led her out for questioning.   
Bea had stood near the entrance, watching as the officer and Maxine spoke. She studied the girl’s face and her eyes that were wide open and vacant. She imagined that Harry had walked into a similar scene so many years ago. 

Suddenly she realized what had bothered her so much about that last call. Hot tears began to trail down her cheeks. That had been exactly what Harry walked in on and for the last five years, she had been spared of that visual. 

Her shift didn’t start until eight and she figured a few more hours of sleep would do her good. Grabbing her comforter, she rolled to her left side and brought it up to cover her face. She hoped it would be enough to muffle her sobs.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for all the comments! I'm still putting together which direction I am taking this story.

Chapter 3

 

Bea was hovered over the patient, who had a value mask covering his face. She squeezed the bag hard, making sure to concentrate on keeping steady beats. Her other hand was pressing the mask over his face, while tilting his chin up as best as she could. They were running fast through the double doors of the hospital. 

She was half listening to Maxine, who stood to her left, behind the stretcher, pushing it through aisle of beds. 

“Gregory Felts. GSW to the chest,” she could hear Maxine explain to a doctor who had greeted them as soon as they had jumped out of the rig. She began to recap vitals they had taken in the field. 

A sea of hospital personnel seemed to swarm them. Nurses helped guide the stretcher into a nearby private room designated for the more severe traumas that came in. 

A few other doctors seemed to appear out of nowhere, one taking the clipboard from Maxine to glance over her notes before signing off on the hand over. Bea stood still, continuing to squeeze the bag every 5 to 6 seconds. They began to work around her. 

They had set the stretcher close to the gurney that had already occupied the room. A team of nurses moved above, pulling the man to his side to slide a board under him. Within ten to fifteen seconds, the man was moved from the stretcher to the gurney. 

When the doctor gave a nod to Bea, she removed the AMBU bag and stepped back. The doctor immediately took over and intubated the man. Maxine was already pushing the stretcher out the way they had come in. They were no longer needed. 

 

“I hope he’ll be okay,” Maxine commented as they slowly strolled out of the emergency room.  
“I’ll come back later today to see how he fared,” Bea replied, nonchalantly. It was something she did, followed up on the people she rescued and brought in. 

In the beginning, the nurses tried to ward her off. It had not been something they wanted to indulge in. Nothing like a pesky paramedic returning every other day to ask questions about patients.

Eventually, she found a nurse that had taken pity on her. One that recognized her from before Wentworth. When she had been a patient herself. Half beaten by her husband. 

Maxine didn’t comment, but rather offered a small smile. She knew a little of her partner’s past. Many hours spent in the rig, waiting on a call led to many conversations. Bea never explained fully of what had happened to her, but Maxine had gathered enough to make her own assumptions. 

They moved out the way they came in. Bea took stock of the room, noticing that it was not terribly busy that night. A male doctor approached them causing them to stop in their tracks. Bea recognized him, but couldn’t recall a name. She was sure they had met before. 

“Hello ladies,” a male doctor greeted when they came to a stop. 

“Why, hello, Doctor Milton,” Maxine said with a bright smile, turning to Bea expectantly. 

At least she knew his name now. She gave a slight smile and nod, acknowledging his existence. Her gaze going beyond his shoulder to the exit before checking her watch. They should be back out on the road. 

“How have you been Ms. Smith?” he asked, his full attention on the red head. 

Bea’s head snapped back, remembering he was still standing in front of her. “Um, good,” she replied before looking back to Maxine. “We should get going, yeah?” 

Maxine looked slightly amused. “Yes, we probably should,” she agreed before turning back to the doctor. “It was good to see you again. Have a good evening.” 

The redhead said nothing as he returned his farewells, already heading out the door with their bag of supplies over her shoulder. Maxine trailed behind, pushing the stretcher back out. 

“Did you want to drive or attend?” Bea asked as they pushed the stretcher into the rig. 

Maxine looked down at her watch for a moment. “Better idea,” she began. “Let’s sanitize the back and then grab a bite to eat. It’s getting rather late and all the good places will be closing soon.” 

Bea looked at her unsure. “Do we have time?”

“We need a break, Bea,” Maxine reminded her. “It’s okay to have a break.” 

Bea reluctantly agreed. 

Later, the pair sat together, Bea at the wheel and Maxine in the passenger seat. They agreed on hamburgers and fries. Bea had been sipping at her coke when Maxine finally spoke. 

“You know, Bea, you don’t need to follow up on every person we bring in,” she reminded her. 

“I know,” Bea replied, simply. 

Maxine didn’t comment, but Bea could almost see the question forming in her mind. With a sigh, she set her drink bag in the cradle. 

“I know it’s beyond our job description,” she relented. “I just… I can’t help myself.”

Maxine’s smile offered some comfort and she had reached over to take Bea’s hand into her own. “You know, if you ever need to talk, I’m here. I know, we haven’t known each other long.”

Bea was appreciative of the sentiment. She always felt comfortable around Maxine and they spoke often of each other’s lives and past. 

“You know my ex-husband,” Bea began, before looking away. “He hadn’t been very kind to me.” That was one way of putting it, she mused to herself. 

“I gathered as much,” Maxine replied. 

“I spent some time in the hospital,” she told her, not looking up. She didn’t want to see that look most people wear after she revealed parts of her past. The look of horror or pity. The disbelief that anyone could go through something horrible or sad. “Anyway, it would have been nice to have had visitors.” 

Maxine nodded, dropping the conversation. 

 

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Kaz shouted when she had found Allie that evening in the common room. 

Allie cringed from behind her book. She had been lounging on the couch that entire day, enjoying the quiet while catching up on her reading. Well, had been trying to read. In truth, she had been forcing herself to stay put. She didn’t want another slip up and she felt if she kept herself occupied and around company, she’d stay out of trouble. 

She peered over the book, finding a very angry Kaz standing at the other end of the couch. Her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes directly on her. Allie had to admit, Kaz had the mom pose down. She set the book down face down on her chest. “Hiya, KAz. Nice to see you, too.” 

Kaz’s eyebrows rose, expectantly. “Well, where the fuck did you land yourself this time, eh?” 

Allie looked away. She hated encounters with Kaz when she was upset. Especially when she was upset with Allie. She scooted up on the couch, sitting with her legs crossed. “I don’t know…”

Kaz tilted her head slightly. Another mom pose, Allie thought, that told her that she was not convinced by the answer. “Don’t give me that shit!” she yelled, walking over to the couch to hover the younger blonde. 

Allie’s eyes glanced over to several women, who had now turned to look at them. Kaz immediately noticed and turned to them, as well. “And, what the fuck are you looking at?” 

Allie watched as the women turned away, pretending to go back to their previous activities. “C’mon, Kaz. Let’s go outside or something.” 

“No, fuck. You need to tell me where you were?” Kaz urged as she took a seat next to the blonde. “Boomer told me you came back off your face.”

Allie grimaced. “That’s not exactly true,” she began, but immediately dropped the excuse when she noticed Kaz’s eyes darken. “I was on something,” she relented. “I can’t remember anything.”

Kaz studied her for a moment before letting the anger wash away. “Oh, Bubba, what are you doing to yourself?”

Allie let a short laugh out. “I’m fine. I swear it.” 

The older woman looked far from convinced. The pair had known each other for years. Kaz had pulled her out of her addiction several times and knew all the signs. Allie owed the woman her life. And, she couldn’t help but feel as if she kept letting her down. Finally, Allie felt shame begin to wash over her. She looked down at the book she had been reading. Her fingers tracing the cover. 

“Kaz, I woke up in the park across town,” she explained in a low voice. “I woke up with a bundle of cash. A lot of cash. And, I don’t remember a fucking thing.” 

Kaz’s anger disappeared altogether and Allie watched as another look took over. She looked betrayed. Once again, Allie had her down. “I thought you were done with that shit.”

“I was,” Allie immediately cried out. “I am! I had a slip up. One slip up. I swear, I’m done.”

There was a moment of silence before Allie was pulled into a fierce hug. “I’m just glad you are alright.” 

Allie felt even more ashamed. She hated that she kept putting the woman, who had been practically like a mother, through this. Why she just didn’t let Allie drown in her own shit, she would never know. That was just who Kaz was. She hated to give up on anyone. Even a lost case like herself. 

She had been off the gear for two months. Two whole months. And in one night, she slipped up. Again. She had no idea what had happened to her the night before last. She wasn’t sure she had wanted to know. 

She returned Kaz’s hug, sad for her slip up and angry with herself. She couldn’t bring herself to tell the older woman that she had used some of that cash already. Earlier in the day, she brought more gear. 

 

It had been an uneventful shift that night. After they had their burgers, they answered a few calls. One had been to a car accident that had very minor injuries. The driver had been treated in the back of the rig but had refused a ride to the hospital for examination. She had been given an ice pack and sent on her way. The other was an older man with chest pains that needed to be transported to the hospital. 

Bea had been driving when Maxine brought up another topic that night that she absolutely dreaded. 

“Bea, I have a question for you,” she began and waited for the redhead’s reluctant nod. “Have you dated since Harry?”

She had to admit, Maxine was on a roll with uncomfortable questions that night. She shook her head. 

“Have you ever considered it?” 

“Why?” She hadn’t meant to sound so defensive, but Maxine was going into territory that Bea had no experience in and no desire to discover. 

“Just a friendly chat, love,” she said with a smile, shaking her head slightly. “I’ve been considering dating as of late. My last relationship ended on… not so good terms. Nothing compared to yours, of course.” 

Bea realized that this was what most women considered girl talk. Something she had overheard Debbie do on the phone quite often just before she was imprisoned. She remembered the way her daughter would giggle and speak to her friend. She never gave it much thought back then. She wondered then what were the sorts of things they spoke about? Bea could remember being that age. Surely, dating was a common topic.

“You’re a wonderful person,” Bea decided to say after a long moment. “Any man would be lucky to have you.” 

“Same to you, love,” Maxine replied with a warm smile. 

She very much doubted that. 

“Dispatch to unit 445,” a female voice echoed over the radio, catching both of their attentions. 

Bea gave Maxine a look, knowing full well that their shift was about to be extended. She grabbed the radio over its cradle and pressed the button down to speak. “This is 445 to dispatch. Over.” 

The voice continued over the static background. “We got a call in for a possible overdose. Female in her late twenties. Substance unknown. Over.” 

“Copy that. Location details? Over?” 

“Location is the women’s shelter. Over.” 

Bea peered over at Maxine, instantly regretting answering the radio. “Fuck sake,” she breathed before pressing the button. “Copy that. We’re on our way. Over.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a little research on paramedic stuff. Apparently to offset the effects of heroin overdoses, they inject some medicine, forget the name of it, up their nose to help.

It was a quick drive to the shelter. Bea having maneuvered through traffic with ease as the sirens sounded above them, 

“Are you sure you are alright?” Maxine asked her. 

“Yeah,” she replied, not letting her eyes leave the road. “Let’s get to the shelter before we lose another.” 

“I’ll take point,” Maxine offered then continued when Bea began to protest it. “Bea, come on. The last one we responded to left you in tears. Just let me take point.” 

Bea bit her lower lip as she parked the rig in front of the shelter. She gave no response as they both jumped out and ran towards the back. Bea pulled the stretcher out as Maxine grabbed the bag of supplies. 

“Let’s just help this girl,” Bea told her as they walked through the doors. 

They paused near the entryway, unsure of which way to go. There was a long hallway to their left and another doorway just to their right. In front of them, a stairway where several women were standing, all seemed to be speaking at once. 

Bea had never been to the shelter before, although she had considered it in the past. During her marriage with Harry, there had been moments, many moments, where she considered packing her bag and leaving. She imagined disappearing during the middle of the night with Debbie in tow and knocking on the very doors she had just come through. 

“Someone called for Emergency Services?” Bea asked the women. 

One of the women, turned to them. “Oh, thank god, you’re here!” 

Another woman stepped up. “Hurry, please. She’s upstairs!” 

They followed her up the stairs, guiding the stretcher up. When they reached the top, Bea pushed the stretcher forward down the long hallway. A group of women were hovering over one of the doorways. Maxine glanced back at Bea. 

“Alright, ladies, we need everyone out of the way,” Maxine instructed and it seemed like all at once they seemed to scatter, creating an opening. 

Maxine was the first to enter the room then Bea, whose heart had wrenched at the sight. A young blonde woman was sprawled out on the center of the floor. Bea’s eyes caught sight of a needle on the floor near her. Another blonde was hovering over her, preforming CPR. They took a place on either side of the unconscious woman. Bea kneeled beside the busy woman, who hadn’t seemed to notice them, her concentration focused on compressions. 

“Miss? She called out to her but received no response in return. Time was an important factor and they didn’t have much of it if they wanted to bring this girl back. “Hey,” she tried again, this time putting a gloved hand on her shoulder. 

The woman seemed to come back to herself, but only glanced up at them for a moment. “Are you Emergency Services?” she asked before shaking her head. “Oh, such a stupid question. You guys are wearing the jackets and have all that fancy gear with you. Please, can you help her?” 

“We will do our best,” Maxine informed her, handing Bea a stethoscope. “Let’s see where we’re at.” 

The blonde still hadn’t fully looked at them. It hadn’t been until Bea gave a soft pull on her shoulder that she finally came to a stop. “Let’s have a look, shall we?” she asked and watched as the woman slowly looked up at her. 

Two dark blue eyes stared at her from behind strands of blonde hair. She scooted back a little to give Bea room to work. Bea began to look for a heartbeat, feeling the blonde’s eyes on her the entire time. She looked up at Maxine, giving a curt nod. 

“Alright. Miss, keep back. We are going to give her a little shock,” Maxine stated, as she handed two paddles to Bea. 

The girl seemed shell shocked but gave several nods. She scooted backwards once more, watching as Bea held the two paddles at different points on the patient’s chest. 

“Clear,” she announced and in the instant Maxine pressed the button, a shock went through, causing the patient’s entire body to jump. Bea handed the paddles back, then checked again for a pulse. She noticed that the girl sitting beside her kept staring at her. 

“We got a heartbeat,” Bea announced, mostly to Maxine, but glanced quickly at the woman sitting beside her. Those intense blue eyes caught her own, making her self-conscious. She was used to bystanders watching her as she worked on patients, but this felt different. 

“How long ago did this happen?” Maxine asked as she looked through the bag. 

The woman looked unsure, biting her bottom lip before answering. “I’m not sure. I came in to borrow a book and she… I found her like this.” 

Maxine gave a nod as she began to fill a syringe with medicine from a vial she had procured from the bag. Bea had busied herself by taking the patient’s blood pressure, feeling the young woman continue to stare. Maxine looked between them, seemingly noticing the strange interaction. 

“What the fuck happened?!” another woman yelled, startlingly all three of them. “Is it Allie?! It’s Allie, isn’t it?” There were other voices then they could hear footsteps. All three turned when an older woman appeared in the doorway. She was blonde with her hair wrapped up tight on the top of her head. Her eyes darting around to take in the scene. 

Bea noticed the woman beside her had stiffened, her eyes widened. She looked like a child, who had been caught by her mom doing something she shouldn’t have been. 

“Kaz…” she whispered as she stood. 

“Bubba!” the other woman cried out and Bea could see the tears begin to form. She entered the tiny room and carefully made her way to the other blonde. “I heard about what had happened. I thought it was you!” 

Bea watched as the two women embraced. Then turned back to the person they had come for. By this time, Maxine had placed the syringe into the patient’s nose. 

“What is her name?” Bea asked the two women, unable to mask her impatience. She was happy for the two women, but her priority was the patient in front of her. 

Kaz glanced over at Allie for an answer. 

“She’s new,” Allie explained. “Um, her name is Nikki. Sorry, she never told me a last name.”

Before Bea to reply, a loud gasp echoed the room. They all looked down. Maxine had administered the drug that brought the poor girl back to herself. Her brown eyes widen for a moment as she drew in long deep breathes.

“Nikki?” Bea began, allowing Maxine to tend to the dirty syringe and vile. “It’s Emergency Services,” she explained to her as Maxine brought out a pen light to flash in her eyes. “Do you know where you are?” 

She glanced between the two and before she could answer, her eyes closed and she fell unconscious. Maxine nodded before grabbing the board. They moved quickly, tilting Nikkie to her side so they could slide the board under her. They hauled her up so they could guide her out of the small room and onto the stretcher. 

As Maxine buckled the woman in and covered her with blankets, Bea turned back to the two blonde women. There was a noticeable age difference between the two and Bea wondered if they were mother and daughter or sisters. 

“Do you know of any family?” she asked them. 

Again, Kaz looked to Allie as she brought an arm around her. Allie looked up, meeting the redhead’s eyes with emotions that Bea was all too familiar with. 

“No,” Allie replied, looking down at her slippers. “She had no one. Just us girls here at the shelter.” 

“Most women end up here have nowhere else to go,” Kaz explained in a low voice. “Many don’t speak of their families while here. For all sorts of reasons, really.” 

Bea nodded in understanding before packing up their equipment. As Maxine took a place at the end of the stretcher and Bea at the other, Allie moved forward. She had latched onto Bea’s arm. The red head turned slightly and found those two blue eyes scanning her face. 

“She’ll be okay, yeah?” Allie asked, her eyes searching hers. “Please tell me, she’ll be alright?”

Bea took a hold of the other woman’s hand, giving it a light squeeze before letting go. “We are going to do all we can. I promise you.” 

Rehearsed words to be sure. Something all people in the medical field were trained to say. 

Allie’s eyes never left the redhead’s and Bea could feel them bore into the back of her head as she helped maneuver the stretcher down the stairs. The patient’s heart rate was stable and the medicine would work quickly to counter the effects of whatever drug she took. They moved out the way she had come, quickly packing up the patient into the back of the rig. 

The entire time, she could feel those same blue eyes on here. The two blonde women had followed them. She did all she could not to look back. Her focus was needed on the patient and getting her to the hospital as quick as they could. Bea jumped into the driver’s seat, switched the siren on and focused only on reaching the hospital.

Allie and Kaz stood near the entrance watching the ambulance drive away. Allie knew it was coming, but it still startled her when the older blonde turned to her and snapped at her. 

“What the hell happened?” she asked when Allie’s eyes focused on her. 

Allie’s mouth opened, but having been at a loss for words, no words came out. Everything had happened so fast. She had entered Nikki’s room, found her sprawled out on the floor with a needle in her arm. She immediately yelled for someone to call 911. 

She was impressed with herself for remembering how to preform CPR. As soon as she realized there had been no pulse, her body went into autopilot. The next thing she knew, two women in paramedic jackets appeared before her. 

Although, she could only remember the one. The redhead. The voice. The woman, whatever her name was, seemed to appear out of thin air. She blinked twice, realizing that she still hadn’t answered Kaz. 

“I lied to them,” Allie stated, running her hands through her hair. 

“What?” 

“I told them that I found her when I had come in to ask for a book,” she explained, walking away for a moment, to try and settle the anxiety that began to creep up. 

“Allie? What happened?” Kaz asked again, pulling at her shoulder to force Allie to face her. 

“I brought some gear,” Allie blurted out, feeling her eyes sting. 

Kaz looked taken back. “You what?”

“Earlier today,” she continued. “I couldn’t help it. I haven’t used any of it. Kaz, I swear it.”

Kaz nodded, her lips tightly pursed together. “We talked just a few hours ago. You had it then?” 

Allie felt the tears begin to spill over her cheeks. “Y-yes.” 

Anger washed over the other woman and she made a sound of disapproval before turning away. “Fuck, Allie!” 

“Kaz, please!” 

“Is that what happened to her?” she nearly yelled. “Was that your gear she took?”

“No, no, no,” she replied, shaking her head then took a deep breath. “I had gone to her room to see if she had a needle...” she trailed off, because the implication was enough. 

Realization came to Kaz at once. Allie hadn’t gone to Nikki to hand the gear to her. She had planned to take it herself. The shock turned into silent rage. There was a long silence that followed. 

“Kaz,” Allie called out again. “Please, say something.” 

“And, the gear?” 

Allie bit her lip. “In my room.” 

Kaz’s eye darkened and she looked away for a moment to compose herself. “Get it,” she told her. “Flush it.” 

Allie nodded several times. “O-okay.” 

“I mean it,” she spoke again, taking several steps forward. “Flush it. All of it. Then you get your arse to the hospital and find Nikki. And you remember, that the next time you decide to take a drug, it could be you on that floor with a paramedic over you. It’ll be your life they try to bring back.” 

The words were spoken harshly to her. Allie nodded again as she began to wipe the tears from her eyes. “Kaz, I’m… I’m so,” she stopped when Kaz brought a hand up.

“Flush it,” she told her again and with that, she walked passed her to reenter the building. 

Allie stood and crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes scanned the dark sky for a moment, trying to gather enough courage to do what she was told to do. To march up those steps and back into her room. To grab it... all of it, and flush it. The familiar sting of self-loathing began to form within her. She began to use her sleeve to wipe her eyes. 

She let Kaz down. Again. And, it made her stomach churn. And, it hadn’t been until that exact moment that she realized where she was heading. If she continued this way, she could see the end. 

The back of an ambulance. 

A hospital bed. 

A casket. 

It wasn’t where Kaz wanted to see her end up. And, for the first time since she had first started using, it wasn’t where she wanted to end up either.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this turned out okay for everyone. It was a very busy week for me and alas my computer once again crashed. I had to order a new one. Thank God for Amazon Prime! 
> 
> I also appreciate everyone's kind comments. I love writing Fanfiction as a pastime and I'm glad it is great entertainment for others, as well.

Chapter 5

 

One year ago…

 

They had decided on Coney Island for breakfast. Franky led the way to a corner booth in the back. Bea set her bag on the seat before sliding in while Franky took the spot across from her. They chatted about simple topics. Bea had been surprised to learn of some changes in the area. 

“They closed it?” she asked astonished when Franky broke the news. 

“Yeah, just last month,” she replied with a nod. 

Bea groaned. “That was my favorite restaurant, too,” she commented after the waitress brought their drinks. “Their chili was Debbie’s favorite,” she continued, unwrapping her straw and sticking it in her beverage. Fountain drinks were a commodity that she never thought she would miss. But as she took a sip, feeling the tingling sensation in the back of her throat, she felt like she could cry. It was the simple things she thought of while she was imprisoned. “I missed this.” 

Franky smiled lightly, knowing exactly what she had meant. “You’ll get used to it real quick, I promise. It’s like riding a bike.”

Bea smiled, thinking over of some other differences that she realized that she would have to get become accustomed to. She was already on edge in the booth, expecting a guard to announce that it was time for count. Instead, her ears were assaulted by the sound of conversations and glasses clinking. Franky tilted her head, seeming to read Bea’s mind entirely or perhaps notice how she continuously scan the restaurant. 

“It was worse at night,” she gone on. “For me at least. I kept waking, forgetting where I was. It always scared me for a minute until I remembered I was out. Odd, right? I was almost homesick for a place that was not my home.” 

“It sure felt that way at times,” Bea agreed with a wistful smile. “I already miss everyone.” 

Franky grinned. “And, you missed me, right?” 

Bea shook her head. “Fuck off,” she replied. 

“C’mon, you know you did. I bet you missed the shit out of me when I left,” she insisted, leaning forward slightly. “I’m one of a kind.” 

“You never quit, do you?” 

Franky raised her eyebrows suggestively, before turning the conversation into a more serious direction. “So, what are your plans from here on?” 

Bea clasped both her hands around her cup. “Well, I got to get over to the group home,” she began before reaching into her jacket pocket for the address. “One of the counselors set this up. Then, I guess I got to find a job.” 

“Heading back to the salon, then?” Franky asked. 

She shook her head. “No,” she replied. That was a part of her old life, the old Bea. “It sounds stupid, but I just can’t go back to anything that resembled my life before Wentworth. “

“Nah, that doesn’t sound stupid at all,” Franky replied with a slight shake of her head. “Didn’t you study nursing aid or emergency services?” 

Bea nodded. “Healthcare in general, I suppose.” 

“A nursing aid would be a good step,” Franky ventured before pausing when the waitress returned with their food. 

Bea looked down at her plate, enjoying the smell of pancakes. Food at Wentworth wasn’t terrible, per say. But, it didn’t taste anything like the food she would pick up for at a takeaway place or make at home. Simple things like spaghetti from the box. Pizza. And, with that she began to create a list of foods she was going to try. 

She took a large bite of her pancakes and closed her eyes, relishing in the taste. “I’ve missed this!” 

Franky had already dug into her own pancakes, taking another bite before giving her a sly grin. “Yeah, you’ll be sayin’ that for a while,” she laughed. “Next up, McDonalds. Food tastes like shit, but I reckon you still miss it.” 

Bea laughed. “I do,” she agreed, referring to her mental list. “Maybe another day. I gotta get to the group home after this.” 

“Oi, let me have a look at that,” Franky began, her head motioning towards the piece of paper Bea had left on the table. Bea pushed it across to her. A troubled look passing over her face as she read the name and address. “They put you here? Nah, that place is garbage.” 

“Excuse me?” Bea said, taken back by Franky’s reaction. 

Franky folded the paper up before handing it back. “Look, I’m an assistant at a legal firm not far from here. All it takes is a change of residence.” 

“To where?” Bea asked, confused. “What are you on about? 

“I’ve got a spare room,” Franky explained. “I’ve been looking for a housemate for a while now.” 

Bea shook her head. “I couldn’t take it. We’d kill each other.” 

“Oh Red, we got along just fine in prison,” she pointed out with a grin. 

While they had gotten on well when they had a common enemy, there had been a point when the two of them were at each other’s throats. Bea couldn’t imagine sharing personal space out in the world with Franky Doyle. But at the same time, the opportunity to be around someone familiar was… tempting. Franky had been there the day that Bea had found out about Debbie. She had seen her at her worse. 

“It’s an extra room in my flat,” Franky continued as she chewed on her bacon. “It’s not much, but it’s better than a group home. Especially that one.” 

“I’ve already made the arrangements with my probation officer,” Bea pointed out. 

“I already told you. Simple form,” she explained between bites. 

She considered it for a moment. She had only planned to be at the group home for a few months while she waited on her lawyer to sort out her finances. There had been the life insurance on Debbie that she had never collected. Then, the house that Harry had sold. “It would only for a short while,” she assured her. 

Franky looked pleased. She took another bite of her pancakes before a sly grin form on her lips. “Hey Red,” she began, waiting until Red looked up. “You’re coming home with me.” 

The statement was filled with innuendo, causing Bea to scoff. “Fuck off, Doyle.” 

 

 

 

Present Day 

 

Bea’s hand shot out from under the mountain of blankets. With a thud, it landed on the alarm clock that was causing the persistent beeping. 

Pushing the blankets away, she rolled over onto her back and stretched her limbs. It had been long night, ending with that rescue at the women’s shelter. She got back home at nearly two in the morning. Maxine and Bea taking their time with sanitizing the rig and completing the paperwork. Glancing at the clock, she noted that she had gotten over ten hours of sleep. Despite that, she still felt drained. 

I have the night off at least, she thought to herself. Then, she had been face to face with another kind of dilemma. What was she going to fill her night with? 

Normally, she would pick up an extra shift. Maxine had talked to her out of it, reminding her that a night away from the job would be good for her. At that moment, she felt as if she given in too easily. 

Maybe it’s not too late, she thought, considering calling work to see if they needed any help. At that point, she didn’t care if it meant cleaning. As long as she kept busy doing something. Otherwise, she was looking at another night in sweats, binge watching TV, and going to bed much too early. 

“Oi, Red!” Franky’s voice shouted from the other side of the door followed by loud knocking. 

Bea groaned. “What?” 

“Rise and shine!” she answered before pushing her way into the room. 

“Hey!” she yelled back, pulling her blanket up. “I never said you could come in.” 

“You never said I couldn’t either, eh?” she replied, before jumping onto the foot of the bed. 

“You never gave me the chance!” Bea snapped back, sitting up angrily. 

Franky smiled, all too familiar with the redhead’s temper. “Maxine told me about last night.” 

“Oh, she did, did she?” Bea asked, not at all amused. “Do you guys do nothing but talk about me?

Franky tilted her head, considering the question for a long moment. “C’mon Red, I’d reckon you’d feel humbled that you are the center of our attention. Most women would be completely honored to have my attention.” 

Bea rolled her eyes. “Fuck off,” she muttered. 

Franky let her tongue rake her teeth for a moment, completely amused by the redhead’s reaction. “So, did the girl come out okay?” she asked, becoming somber. 

“Not sure,” Bea answered with a shrug. “When we dropped her off, she was somewhat stable.” 

Franky reached over, taking Bea’s hand into her own. “You did the best you could, Red. No one there knows how long she had been on that floor?” 

Bea shook her head. “No clue,” she replied with a half shrug. She couldn’t help but recall the blonde woman, who was trying desperately to revive her. The intensity of her stare while Bea worked. 

“You going to go check in on her, yeah?” 

She considered it for a moment, her eyes glancing at the clock for a moment. The idea of getting up and driving over to the hospital seemed so daunting. She’d much rather stay in bed, underneath the safety of covers. 

Franky seemed to read her mind, her eyebrow lifting in question. “You can’t stay here all night,” she told her, sternly. 

“The fuck I can’t,” Bea countered, tersely. 

Franky let out a frustrated sigh. “This paramedic job is going to kill you slowly. You’re around death too much.” 

Bea looked away, feeling her resolve break away. She hated crying and especially hated it in front of Franky. Perhaps it had to do with their time together in prison. It had always been considered a sign of weakness in that world. Instead, she bit her lower lip and let her eyes stay focused on the wall.

Franky gave her a moment to recollect herself. “How about this. I made some breakfast. Vegetable omelets and hash browns. Let’s eat and you go take a run. Help get your mind off whatever it is that’s bothering you.” 

 

 

Bea relented and joined the tattoo woman downstairs to eat. They sat in silence through a majority of it. Once finished, Franky insisted on cleaning up leaving Bea to take her up on her offer to take a run. 

Fifteen minutes later, dressed in sweats and a hoodie, she left the house. The afternoon sun was bright, immediately making Bea grateful for grabbing a hat to help shield against it. She ran down the street, enjoying the strain in her legs. It had been a while since she had done this and she made a mental note to thank Franky for suggesting it. 

It had been the sound of sirens that brought her out of her serene reverie. Her head snapped at the sound and she came to a stop, breathing heavily as she glanced around. She had come to the edge of the suburban area that led into the city itself. The sirens came closer and she looked just in time to catch the ambulance pass through towards its destination. 

Her mind went back to that last call. The overdose, the blonde, and the fact that the girl had no family. Curiosity was getting the better of her. 

She checked her pockets, grateful that she grabbed her mobile and cash. 

Not long after, she hailed a cab down and after a short ride through the city, she was in front of the hospital. She paid the cabbie and briskly walked through the double doors. She adjusted her hat slightly as she climbed into the elevator with another woman just beside her. She reached over to press the button to where the ICU beds were, figuring she’d try there first. She stopped midway, noticing the woman had already pressed the floor she happened to also be heading to. 

I’ll just quickly check in on her then be back home within the hour, she thought to herself, as she removed her hat entirely. Her red hair falling downwards. The sooner I get back, the better it’ll be, she decided. 

That was before the woman beside her moved slightly, causing her to come into her peripheral vision. A flash of blonde hair immediately catching her attention. She turned just as the woman brought her hand up to point at her. 

“It’s you!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This past week was so busy that I feel like I couldn't give my full attention to this chapter. I wrote it out one way and then changed direction midway through. I hope I did their first actual meeting justice. Enjoy!

Chapter 6

 

Allie sighed as she walked down the street towards the bus stop. It had been a long night, followed by an extremely longer morning. She was still pissed off, a major understatement, considering she had been forced to spend most of her day in counseling. 

She felt drained and anxious. The familiar pull of a craving already beginning to consume her. She swallowed hard as she stuffed her hands into her pockets. She couldn’t give in. And, even if she wanted to, her stash was all gone. 

She flushed it all. 

Boomer had made sure of it. Boomer’s expression was unreadable as she stood near the stall, Allie half turning so the other woman could watch her empty the baggy into the bowl. Allie didn’t bother looking back as she pressed down on the flusher, watching as everything disappeared. 

She had gone to bed soon after and when she awoke, she found Boomer standing in her doorway. The other woman rarely left the blonde’s side. A task, Allie was sure, given to her by Kaz. The other woman had even joined her to a group therapy session for addicts. 

That had led to a very uncomfortable silence when Boomer had stood and introduced herself before explaining her own addiction. 

Addicted to punching tits in, Allie mused, having had needed to cover her face from laughing as the others looked at her wide eyed. 

Boomer had been her constant companion all day and had almost not let her go alone to the hospital. Allie reassuring her that she would be fine and to leave Kaz to her if it came up. Truth be told, she need some time alone to think. 

Kaz had made it clear that Nikki was her responsibility. The girl had no one it seemed. She hadn’t spoken of any family. Allie agreed, only because she felt that this had been her last chance. Kaz had made her feel on edge. She had been given so many passes before. Kaz had brought her out of her addiction so many times. But everyone has their limits, even someone like Kaz. A woman who would never let another woman down, would never turn her back on them. 

Kaz was all she had in this world. Someone she had always been able to rely on. She felt ashamed that she hadn’t lived up to the expectations that the older woman had. 

She arrived at the bus stop and checked her watch to ensure she made it in time. Her mind replayed the events of the night before as she waited. Her heart nearly stopped when she found the girl. Then almost stopped again when she came face to face with the redheaded paramedic. 

I never did get her name, she realized in disappointment. Had she been wearing a nametag? Or a badge? She didn’t think to look. She had been too distracted by those brown eyes. 

That face. 

Her voice. 

The bus came to a halt, the door sliding open for her. Stepping in, she dropped some change into the payment meter before finding a seat. 

It hadn’t mattered, she decided. It wasn’t like she was ever going to see her again. Not unless by some massive coincidence she happened to call 000 and it would be the redhead that comes running. 

There has to be hundreds of paramedics in this city, she thought as she gazed out of the bus window. Her eyes catching sight of buildings and people. What were the odds of her answering another emergency call with Allie near by? She stopped her tain of thought as she realized that she was half hoping for another emergency to arrive. Just in order to see the redhead again. 

Novak, you are completely fucked up. 

She jumped up as the bus came to a stop. It was a few blocks away from the hospital, but she had hoped the walk would help clear her head. A while later, she found herself walking through a set of double doors, instantly gravitating to the receptionist desk. 

“She was brought in last night,” she told the lady, who sat behind the desk after explaining the situation. “I’m from the women’s shelter, where she was staying. I just wanted to check in and make sure she’s alright.” 

“Do you know what time she would have been brought in?” she asked, her eyes darting back and forth as she read the computer screen. She barely glanced up at the blonde. 

“Reckon just before midnight?” 

“Looks like here was a female brought in just after eleven,” she stated. “She’s in the ICU right now. Floor ten. She is in room 5003.” 

She thanked her before heading down the hall towards the elevators. She stopped momentarily to allow another woman dressed in sweats, hoodie, and ball cap to go first. She waited, casually glancing at the woman, who had moved forward to press the button. 

The elevator opened with a loud ding and they boarded the small enclosure. Allie quickly pressed the floor number needed, noticing that the woman beside her had leaned to do the same. She caught sight of the women’s curly red hair when she came into her field of vision. Turning her head slightly, Allie considered the possibility that the woman was the paramedic from the night before. 

Couldn’t be, she thought to herself. 

The woman drew in a sigh as she grabbed the cap from her head. Curly, red hair cascaded down to her shoulders and Allie would recognize her anywhere. 

“It’s you!” Allie exclaimed just as the elevator doors slid shut.

Bea’s head snapped towards the sound of the outburst. The blonde woman beside her had her whole body facing her, a look of surprise on her face. It took Bea a moment, her eyes tracing over the blonde’s face, before she recognized her. 

The girl from the shelter, she realized. The one who had been preforming CPR. 

Bea hadn’t had a chance to properly look at her the night before. Her focus had solely been on saving the girl. But, now under the fluorescent lighting, she was able to take in the blonde’s features. She was younger than she previously believed. And, she was pale with dark circles below her blue eyes. She looked like she had slept in days. 

“I didn’t think I’d see you ever again,” Allie continued with a grin. She was surprised and excited have bumped into her. 

Why would she want to? Bea wondered to herself as she lifted a brow. 

“You workin’ today?” she asked with that smile still there. 

We’re in a hospital, Bea thought to herself. How could anyone smile like that in a place like this? 

“Um, no,” Bea answered with a shake of her head. Her hands began to twist the ball cap up and her eyes darted to the number on the top of the door, wondering if the bloody contraption could go any quicker. 

“Visiting?” 

“Sort of,” she answered, hesitantly. “What about you? You here to visit your friend?” 

“Wouldn’t exactly call her my friend,” she answered with a chuckle. “But, yes I am here to check in on her. See how she is.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Bea explained, turning her attention back to the numbers, watching as each one lit up as they passed the floor. 

“Oh, do you know her then?” Allie asked, thinking back to the night before. The redhead hadn’t seemed to know her when she asked all those questions.

Bea looked back at her, shaking her head. “Um, no. I don’t. It’s just something I do. I like to check in and see how they are.” She paused, watching as Allie became slightly amused. “You know, the people that I bring in.” 

“So, you stalk them,” Allie commented with a smirk. 

“I do not!” Bea snapped, a little more defensively than she had intended. It took her a moment too late to realize that the blonde had been joking. 

Allie held up her hands, Bea watching as her palm was waved in front of her. Although still amused, she was taken back a moment by Bea’s outburst. “Sorry, just bad humor. I meant nothing by it.” 

Bea had been distracted by the blonde’s hands. Her brows furrowed, and she stepped aside to push the emergency button. Allie’s eyes widened, watching as the redhead turned to look at her. She noticed the look of concern that began to take form, as she stuffed her ballcap into the pocket of her hoodie. 

“How long ago was your late hit?” she asked suddenly and with that Allie’s frown deepened. She took a hold of the blonde’s arm. 

“What?” 

“Your last hit. When?” Bea’s hands went to Allie’s sleeve, pushing it up. 

Allie was momentarily distracted by the redhead’s hands on her arm. She shook her head, pulling out of her grasp. “I haven’t got a clue what you mean,” she muttered under her breath. 

“You can’t lie to me,” Bea continued. “I see it in your face. And, your hands are shaking. You’re itching for a fix, yeah?”

“Is this how you treat all your new friends?” Allie asked as she crossed her arms up over her chest. “Grab them and accuse them of taking drugs.” 

Bea scoffed. “We aren’t friends. I don’t even know your name.” 

Allie smiled at that before holding out her hand. “Allie Novak.” 

Bea eyed her hand for a moment before turning back around to push the emergency button. The elevator continued its journey upwards. 

“What? I don’t get a name?” Allie asked, unable to keep the amusement from showing. “I want to know who I can thank properly for saving my friend.” 

Bea glanced over at her for a moment. “Thought you said she wasn’t really your friend.” 

“You realize that we are heading to see the same person,” she said with laugh. “How am I to introduce you without a name?” 

Bea felt annoyed, her eyes narrowing. Before a comeback could reach her lips, the elevator dinged, signally their arrival. Bea exited first, glancing around to determine which direction to head in. The blonde followed just behind her. 

“You really aren’t going to give me your name?” Allie asked with a laugh. 

“I’m really not,” she replied, coldly. 

“No worries,” Allie stated and shrugged when Bea glanced back at her. “I’ll find out eventually anyway.” 

“Pretty cocky there, aren’t you?” Bea countered as they turned the corner, her eyes beginning to scan the room numbers. 

“I prefer determined,” she replied with a grin. 

Bea stopped so abruptly that Allie had almost collided into her back. The blonde peered around Bea, noticing that they had arrived at room 5003. Bea turned slightly, moving slightly away when she realized how close they were standing. 

“You wanna go in first?” she offered, motioning to the room. 

Allie sighed heavily, suddenly feeling unsure. Hospitals made her so uneasy. She had been admitted a few times in the past for an overdose or two. The last one just over a year ago. Kaz had been at her bedside when she had woken up. 

“Problem?” the redhead’s voice cut through her thoughts. 

Allie shook her head. “Just not sure what to expect, ya know?” 

Bea could understand that. Having been in emergency services for a year now, she was used to just expecting the worse. Every call. Every situation. She moved forward, pushing the door open and motioning for Allie to enter. 

It was a large, lightly lit room with two beds set up. The first bed was empty with Nikki laid on the second closest to the window. Allie glanced back at the redhead, who stood with an emotionless expression. 

Allie swallowed hard as she neared Nikki. Her eyes taking in the scene. The wires that linked the girl to the machines set up around her. The steady beep of the monitor. Nikki was unconscious, slightly reclined on the bed under a thin blanket with a breathing tube. 

“What’s wrong with her?” Allie asked, stepping closer. 

“Overdoses are rough on the body,” Bea explained as she crossed her arms over her chest. “My guess is coma from lack of oxygen.” 

Allie turned to look at her. “Lack of oxygen?”

Bea shrugged slightly. “When your heart stops, the blood flow to your brain stops.”

The blonde nodded in understanding before another thought crossed her mind. One that made her stomach drop slightly. The redhead seemed see where her frame of thought had headed and moved forward slightly. She placed a gentle hand on Allie’s shoulder. 

“There was nothing you could have done,” Bea reminded her. Allie nodded several times. “If it weren’t for you, she’d have been long gone before we got there. She has a chance now, because of you.” 

She nodded again, a grateful smile spreading on her lips. Bea dropped her hand, moving away slightly to give the blonde some room. Allie felt herself come to a startling realization. The bed, the monitors, the breathing tube was where she was heading. She wondered for a moment if Kaz had sent her for a different purpose. To see this. To see what could happen. 

“Pretty eye opening, wouldn’t you say?” Bea’s voice cut through her thoughts. 

Allie glanced her way, noticing how rigid Bea’s posture had become. It was almost like it was hurting her to be in here. With a sigh, Allie explained, “I was clean for a while. I only just fucked up the other night.” 

“And?” 

“And, I’m gonna try to stop,” she concluded with a sigh as she turned back to look at Nikki. 

Bea took several steps forward to stand beside her. “There is no try, Allie,” she told her, sternly. “Take it from me. There either is do it or don’t.” 

Allie nodded in agreement, smiling a little at the use of her name. It sounded wonderful coming from those lips. Cool it, Novak, she chastised herself. “Is she going to be alright?” she asked. 

Bea gave a slight shrug. “Who knows,” she answered. “I’ve seen worse cases where the person walks away completely fine. But, then I’ve also seen less than serious where the person doesn’t.” 

Allie felt cold suddenly. “You sure know how to comfort a girl,” she muttered. 

Bea pursed her lips together, unsure if her honesty was needed or not. “Well, I’ve got to head off,” she announced, taking her cap out from her hoodie pocket and beginning to retreat from the room. 

“Hey, wait,” Allie called out to her, watching as the redhead stopped at the doorway to look back at her. “You never gave me your name.” 

Bea rolled her eyes. “Relentless,” she muttered as she turned the door knob to leave. She stopped then, meeting the blonde’s curious gaze. “For what it’s worth, Allie,” she began as she tapped her fingers on the doorframe. “I really do hope that was the last hit.” 

Allie felt her heart skip a few beats, watching as the redhead opened the door further and slipped out. She really is something, she mused with a shake of her head. Despite the circumstances, she couldn’t help smiling. She was in a hospital room, standing next to a woman’s unconscious body. The woman that she had helped save from an overdose the night prior. It was hardly the time to feel such elation after a short conversation. 

But she did feel it. 

Felt it all over. 

And Allie couldn’t help be amused by the fact that she still didn’t know her name.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay. I had a huge exam to study for that took up all my time and energy. Then, my exam got cancelled cos we are expecting 9 inches of snow. Figures. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. We are slowly getting into more Allie and Bea interactions.

Chapter 7

 

Bea felt distracted all day. She had been lost in her thoughts while they waited in the rig between calls. They had a fair amount of calls in the beginning of her shift with a few calls ending in transportation to the hospital for intensive care. 

As focused as she had been during those times, when they reached the double doors of the emergency room, her mind went back to the blonde girl. 

Allie. 

It had been a few days since she had run into the blonde. In her view, it had been a strange encounter. That excitement she witnessed when she had pulled her cap off in the elevator. And, the blonde seemed unable to keep her gaze off the redhead. Bea had felt those blue eyes on her the entire journey to the floor and down the hallway. 

She found herself wondering how Allie was faring. More than once, she thought back to the signs she had noticed. The dark circles and shaking hands. She looked like she could use a decent meal. She wondered if she had anyone looking out for her. 

The girl was an addict, she reminded herself. And that thought always seemed to bring her back to Debbie. 

They could never determine if Debbie had been an addict or just experimenting. And, the unknown always angered her. Had that fatal dose been her first? Or had the young girl been struggling with an addiction that wound up consuming her? 

Bea often wondered if she would have noticed those same signs in Debbie as she had in Allie. Had she not been locked up, could she have saved her daughter? Or, would her daughter had even gone down that path to begin with? 

Of course, during her short stint in counseling, she knew that manner of thinking was never productive. Or healthy. 

“You alright, love?” Maxine asked as they collected their gear and began walking back towards the exit. 

Bea turned to her, blinking a few times. “I’m good,” she assured her with a forced smile. She only hoped that Maxine wouldn’t see through her false bravado. “Thanks.” 

The taller woman didn’t seem at all convinced, but said nothing as they packed up the rig. They 

The remainder of their shift seemed to drag on with abnormal stretches of time between calls. It was nearing three in the morning when Maxine parked the rig for a short break. She reached behind the seat for the bag of chips and water bottles they had picked up earlier in the night. They sat in silence as they ate, waiting for the radio to announce their next call.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Maxine asked after a while. She tilted her head, noticing that the redhead hadn’t heard her. “Bea?

The redhead seemed to come back to herself, her head turning quickly to look at her partner. Maxine sat back in the driver’s seat, giving her a gentle smile of encouragement. “You seem miles away, love,” she commented as she put the bag down. 

“Just a lot on my mind, I guess,” Bea explained with a shrug. 

“How’s the girl?” she asked. 

“Girl?” Bea looked over at her, confused. 

“The one from the women’s shelter,” she clarified. “Franky mentioned that you may have gone to the hospital to check in on her.” 

Bea scowled before throwing her hands up in defeat. “Do you guys talk about anyone or anything else but me?” 

Maxine grinned, unable to contain her amusement at the petulant frown on the redhead’s face. “We met for drinks the other night with Booms.” 

Bea’s temper subsided and she looked over in surprise. “Boomer? Oh, I haven’t seen her in ages. How’s she doing?” 

“Well, from what we could tell,” Maxine explained as she took a sip of her water. “She’s doing some volunteer work. She didn’t tell us much, because afterwards, she began insisting we all do shots.” 

Bea laughed. Boomer had been another cellmate of hers. She hadn’t kept in contact with the other woman as Franky had. And while on their many nights out, Franky had eventually introduced Maxine and Boomer. The trio enjoyed a night out on regular basis. Both Franky and Maxine always extending the invite to Bea, who always turned it down. 

“That’s good,” Bea commented with a smile. “I always worried after her when she left Wentworth.” 

Maxine hummed in agreement. “So, the girl,” she spoke, circling back to the original topic. 

“Unconscious, but stable,” she informed her, taking a sip of water and glancing out of the window as a small group of individuals walked along the sidewalk near them. “She had another visitor when I stopped by. A friend, I think.” 

“Oh, that’s good,” Maxine said with a bright smile. “The women that night made it sound like she may have no one. It’s good to hear that at least one person is keeping an eye out.”

She had to agree with that. They received their next call through the radio a short while later. As Maxine guided the rig through traffic, Bea again found herself falling back into her thoughts. 

She began to wonder if Allie had anyone looking out for her. She recalled how an older blonde woman had rushed into the room that night. The look of fright and worry plastered all over her face. She seemed almost motherly as she wrapped an arm around Allie’s slender form. Allie had fallen against her with ease, obviously finding comfort in their embrace. Perhaps that woman was ensuring the blonde didn’t relapse again.

At least she hoped so. 

It was several hours later that she found herself back at the hospital. Her shift had ended nearly an hour prior. She should have gone home. Instead, she had made a hasty decision to check in on the blonde girl. She was still deciding on which blonde girl she had come to check in on as she approached the elevators. 

With a sigh, she pressed her thumb into the button. Usually, she only worried after the people that she had personally treated and transported. Sometimes, by the time she made it back around to check in on them, she had found they had already been discharged. Other times, she would walk through the doors only to walk out five minutes later, because they hadn’t made it. 

The elevator dinged, and she prepared herself to board when the doors slid open. Instead, she stopped herself, almost running into the person, who had been about to exit. Her head snapped up, preparing for the apology for the near collision. Instead, she froze. 

Of course, of all people, it was her. 

“Allie,” she managed with a gasp. 

“Oh, well, hi there!” Allie responded with a grin. Bea opened her mouth to say something, only to be interrupted by the blonde. “Heading up to do some early morning stalking?” 

Bea opened her mouth to respond, but the elevator dinged and the doors began to slide shut. They both darted forward, attempting to stop it. Allie’s hand found the metal door first, pushing it back, and a second later Bea’s landed on top. 

Bea looked down at their hands, her palm feeling the smooth skin of Allie’s hand. She turned to look back at the blonde, who was observing her reaction in amusement. The redhead pulled her hand away quickly. Allie, who seemed unperturbed by the entire interaction, merely smirked. Dark blue eyes seemed to trace the outlines of Bea’s face and Bea felt the back of her mouth begin to dry. 

“So, are you heading up?” she asked again, her arm keeping the doors opened for them. 

Bea cleared her voice before stuffing both of her hands into her jacket pockets. Bea cleared her voice before stuff both of her hands into her pockets. “Actually, I just got off shift and I’m just gonna grab a bite instead.” 

Allie moved away slightly, her eyes still intently on Bea’s. “Perfect,” she said with a smile. “I happen to be heading that way for a cuppa.” 

Of course, you are, Bea thought to herself. Realizing it was too late to change her mind and not wanting to rude, she stepped into the enclosure. The cafeteria was located one floor below. The short ride seemed longer to Bea and she could feel the blonde’s eyes on her the entire time. 

“So, do you guys not wear name tags?” Allie asked, her eyes dragging up and down the redhead’s body. 

Bea’s eyebrows furrowed, momentarily confused before realizing that Allie was once again trying to discover what her name was. When the elevator doors slid open, she took off at a brisk walk, knowing without looking back the blonde would be at her heels. 

“You seriously won’t give me your name?” she asked, her voice full of amusement. 

“Jane Doe,” she answered with a slight smirk when Allie rolled her eyes. 

They stopped at the food line, and Bea turned when she noticed Allie digging through her pockets. Her hands pulling out loose change. 

Allie felt slightly embarrassed as she began to count the coins she found. The money she had was long gone. She had needed to find new work and soon. She couldn’t go back to her other profession. Not if she wanted off the gear. She felt the redhead’s curious gaze on her. She hadn’t intended to come down for anything, having been on her way out for a few hours. 

But, how could she possibly pass up an opportunity to spend some time with the redhead. 

“I’m gonna go get myself some coffee,” she explained, pointing to the coffee maker at the other end of the room. 

“Allie, when was the last time you ate?” Bea asked as she lifted a brow. 

That was a good question. Allie couldn’t really remember. She did eat a cheap burger the day prior. And, she did remember grabbing a small snack from the vending machine sometime after. The redhead must have noticed the realization on her face. 

“Come on then,” she instructed with a sigh, motioning to the food line. 

It took a moment for Allie to realize what the redhead was implying. She shook her head. “No, no, I’m fine with just –“

“You need to eat,” the redhead insisted, her voice seemingly becoming raspier as she grew insistent. Allie nodded in defeat and followed the redhead. 

They gathered food up on their trays in silence. Allie thanked Bea once more as she paid. And Bea assumed that their third encounter had ended. She moved across the room, finding a table near the corner. She unzipped her jacket and took her seat as she glanced around the room. It was a habit from her time in Wentworth. Back then, it had been to get a sense of who was in the room. She never could break the habit. 

She took note of the few people in the cafeteria, eating or sipping their morning coffee. Her eyes found Allie, who had gone for her own cup of coffee. The blonde had been fixated on her task before looking back towards her. Bea averted her eyes, hoping she hadn’t been caught staring. 

 

She began to eat, letting her mind wander once more. She felt for the girl. She was clearly in need of cash and a decent meal. She hoped she had appreciated her moment of giving and hadn’t neem offended. 

Bea was ripped from her thoughts when she heard the tray being set on the table and the sound of the chair being dragged across the floor. She looked up to see Allie take a seat. The blonde didn’t appear to notice the look of annoyance on Bea’s face. Instead, she focused on her food as she grabbed a fork to begin eating. 

Allie hadn’t realized how hungry she was until she looked at the scrambled eggs and bacon she had filled her plate with. She swallowed hard as she took her first bite of eggs, savoring the taste. It was a far cry from the cheap carton of scrambled raw eggs they usually used at the shelter. When she opened her eyes, she noticed the redhead looking at her funny.

“Sorry,” she replied after she swallowed her food. “It’s just… I haven’t had scrambled eggs in a really long time,” she explained with a smile before eating another bite. 

Bea scowled. “Why are you sitting here?”

“Why not?” Allie asked, raising her eyebrow in curiosity. “You brought me food. Felt odd to sit anywhere else.” 

Bea shook her head, unable to form a response. Instead, they sat in silence and ate. She pondered what Allie had said and curiosity got the better of her. “Don’t they make scrambled eggs at the shelter?” she asked after a long moment. 

Allie glanced up at her as she took another quick bite. “Well, yeah, they do. But, they don’t cook them from fresh eggs. They come in milk cartons.” 

Bea’s face screwed upward in disgust. “Ew.” 

“Exactly,” Allie commented with a smile as she bit into a piece of bacon. “Mind, we’re all super grateful for getting food at all.”

Bea shook her head, thinking back to a similar conversation she had with Franky a year ago. She remembered how simple food outside of Wentworth tasted. She had nearly cried when she got a fast food burger for the first time in years. 

“I can relate,” Bea found herself admitting. 

“Oh, have you stayed at the shelter?” Allie asked as she took a sip of coffee. “I’ve been in and out of that place for a long while now. I don’t remember seeing you there. I would have remembered,” she told her with a wink. 

Bea was momentarily confused by the comment. She was certainly not memorable in anyway. Then, she realized that she had to come up with an explanation. There were only a handful of people in her life who knew about her time behind bars. Half of them had spent time with her. She had never been presented with a social opportunity to reveal such information. Biting her lip, she decided to take the chance. If it went wrong, at least it would mean that the girl would perhaps run in the other direction. 

“I was incarcerated,” she told her in a low voice, feeling the need to make sure no one else could overhear them. 

She watched as Allie’s eyes widened for a moment. Then, to her surprise, a short laugh and smirk had followed. “Wow, I can’t picture you in prison.” 

Bea’s eyebrows furrowed, troubled by the response. She hadn’t expected that. “Why do you say that?” 

“I don’t know,” Allie replied with a shrug. “You saved a life right in front of me. I don’t know. I just can’t imagine someone who spends all their time going from one tragedy to the next to help people, would have done time.” 

Bea looked on confused by Allie’s nonchalant attitude to her revelation. It was like she didn’t care. 

Or, she’d seen worse. 

The thought took Bea by surprise. She hadn’t considered that. Too wrapped up in her own grief and own past. She hadn’t thought of the pain of others. Which was absurd, since she had seen pain every day. 

Different pain, she realized. She always seen the physical pain of others. Never the pain of those that are left behind. As she gazed over at Allie’s blue eyes, she wondered what kind of pain the blonde had. 

“What’d you do?” Allie asked, bringing her out of her thoughts. 

“Sorry?” 

“To get locked up,” Allie clarified. “What’d you do?” 

Bea hesitated, not wanting to divulge too much information from her life to a stranger. “I don’t think you want to know that much about me,” she replied before smirking. “We aren’t even on a first name basis.”

Allie chuckled. “Well, that’s your own fault,” she pointed out as she finished up the last bit of her bacon. “You refuse to share.” 

“I’m sharing a meal with you,” Bea reminded her as she motioned to the food before them. 

Allie’s eyes twinkled in amusement. “I am very thankful for that.” 

Bea nodded, allowing herself to smile slightly. Allie took notice and her face softened in return. Bea found herself constantly looking up from her meal to glance at the blonde. A strange mixture of comfort and nervousness filled her. Allie hadn’t run away as she thought she would have. As any other person would have. For a moment, she pondered telling her the entire story, especially the darker parts. Allie had seemed eager to understand the circumstances of Bea’s imprisonment. 

Perhaps another time, Bea decided after a long moment before realizing the implications of what that meant. Another time meant that this moment wouldn’t be the last they shared. 

The very idea had both excited and frightened her. 

And, with that, she found herself smiling even wider.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart wasn't fully invested in this chapter. But, it was a chapter to help set up part of the plot.

Chapter 8

 

Eight years ago… 

 

Allie staggered down the street, stopping every few seconds to take a deep breath. 

Fucking bastard, she thought to herself as she placed a hand over her abdomen. 

The man had been relentless. And, she should have seen it all coming. He had been rough when he had taken her. She had closed her eyes and began to take herself elsewhere, waiting until he had finished. A few seconds later, his hips jerked forward erratically before stilling. 

Thinking it was over, she had opened her eyes in time to see the man’s fist drawn back. Then, it all went black. 

She came to sometime later. The client was gone, leaving a trail of bills scattered across the mattress. Her limbs felt heavy as she gathered the money and adjusted her clothes. 

Gritting her teeth in anger, she stopped again to lean against the building. “Fuck,” she muttered under her breath. 

She couldn’t decide what was worse about her situation. 

The fact that she allowed herself to be beaten. 

Or the fact that the bastard had underpaid. 

She cursed once more when she took a step forward, only to stumble to her knees. Allie didn’t even know where she was heading. The women’s shelter was a mile to her left. She had only been there a few times. Lately, she had been staying on her friend’s couch. No way, she could show up at their doorstep now. Not without having to explain how she gotten into this condition. 

Having felt all her strength leave, she let herself slide down and leaned against the brick building. She wasn’t sure how long she sat there. Perhaps she had blacked out again. She could feel herself being pulled gently backward. Then, she was on her back. 

There were voices all around her, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. There was movement all around her. Or perhaps, she was being moved. Then she could feel a small pinch in her arm before she fell unconscious again. 

She felt herself come to. The sound of conversations guiding her back to consciousness. Opening her eyes, she found herself in a hospital bed. She scanned the room, finding it empty. There was pain everywhere that only became worse when she attempting to move. She paused when she noticed the voices were becoming louder. Her eyes caught sight of two women before she closed them. 

“Where’d you find this one?” the first woman asked as the sound of footsteps echoed in the room. A second later, Allie heard someone approach the side of her bed. She held back a wince when she felt cool hands touch her arm. “She’s got quite the shiner.” 

“Up some alley way,” a second woman explained, sounding exasperated. “Someone bashed her and left her.” 

Allie suspected the woman beside her was a nurse, having come in to check in on her and take vitals. She had seen such routines on several television medical dramas. She wondered briefly who the second woman was. Another nurse? Or just a good Samaritan that happened upon her after her beating. 

“Shame,” she replied with sadness. “What’s this world coming to, I wonder.” 

“Who fucking knows,” the second woman replied from across the room. 

“Such a young thing, too,” the first woman commented, almost in awe. “I wonder how she got there to begin with.”

“A runaway, I reckon,” the second woman ventured.

There was sound of papers being shuffled before more footsteps sounded around her. 

“Are you heading out then?” the nurse asked, her voice sounding far away now. 

“Nah,” came the quick response. “I’ll stay here and keep her company.” 

There was a quick goodbye before Allie could hear the footsteps retreating further. Allie wondered if she should continue pretending to be unconscious or if she should open her eyes and meet the mystery woman. 

She heard shuffling and then the TV switched on. The sound of an anchorman speaking filled the small room. It was clear that the woman had made herself comfortable. 

“And, in tonight’s news, the sentencing of housewife of man that had been beaten near death,” the man on the TV rattled on. “Bea Smith, 31, was sentenced today for 7 years for attempted murder of her husband.”

Allie slowly opened her eyes, catching sight of the TV and the man speaking about the woman. She had heard of her in the last month. A woman, who had taken a bat to her husband. It sounded like malice for a while until the news began leaking records of the woman’s extensive list of hospital stays. The narrative in the media began to change. It hadn’t been an attack or attempted murder. The woman had been defending herself. 

Her heart sank a little to hear the turnout. Especially since she knew a thing or two about being bashed. 

“Oh, you’re awake!” the woman exclaimed in relief, effectively breaking Allie from her thoughts. 

She turned her head to look at the woman. She was blonde, who was much older than herself. While her tone was pleasant, there was a hardness to her that Allie immediately picked up on. 

Allie shuffled a little in her bed, feeling pain shooting up her side. The mystery woman moved forward. 

“Hey, hey, don’t try and move,” she spoke in a low voice. “The doctor said you have a few cracked ribs. Best try and rest.”

Allie shook her head. “Nah, I gotta get out of here,” she explained, trying to sit up, only to fall back in pain. 

“Yeah, let’s see how far you get,” the woman replied, shaking her head. The exchange reminded Allie vaguely of her mother. 

“Who the hell are you?” Allie asked, slightly irritated. She didn’t want to be reminded of her mother. Especially not after what had happened between her and her mother. 

The woman gave a slight smile. “I’m Karen Proctor.” 

 

 

Present day… 

 

 

They were silent on their way back to the main floor. Allie couldn’t seem to help herself but glance over at the redhead every so often. When the elevator dinged and doors slid open. 

“How’s your friend?” the redhead asked as they walked. 

Allie shrugged. “Doctor doesn’t seem too optimistic.”

“Where’s her family?” she asked. 

“She’s probably a runaway,” Allie explained with another shrug. She knew all too well how that was like. In the beginning, she had been too angry to even admit that her family was even alive. When asked, the answer that fell from her lips insinuated some terrible accident had befallen on them, leaving Allie alone. Kaz had been the first to see through that façade. “Perhaps,” she continued, “she had been thrown out on her ass. I can’t even say if Nikki is her real name.” 

As they exited the hospital, they came to a stop. “Thrown out?” An odd look crossed the redhead’s face. 

Allie was taken back by the tone. It was as if the very idea was unheard of. “Yeah, it’s possible.”

She seemed to ponder that answer, but said nothing further. “Maybe, you should go through her things?” 

That made Allie pause and she crossed her arms over chest. “You reckon?”

“Well, when I was,” she hesitated, seemingly trying to pick her words carefully. “Locked up, I had a small number of personal belongings. A family photo. Books. My favorite blanket.” 

“The shelter isn’t summer camp,” Allie pointed out. 

“Neither was prison.” 

She had a point there. Allie shook her head. “Suppose it’s worth a shot.” 

The redhead was silent for a moment. “Whatever happened between that girl and her family, I know that her mother at the very least would want to know.” She paused and Allie watched as a look of sadness crossed the redhead’s face. “I would want to know.” 

Allie nodded, but said nothing. She had seen similar flashes of sadness take ahold of the older woman and wondered what had brought it on. Before she could think of a response, the redhead jabbed her thumb backwards to point behind her. 

“I’ve got to get going,” she told her. 

“When will I see you again?” the blonde found herself asking. 

The redhead had already turned to leave but stopped at the question. She looked surprised, almost like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. 

“You know, so I can give you an update on what I find?” Allie quickly explained, hoping to help ease the fear she saw in the older woman’s eyes. She wondered briefly about what could have happened to her that made such a simple suggestion create such an adverse response. Had it been prison? Or something else? 

The redhead took a moment to ponder the explanation. Then, she brought a hand up to remove a pen that was clipped onto her jacket chest pocket. Allie watched as she dug into another pocket, producing a small piece of paper. After scribbling something, she took a step closer to Allie before extending her arm, offering the piece of paper. 

Allie’s eyes moved from the redhead’s hand to her eyes. She reached out, grabbing a hold of the paper. 

“Just call me if you find anything else out,” the redhead instructed, seemingly trying to sound impartial. 

Allie saw through it. The redhead was invested in whatever happened to the patients she transported in. Nikki was no exception. Deciding to not comment on it, she accepted the paper, amused that there was no name included. She flashed the paper up in view. “So, who shall I put this under in my mobile?” 

The redhead laughed and shook her head. “You can put it under Bea.”

Allie shook her head, confused for a moment. “The letter ‘B’?” 

The redhead laughed again. “Just Bea,” she stated before walking away. 

 

“Now what are you up to?” Boomer asked when she poked her head in the door. “What are you doing in Nikki’s room?”

Allie looked up from one of the drawers she had been rummaging through. “Hey, close that door, will ya?” she instructed. “I don’t want the other girls thinking this is a free for all or something.”

Boomer slipped in, clearly confused. “Are you stealing?” she asked before her eyes widen. “Are you looking for gear? Oh, you know Kaz will go mental if she catches you!” 

“I am not looking for gear,” Allie nearly growled. “Don’t go telling Kaz that! She’s already angry with me about lying.” 

“Fuck yeah, she is,” Boomer agreed, clearly amused. “We were talkin’ earlier. She’s pissed.” 

The blonde rolled her eyes as she shut one drawer before opening another. “Lemme guess, she mentioned I should be out of there soon, yeah?”

Boomer’s face dropped, before she began squinting in confusion. “Urm, yeah, she did, actually.”

Allie shook her head. It was typical of the older blonde, to be sure. The silent treatment would come first. Then, threats of being cut off. Eventually, when Kaz calmed, they always had a heart to heart. It was always then that Allie promised to not fuck up. 

“I need to find a job,” Allie commented as she pushed aside from clothing. 

“Oh, oh, I can probably help with that one,” Boomer replied.

Allie glanced over at her. “Oh, you can, can you?” she asked, slightly amused. “Are you hiring?”

The blonde chuckled at the look of confusion. The joke had clearly gone over the other woman’s head. 

“Well, not me,” she explained. “I know someone lookin’ for help. I can put a good word in.” 

She closed the drawer, considering the offer. She was serious of getting off the gear. And, even while she stood there, the craving was like a nagging itch in the back of her head, desperately wanting to be scratched. She had run out of money, so she hadn’t been able to replace the gear she had flushed. And, she wasn’t feeling up to selling her body any time soon. Not when her mind was beginning to become overcrowded with a certain redhead she had met. 

“Alright,” Allie agreed with a bright smile before kneeling and opening the last drawer. “What’s the job?”

“Well, I don’t know exactly,” Boomer replied, the same look of confusion returning to her face. “I have a friend that works at this legal place.”

Allie closed the last drawer with a sigh. There was nothing here to help her find out who Nikki was or her family. She stood up before looking over at the other woman. “Legal place? You mean, like a law firm?”

Boomer’s eyes looked upwards as if she were looking for the answer on the ceiling. “Sort of, I think. Yeah, I think that’s right.” She shook her head before seemingly collecting herself. “She said she needed someone to deliver stuff.”

It was the blonde’s turn to look confused. “Who’s ‘she’? And, what do you mean by stuff?”

The other woman gave a slight shrug. “Well, um, see I ran into my best mate the other day,” she explained. “She asked if I was lookin’ for work because you see, she’s looking for some sort of assistant or delivery person.” 

Allie thought it over for a long moment. “Are you sure?” she asked, not wanting to swipe any opportunities meant for the other woman. 

“Yeah,” she assured her. “I told Frankie it wasn’t for me. I like what I do now. I told her I wanted to ask you, because Kaz mentioned something about you need new work.”

The blonde tilted her head in amusement. “Did she now?” She could imagine that the conversation had gone a little differently than what Boomer was depicting. Kaz, of course, knew of Allie’s occupation and had encouraged, and even demanded, that she seek a new path in life. Allie sighed as she leaned back on the drawer chest. She bit her lip. 

“Well?” Boomer asked, raising her eyebrows. 

She did need money. And, since she had no intention to return to her previous profession, it didn’t leave her much option. Sighing in resignation, she gave a slight nod. “Sure.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just assume that Franky is the jack of all trades at her job. It took me a while to figure out what kind of job Allie would be good at. I was inspired by The Good Wife. I've been binge watching. LOL.

Chapter 9 

 

Allie shifted in the chair that was positioned in front of the desk. A list of excuses to leave began to form in her mind. Why had she let Boomer talk her in to this? She sat straight and readjusted her blazer before sighing. She felt so out of place the moment she walked into the small law firm. The receptionist, who had been teen years younger than herself, greeted her. She felt underdressed as she glanced around the room. All the men seemed to be in suits and ties while the women were finely dressed in skirts and blouses. 

She had been left in the small office for a few minutes. The longer she sat there, the more reasons began to formulate in her head. To busy herself, Allie leaned forward to pick up the name tag that read ‘Francesca Doyle’. She glanced around, trying to get a sense of this person was. There hadn’t been anything personal on the walls. She put the name tag back on the desk and leaned back. 

“Sorry I kept ya,” a voice said from behind her and the sound caused Allie to leap to her feet. She turned around to find a lithe woman, not much older than herself, walk in with a pile of folders in her arm. Her attire was quite the contrast from the rest of the people outside of the office. She donned on worn fitted jeans and a red long sleeve shirt. The sleeves had been pushed upward, showing off a very decorate set of tattoos. 

“Oh, it’s no big deal,” Allie assured her before extending her hand out. “You must be Francesca. Allie Novak.”

She had to admit the brunette wasn’t what she had expected. The entire law firm seemed poised and proper, yet here had come this casually dressed tattooed woman. She looked more prepared for bar hopping than law work. 

“Now, now, no need to be so formal,” Franky told her as she shook the blonde’s hand. “Franky.” 

Allie nodded with a smile and watched as Franky moved around the desk and dropped the folders. She took the cue to sit as soon as the tattoo woman had. 

“So, I looked over your resume,” Franky began as she pulled out one of the folders and opened it to see the quick resume Allie had strung together the night before in the recreation room at the shelter. “Now, tell me how much of it is bullshit.”

Allie’s eyes widened. She knew she had over exaggerated her past employment, but had made sure not to overly do it to raise eyebrows. “Well, I had been a receptionist,” she explained hurriedly. “Maybe like fifteen years ago.” 

Franky nodded before closing the folder shut. She leaned forward. “Now listen,” she began. “I’m not going to ask for a bio here, but Boomer is vouching for ya. And, Booms and I go way back. She says you’re good for it. I want to believe it.” 

Allie nodded, unsure of how to respond. She hadn’t asked for the help and part of her was tempted to just say ‘fuck it’ and leave. But, the thought of Kaz’s angry face and the beautiful redhead’s smile kept her glued to her chair. “Sorry, I just…” 

Franky held a hand up. “You’re from the shelter, yah?” Allie nodded. “I know how it is, trust me,” she explained. “Just be straight with me from now on and we’ll call it good. Did Booms tell you what this job was for?”

“Sort of,” she answered. “She said it was delivering and assisting.” 

Franky shook he head in amusement. “Partly true. Technically, I’m a paralegal here,” she explained. “Been here a long while, too, so they give me the most cases. Part of what I need is someone to serve subpoenas.” 

“Like actual subpoenas?” Allie asked, sitting up straighter. She had to admit, that sounded intriguing. 

“Yep,” Franky answered with a curt nod. “I help track down people that are being sued and I need someone I can send out to serve them. Think you can handle it?”

Allie gave a nod. Anything was better than selling herself. “How much does it pay?” 

Franky shrugged. “Well, the boss gave me a small budget to work with. I can pay you forty for each subpoena served. Then maybe minimum wages for part time hours here in the office. How’s that sound?” 

“Sounds fair to me,” Allie said with a nod. Suddenly, it didn't seem so taunting to her. She felt something close to excitement. She smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Franky.”

“Nah, thank Booms,” Franky told her with a grin as she leaned back in her office chair. “So, let’s get you all set up and you can start tomorrow. I have at least five subpoenas that need to be served.”

Allie spent the next few hours filling out her employment paperwork. She learned much about Franky, who she found to be easy going. The longer she sat there getting to know her new boss, the better she felt about showing up for her interview. She felt the weight lift from her shoulders. She was set to make at least a couple hundred dollars and she could remain fully clothed. 

She really did have to thank Boomer. 

 

Later that night… 

 

 

Bea sat at the table, half listening to the conversation taking place. Maxine sat beside her, speaking enthusiastically across the table with Franky. Bea rested her chin on her fist as she played with her straw. She hadn’t wanted to come out, but had no chance to argue with both Maxine and Franky. Maxine, of course, using the logic of needing a night off to relax after all the stress they face in their line of work. Franky on the other hand, just wouldn’t take no as an answer. 

“So, Boomer is joinin’ us in a bit,” Franky announced, looking at her phone for a message. “She just sent me a text. She should be here soon.”

Bea’s head perked up. “Oh, she is?” she asked. 

Franky chuckled. “She speaks.”

Bea shot the tattooed girl a look. “I did say I didn’t want to come out.” 

“Yes, you made that very clear,” Franky shot back with a smirk. “She’s bringing a friend, too. My new assistant.”

“You’re new assistant?” Maxine asked, raising an eyebrow. “Since when do you have an assistant?”

“Since about five hours ago,” the tattooed woman explained, smugly. “And, she’s a hottie blonde, too.”

Bea and Maxine exchanged a look. “Were there any actual qualifications?” Bea couldn’t help but ask. 

“Some,” Franky answered with a slight shrug. “She spent a few hours at the firm today. She seems very… enthusiastic,” she explained, then noticed the knowing look on both Maxine and Bea’s face. “Look, she’s from the shelter,” she explained almost defensively. “She really needs a job. I thought I’d throw her a bone.” 

“Among other things, I’m sure,” Maxine joked, which caused Franky to almost cackle. 

Bea’s head snapped up, a motion that caught Maxine’s attention right away. A blonde. From the shelter. Surely, not Allie, Bea thought to herself. 

“I actually hadn’t invited her,” Franky explained before taking a sip of her beer. “I texted Boomer to let her know I was hiring her and she suggested Allie come with her.” 

Surely not her, Bea thought once more. Melbourne was a rather large city. It could be any other blonde from the shelter. Right? 

Franky noticed Bea’s harden stare and lifted an eyebrow. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” 

Bea opened her mouth to respond, when Boomer’s voice interrupted them. “Hey, you bitches!” she almost screeched as she appeared behind Franky. 

“Hey Booms!” Maxine greeted, immediately standing to draw the other woman into a hug. 

Bea looked on, watching as the two women became reacquainted, until her eyes caught sight of a familiar blonde woman standing just behind Boomer. She felt her heart stop for a few moments, a reaction that took her by surprise. Allie’s face lit up instantaneously when she noticed Bea sitting at the table. 

Maxine turned, instantly recognizing the blonde, but also noticing the stare she was sharing with Bea. “Hi,” Maxine greeted, watching in amusement as Allie’s head slowly turned toward her, but blue eyes stayed glue on the redhead across from them for a few seconds longer. “I’m Maxine.” 

“Allie,” the blonde said with a smile, shaking Maxine’s hand. Allie’s smile widened, her eyes catching Bea’s once more. 

“I’ll be back,” Boomer explained before heading to the bar for a drink. 

“And, the redhead over here?” Allie asked as she took a seat across from Bea 

Bea knew instantly why the smile had widened and she couldn’t help but shake her head. It was an action that Maxine and Franky both caught. “Bea,” she told her with an amused smirk. 

Allie looked at her questioningly as she crossed her arms on the table top. “Bea?” she repeated. “That’s all I get? One letter?” 

Bea couldn’t stop the chuckle from escaping her lips. The sound seemed to startle both Franky and Maxine. “You get three letters,” Bea explained, taking a sip of her drink. “B. E. A.” she spelled, lifting a finger for each corresponding letter. “That’s my name.” 

Allie giggled, catching both Franky and Maxine’s attention. The pair switched their focus from Bea back to Allie. “Told you I’d eventually get it,” she reminded her with a wink, feeling victorious at finally getting the redhead’s name. 

Bea, on the other hand, felt annoyed. “You did,” Bea replied, shaking her head. The way Allie was looking at her and talking with her made Bea feel warm all over. She couldn’t hold onto her irritation for long as the blonde did nothing but smile back at her. 

Franky grew more interested in the interaction. She turned to Maxine and mouthed, ‘What the fuck?’ Maxine shook her head then pointed at Franky, sternly, the warning was clear to the tattooed woman. She didn’t want to interrupt whatever it was they were witnessing. 

“Surname?” Allie asked. 

Bea’s eyes narrowed before laughing. “Relentless.” 

Franky and Maxine exchanged another look. It was at that moment that Boomer returned with a new tray of beers, passing them out to each of them. “Who’s doin’ a shot with me later?” 

“Me,” Franky stated as she lifted her hand up. 

“Not me, love. I’m afraid I have to work tomorrow,” Maxine explained. 

“Ah hell, why not?” Allie stated as she took a hold of the beer she was offered. “Just one though, apparently I start work tomorrow.” 

Frank raised her beer in appreciation. “You’re saving my ass.” 

Allie shook her head. “You’re saving mine,” she told her with an appreciative smile. “I’ve been cut off my usual source of income,” she explained and her eyes immediately finding Bea’s from across the table. 

“Oh, and what was that?” Maxine asked.

It was an innocent enough question and in any other circumstance, Allie would give a nonchalant response. But tonight, the question made Allie freeze and think carefully over an answer. She could feel Bea’s eyes on her, watching her reluctance. 

“Oh, just odd jobs here and there,” she answered as casually as possible. “It will be a nice change to have a steady income for once.” 

The rest of the night went with casual talk. Allie learned more of her new boss and her friends. There was laughter over the stories shared between the five women. Allie noticed almost immediately there was one subject the group seemed to stay clear from. It was anything related to Bea. Any questions about family seemed to skip right over the redhead. Regardless, the blonde enjoyed herself, laughing and sharing small details of her life. All the while, her eyes gravitated to the redhead the entire time.  
The redhead was quiet, her eyes remaining on her drink that was nestled between her palms. Every so often, those beautiful eyes would lift upwards catching Allie’s stare. Of course, Allie felt no shame in her actions and was amused to find the redhead would quickly look away. It was almost like the redhead felt caught in the action of catching Allie staring. It was rather amusing to the blonde. 

A couple of hours later, Maxine and Boomer headed to the bathroom, leaving Allie with Franky and Bea. 

“So,” Franky began with a look of pure mischief on her face. Her eyes darted between the two women and she jabbed a finger outward. “How do two know each other?” 

“What do you mean?” Bea asked, leaning back in her chair. Regardless of how stoic she was, even Allie could tell that the question had caught her off guard. 

“You two met before,” she commented and her smile widened when she noticed Bea’s cheeks turn pink. Franky placed a hand over her mouth, pretending to be shocked. “Bea, don’t tell me you’ve crossed over.”

Allie watched as Bea’s head snapped up, confusion clear on her face. “What are you on about, Franky?” she asked in irritation. 

“Well, my gaydar is spinning out of control,” Franky said with a laugh as she lifted her beer towards Allie. “And, there is something goin’ on here,” she continued as she motioned between the two. “C’mon Smith, she’s cute, yah?”

Bea’s eyebrows furrowed and she shook her head in anger. “I need some air,” she grumbled before hastily pushing away from the table and disappearing in the crowded bar. 

“I’ve struck a nerve with that one,” Franky mused as she took another generous swig of her beer. 

Allie shook her head, torn between finding the entire interaction amusing and feeling disappointed at the redhead’s abrupt departure. Then curiously, she pointed to the empty chair and asked, “Are you two sisters or something?” 

“Red and me? Nah,” she answered with a casual smile and she seemed to consider how to answer for a long moment. “We just go way back. Don’t worry, I’m not competition.” 

Allie grinned, knowing she had been caught. “That obvious, huh?” 

“Like neon lights,” she joked with a chuckle before turning somber. “You’re wasting your time on that one, though,” she told her. 

“What? She’s not gay?” Allie asked as she leaned against the table to prop her head on her hand. 

“She says she’s not. I’m just not sure if I believe it,” Franky explained with a smirk. “It’s just that… Red’s been thought some shit.”

“Well, haven’t we all?” Allie asked, unable to mask her disappointment at the tattoo woman’s assessment. Franky shrugged before consenting that that was true. “Bea was the paramedic that responded to an emergency at the shelter.” 

Franky’s head snapped up before nodding. “Maxine was telling me about that call,” she commented. “Rough one. Is the girl doing okay?”

Allie shrugged. “It doesn’t sound like it,” she explained. “Bea was trying to help me figure out how to find her parents. She thought maybe something in her room at the shelter would have something.” 

Franky tilted her head, thinking it over. “Did you check the drawers?” Allie nodded. “What about under the mattress?” 

Allie straightened at that. “Really? Under the mattress?”

Franky nodded before taking another swig of beer. “Yeah, trust me. If it’s something she didn’t want to accidently see, but keep safe, it’ll be under the mattress.” 

“We’re back Ladies,” Maxine stated as she and Boomer took a seat. “Where’d Bea go?”

“Oh, she needed some air,” Franky stated.

Maxine looked over at her exasperated. “Franky, you didn’t.”

“What? I didn’t say anything,” Franky replied, defensively. 

“Oh, I’m sure you didn’t,” Maxine commented, not sounding at all convinced. Allie watched on in amusement. “You know how to push her buttons.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Franky shot back with a grin. “I’m just sitting here trying to get to know my new assistant.”

Allie half listened to the rest of the conversation, her mind elsewhere. It would be a lie to say that Franky’s words hadn’t been taken to heart. She hadn’t been too deterred at the idea that the redhead was straight. That possibility had been in the fore front of her mind since they first met. But, the notion that perhaps something so terrible had happened to Bea caused her to be unable to love had thrown her for a loop. She could tell there had been pain. The way the redhead would seemed to wander away in her own thoughts. The way her body seemed to shun away from physical touch. 

Her blue eyes darted across the bar, wondering if the redhead would return. Franky’s light teasing had obviously affected her. She thought back to the way the redhead had blushed at the implication behind Franky’s words. As she took another swig of her beer, she realized something that made her heart skip a beat. Bea hadn’t denied Allie was cute.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am soooooo sorry that this took forever for an update. I've been extremely busy. So, I tried to make this a long chapter. Enjoy the cuteness. 
> 
> Also... who's seen the teaser for Season 6??? I am so friggin excited. I just watched Season 5 again, which opened all the flood gates because of Bea's death. I still can't get over it. What is everyone hoping to see in this new season?

Chapter 10 

 

It had been almost twenty minutes before Bea returned to the table. Allie smiled when she took a place across from her. The smile turned into a massive grin when Bea’s eyes averted. The blonde glanced over at Franky who had her eyebrows raised. 

Allie mouthed ‘What?’ to which Franky only shrugged with a smirk forming instantly on her lips. 

“Did you enjoy your fresh air, Red?” Franky asked with a sly smirk. 

Bea’s head snapped up, seemingly returning to her surroundings. It was something she did, Allie observed, watching as Bea shook her head in annoyance. The redhead seemed to slip off into her own thoughts and Allie couldn’t help but wonder what it all meant. Bea seemed more like a casual observer amongst her own friends than a participant. 

“Fuck off,” Bea muttered with a chuckle. 

“Well, I must be heading off,” Maxine announced as she waved down the server to ask for a check. 

Boomer looked outraged. “What, Maxi, it’s only ten! Stay a bit longer, will ya?” 

Maxine shook her head. “We’ve got that twelve-hour shift tomorrow and I should get some sleep.” 

“Wow, twelve hours?” Allie asked, raising her eyebrows in shock. “Is that… normal?” 

“It varies,” Maxine explained, glancing over at Bea. “This one would rather work a straight 24 hours.” She motioned to the redhead, who’s eyes moved between the two of them. 

Bea straightened in her chair, looking rather uncomfortable at the sudden quip. “I do not.”

“Do to,” Franky chimed in, pointing at the redhead. “I hardly ever see you at home. Why’d you buy the place if you weren’t going to spend any time in it?”

“Well, I had to since you got us evicted from your place,” Bea retorted, trying to sound defensive, but failing as she couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Wait, you two live together?” Allie found herself asking. 

“Oh yah, for couple years now,” Franky explained. “Ever since…” the tattooed woman trailed off, seemingly remembering there was a newcomer upon them. She bit her lower lip, glancing over at the redhead nervously. 

“Don’t worry,” Bea assured her. “Allie knows about that.” 

Everyone at the table seemed to freeze suddenly. Allie glanced around, watching as all eyes turned to Bea, expressions with evident shock. Franky blinked a few times, coming back to her senses. 

“Since prison,” Franky finished, her eyebrows raised as she glanced back at the redhead. There was a silent question in her stare and Bea merely shrugged in response. 

Allie felt the mood at the table shift. Maxine busied herself by collecting money, dragging Boomer into a conversation about setting up a lunch date. Franky, however, continued to watch the redhead, an odd expression playing on her face. Allie glanced at Bea, seeing how uncomfortable she became. She shifted in her seat and Allie wondered what was transpiring before her eyes. 

“Well,” Bea finally spoke, digging into her own bag to retrieve money for her bill. “Guess, I better call it a night, too.” 

“Yeah,” Allie agreed, slowly motioning to Boomer and Maxine. “Boomer is my ride, so I best be off myself.” 

“Bright and early tomorrow, yah Novak?” Franky asked, bringing her glass up to toast her. “Saving my ass.” She downed what little remained of her beverage. 

Allie couldn’t help but smile at her new boss. “Righto.” 

They all seemed to stand at once, shuffling about to pay their bill. Then finally, Allie found herself in front of the redhead, who was trying to look anywhere but at her directly. She found it so endearing. This woman was most likely close to a decade older than her, yet when she stood in front of her, Allie was reminded of a shy teenager. 

“Bea,” she breathed, looking rather smug as she finally got to use her name. 

The redhead chuckled, shaking her head. “Relentless.” 

Allie bit her lower lip, holding back all the things she wanted to say to her. Like, how she only felt relentless when it comes to pretty women. How she thought the redhead was very beautiful. Instead, she smiled warmly and watched as Bea’s cheeks colored. 

“See ya around?” she finally asked, her eyes glancing over at Boomer, who was waving her over from across the room. 

Bea seemed to consider her answer for a long moment and Allie couldn’t be sure if it was her own form of teasing or genuine. “Yeah, okay. Sure.” 

Allie grinned, shaking her head at the redhead’s response. “Don’t sound so excited,” she replied sarcastically. 

“Oi, Goldilocks,” Boomer shouted over the noise of the bar. 

With one last longing glance that Allie hoped wasn’t overly obvious, they parted ways. Bea watched as they all shuffled out the door, her gaze returning to Franky as she returned to the table. 

“So,” Franky began, a sly smirk playing on her lips. 

Bea rolled her eyes. “What?” she asked, unable to hide her defensive tone. 

“You told her about Wentworth.” There was something in Franky’s tone that took Bea by surprise. A mixture of disbelief and delight. 

“Yeah, so?” 

“You never talk about Wentworth, Red,” Franky told her as they began to make their way out of the bar. “Like never.” 

“We talk about it all the time,” Bea pointed out, but even as she said it had realized the tattooed woman was right. She never spoke of her time behind bars. She sighed. “I didn’t tell her everything. Just that I spent some time.”

The night was on the colder side, unusual for this time of year, Bea thought. They walked down the block towards Franky’s car. The tattooed woman had left her to her thoughts. She had to admit as much as Franky enjoyed teasing her, she seemed to always know when to leave the redhead to her thoughts. 

“Can I ask something, Red?” she asked as she pulled the car out onto the road. Bea glanced over at her, nodding several times. “Have you ever considered dating since you got out?” 

Bea could have gotten whiplash for how fast she turned to regard her friend. “What?” 

“You know, dating,” Franky went on, her focus on the road. “Going out with one person. Dinner. Movie. That sort of thing.”

Bea’s eyebrows crinkled. “No,” she replied, hoping she didn’t sound as outraged as she felt. Franky meant well, she was sure. As did Maxine, the other night. She wondered briefly if her friends were becoming a little overly concerned with her life. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason, really,” Franky answered with a slight shrug. Bea could see that the tattooed woman was considering her next words carefully. “It’s just that… tonight. You and Allie. There seemed to be something there.”

It wasn’t teasing, Bea noted and Franky’s observation was an innocent one. For Franky’s standards anyway. “She’s just a friend,” she answered, steadily. “We’ve run into one another a few times.” 

“I’m not trying to tease ya,” Franky assured her. 

“I know.” 

“Even though I had before.” 

“Franky, I got it.” 

She nodded in response. “I hope you know that it’s okay, you know?” 

Bea looked over at her confused. “Okay to what?” 

Franky seemed hesitant to answer, glancing briefly at the redhead before making a turn at the next intersection. “It’s okay to move on from it all. From Debbie’s death. Wentworth. All of it. It’s okay to be happy.” 

 

The next morning… 

 

Allie had to practically sprint to keep up with the tattooed woman. The pair had met up at the local coffee shop, both picking up a cup of coffee before heading out to their first stop. “Franky,” Allie called out as they began to cross the street. “Will ya slow down?”

“Can’t,” Franky answered as they turned a corner. The tattoo woman had brought up her wrist to glance at her watch. “We only have a couple of minutes.” She lifted the sealed envelope up to Allie’s line of sight. “This needs to be served today.”

“Couple of minutes for what?”

“Robert Davidson grabs his morning paper every day at 8:45 am,” Franky told her as they stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. “He’s been avoiding this subpoena for weeks.” 

“Wait, what?” Allie exclaimed in confusion. “They can do that?” 

“Well, they aren’t supposed to,” Franky told her as she came to an abrupt stop. She turned around to face the blonde, jerking her head to the left. Allie gazed beyond Franky to the newspaper stand across the street. “Just stand there,” Franky instructed, looking down the envelope, seemingly pretending to read something. “Tell me if you see a man, about 182 centimeters tall, brown hair, 90 kilo…”

“182 centimeters? Fuck sake, Franky, how do I judge that from here?” Allie asked with a slight laugh. 

“Hush you,” Franky chastised, smacking the blonde with the folder. “Don’t draw so much attention to yourself.”

The blonde lifted her hands up in surrender. “Got it, Boss.” 

“Alright, smartarse,” Franky retorted as she shook her head. “Keep an eye out, will ya? Some tall bloke with brown hair,” she looked to right, watching as traffic moved about them.

Allie turned her face to face Franky, but kept her eyes glued to the stand. “So, is he a business suit type?”

“He works for a nearby bank, so yah,” Frank answered. 

Sounds like most of my old clientele, Allie thought to herself. The thought of her old ‘job’ made the blonde frown. She didn’t want to think of that now. Not ever again. Especially not in front of one of Bea’s longtime friend. 

Franky seemed to catch Allie’s sudden shift in mood. Her eyebrows furrowed as she studied the blonde’s posture. “What is it? Do you think you see him?” she asked, turning her head slightly to peer behind her. 

Allie seemed to come back to herself, blinking several times before letting her eyes move back to the tattooed woman. She shook her head, mentally scolding herself for becoming distracted. They stood like that for a few minutes as people walked past them. Allie kept her eyes on the busy stand, watching as people walked up, purchased their daily paper, and walked on. 

Franky grew impatient and seemed to begin checking her watch more frequently. Allie couldn’t help but glance at her own, finding they had been standing there for nearly twenty minutes. 

“Wait, wait,” Franky hissed, grabbing onto Allie’s arm and bringing her closer. 

“Franky, what the fuck!” Allie hissed before feeling the building at her back. 

Franky pushed herself against the blonde, as if to lean in and kiss her. Allie braced herself, preparing to push the tattoo woman away, when she realized that Franky’s attention was not on her. Instead, her eyes were trained on a tall man, dressed in a tailored suit, who had passed them from behind Allie. She hadn’t seen him, but Franky had. In her haste, the tattooed woman had positioned themselves to look as if they were a loving couple, enjoying an embrace.

“That him, yah?” Allie asked, turning slightly to get a look at the man, who was steadily approaching the stand. 

“Righto,” Franky answered before shoving the folder into the blonde’s hands. “You got this?” 

Allie slowly took the folder, glancing at Franky once more before nodding once. “I think so.” 

“Remember, you have to get him to acknowledge who is he. Then you have to tell him he’s being served,” Franky told her as she pushed the blonde forward. “Give him the envelope and leave. Avoid confrontation.” 

Allie crossed the street and began to sprint as she realized the man was next in line. She came to stop, listening to the man greet the stand clerk. She gave a nod to the clerk and walked off, following the man as he made his way down the block. They came to a stop at a crosswalk, waiting for the pedestrian sign to flash the okay to cross. 

Allie glanced over at the taller man, catching his gaze instantly. She clutched at the envelope that she hid from his view. Flashing a large smile, she winked at him. 

The man seemed taken back by the gesture, but smiled none the less. It was just like strolling for clients, Allie realized and almost laughed. She continued to lock eyes with the man. 

“Nice day, yah?” she ventured just before the light changed, granting them permission to continue. “Heading to work?” 

“Yeah,” the man answered, curtly. 

Allie continued through, hoping that her smiles and voice didn’t seem too eager. Anyone who knew her well could probably tell she was pretending to be nice. She hoped the man wasn’t too intuitive to look through her façade.

He wasn’t.

“How about you?” he asked, his voice softening. 

“Oh, yah, after I stop at the bank, actually,” she explained and her mind began to conjure as much as she could to keep the conversation going. Get a name, she told herself. “Where do you work?” 

They were strolling down the street, Allie close to his side, hoping that it seemed as if they were going in the same direction. Instead of the obvious way she was following him. She was confident that the man didn’t seem to notice. 

“Oh, I’m an investment banker,” he answered and Allie fought back the urge to roll her eyes at how smug he sounded. 

“Well, well,” she almost cooed. “That sounds very impressive.”

They came to a stop at another crosswalk. Foot traffic seemed to pick up and Allie worried that if she didn’t finish this soon, she may lose the guy in the crowds. The man seemed content to begin gloating over his occupation and began to explain the basics of what he did. Allie made sounds of acknowledgements at the appropriate times. 

“Do you have a business card?” she asked, hoping the man would take the bait. “You know, if I ever need investing,” she suggested letting her voice drop an octave lower. 

The man pondered that for a moment before reaching into the pocket inside his jacket. He pulled out a card, handing over to Allie. “Call me. Whenever.” He instructed and the intention was very clear. 

She was amused by how easy it was to pull the man’s strings. The blonde took a hold of the business card, glancing at the name before looking back at him. “Robert Davidson?” 

The man had already begun to walk away from Allie, having decided to part ways. Having heard his name, he turned back to her. “Yes?” he answered. 

Allie lifted the envelope that had been glued to her side, out of sight from Robert during the entire conversation. Seeing the envelope was being handed to him, Robert reached out to grab it. “You’ve been served,” Allie told him as soon as his fingers touched it. Without preamble, Allie let go and began to walk away. 

She took big steps, hoping to put as much distance as she could between them. Franky had never mentioned what to do if whomever they served refused to take the subpoena or began irate. She knew how to handle most clients in her past, but even so, there were many times she came out with bumps and bruises. She hoped she wouldn’t have to expect the same whilst serving. 

The blonde stiffened when she felt a hand at her arm, pulling her back. She lifted a fist as her body turned, ready to defend herself from the man or whoever else. Franky jumped back, noticing the pose Allie had taken. With a sigh of relief, Allie let her fist fall. 

“Whoa,” Franky exclaimed as she lifted her palms out. “Little jumpy there, eh?”

Allie shook her head nervously as laughter began to overtake her. “Sorry, I thought you were him.” 

They shared a laugh, Allie’s seemingly in nervousness and Franky out of pure amusement. The tattooed woman went on to praise Allie’s first attempt at serving a subpoena. The man, apparently, was in such state of confusion, had stood at the crosswalk for ten minutes before throwing the papers to the ground and cursing. 

“Although, next time,” Franky began as she wrapped an arm around her new friend’s shoulders. “All ya gotta do is call out their name and see if they answer.”

Allie rolled her eyes. “Dickhead,” she spoke, before clamping a hand over her mouth. “Sorry, you’re my boss, technically. I shouldn’t be speaking to you that way.” 

Franky let out another amusement chuckle. “No worries. I really should have told ya that to begin with.”

 

Later that night… 

 

Bea sighed heavily as she turned the key and opened the door to her house. It had been a long shift and she was just happy to have it be done with. The shift started at nine in the morning and went on until nine. She couldn’t wait to climb back into bed, under the safety of the covers. 

“Hey Franky!” she called out as she closed the door behind her. She threw her bag to the floor and walked further into the home. She ran a hand through her curls as she craned her neck, trying to loosen the stiffness she felt. She wandered down the hallway, passing by the kitchen towards the stairs. 

“Well hi there,” a familiar voice greeted, causing Bee to stop in her tracks. 

She turned, peering into the kitchen to find Allie sitting on a stool at the kitchen benchtop. She looked like she was at home, casually eating a full plate of noodles. There were opened takeaway cartons all over the counter. Another plate of food was sitting at the place just across from her. The redhead glanced around, looking but not seeing Franky anywhere. 

“What…”

“Franky’s upstairs,” Allie explained before motioning to the food. “We brought Chinese. Care for some?” 

“Umm,” Bea shuffled her weight from foot to food, feeling her cheeks begin to burn. A new feeling began to take fold in the pit of her stomach. Anger? She big her lower lip, hesitantly taking a few steps to fully enter the kitchen. “I don’t want to intrude,” she told the blonde before motioning to the refrigerator. “I’m just going to grab a bottle of water and I’ll be out of your guy’s way.

“Out of our way?” Allie asked, watching as the redhead crossed the kitchen. 

Bea could feel those eyes on her as she opened the refrigerator to retrieve a bottle. The blonde looked slightly confused, a fact that was lost on Bea as she still trying to determine the odd emotion she suddenly felt had begun to swallow her up. It felt close to anger, she decided, but not the anger she normally felt. That same red-hot anger that led her to beat her husband nearly to death. Or the red-hot rage that landed her in the slot whilst in Wentworth for bashing a fellow inmate or two. No, this was different. She gave a small smile, before dropping her gaze as she walked past the blonde on her way out. 

“Hey, hey,” Allie called out as Bea retreated. She dropped her fork and shot up. “You don’t have to go anywhere.”

Bea stopped at the doorway, half turning to look back at her. “Yes, I do,” she answered. “Franky and I have a deal. If she ever brings a girl home, I leave.” 

Allie’s eyes furrowed before she realized where Bea’s train of thought had gone. “Oh, you think – oh god, no!” she exclaimed, shaking her head several times. “We’re going over some work stuff.” 

A sudden wave of relief caught Bea by surprise. Relief from an emotion that she still hadn’t quite figured out. 

“Oh,” was all Bea could manage. 

Allie motioned to the paperwork that Bea hadn’t noticed prior. “Yeah, there is so much I’m expected to learn,” she explained with a chuckle. “The lesson went over, so we decided to get dinner and go over the rest here.” 

“Oh, right. Today was your first day on the job.” 

Allie nodded, smiling brightly. “Yeah, it was.” 

Bea took several more steps closer, her hands nervously playing with the plastic label of the water bottle. “H-how did it go?”

There was something about the way Allie smiled that made Bea forget to breath just for a moment. And as she spoke, recounting her first day, Bea had found herself taking more steps closer. Until finally, Allie sat back down and Bea joined her, taking the seat across from her. 

“Are you sure you don’t want some?” Allie asked as she took another bite. 

Bea shook her head. “Maxi and I grabbed a bite just before shift end.” 

“I met her last night, yeah?” Bea nodded. “She was such a sweetheart. How long have you guys worked together?”

“About a year now,” Bea answered. “Since I started as a paramedic after…” she trailed off, not wanting to steer the conversation into that direction. The past was too bleak to dive into just at that moment. Or ever. 

Allie tilted her head, watching as Bea’s gaze fell downwards. “How was your day?” she asked, hoping the question would bring Bea out of her momentary daze. 

Bea’s head snapped up. “Oh, good. The same as always, I suppose.”

“Save any lives?” 

Bea opened her mouth to respond before shaking her head. “I’d rather not talk about work, actually.” Allie conceded with a nod. “Where’d Franky go?”

“Took a call,” she answered in between bites of noodles. “Said something about a girl calling her back and ran upstairs.”

Bea wondered what that had meant. Franky hadn’t mentioned of any girl, not that she paid much attention to what Franky said in general. Clearing her throat, she sat straighter. “So, how’s your friend?”

“Dunno, actually,” Allie answered. “Reckon I should go check on her otherwise I won’t be able to show my face back at the shelter.”

“Why?” Bea found herself asking. 

“Well, this very good friend of mine, actually more of a mum to me in a way. She’s pretty pissed at me,” she explained, pausing to take a sip of her beer. “I stuffed it up with my last hit. So, to teach me a lesson, she put me in charge of Nikki.” 

“You haven’t since…” 

Allie’s bright blue eyes locked with Bea’s and the redhead felt her heart begin to beat faster. “I haven’t,” she answered, her tone serious. “I promise.”

“That’s good,” Bea commented as she took a long drink of water. “That’s bit of an odd lesson, don’t you think?” 

Allie shrugged. “She figures she can scare me out of using, I suppose.”

The conversation seemed to stall and Allie returned to eating her dinner. “Hey, I’m sorry,” Bea finally said, hesitantly. “About before.” Allie looked up, her eyebrow crinkling in confusion. “You know, assuming that you and Franky were…”

“Oh no! Don’t worry about it!”

“I don’t even know if you are...” she trailed off, unsure of how to word her thoughts. 

Allie smiled lightly. “It’s an easy assumption to make.” 

“Franky has always been like that,” Bea explained, her eyebrows raising slightly. “Ever since we met in Wentworth.”

“I gathered as much. She did try to hit on me when we first met,” Allie explained with a laugh. “Well, after she hired me.”

Bea couldn’t help but join in the laughter. It was short as Bea suddenly became nostalgic. As terrible it was that she spent time behind bars, it was the only time in her life she truly felt free. In a sense. She found friends, who slowly became family. Franky included, which had surprised her given how they started off. Bea blinked several times, suddenly realizing that she had been lost in thought. Allie hadn’t appeared put off by it and merely smiled when their gazes met again. 

“Sorry,” she muttered and Allie shook her head, indicating that it was fine. “Franky actually done the same to me when we first met,” she told her. “Right after the introductions, she invited me back to her cell.” 

“No!” Allie’s eyes went wide with amusement then narrowed in suspicion. “And, did you…?”

Bea became outraged at the assumption. “What? No!” Then they joined in laughter, realizing they had been in the same situation with a certain tattooed woman. “Ahh, she means well though,” Bea asserted and she reached around to take the takeaway carton. Allie watched, a small smile playing on her lips, as the redhead became slowly comfortable in her presence. So much so, that she began to eat. “She’s been one of my best mates, actually. Despite us almost killing each other a few times while incarcerated.”

“Really?” she asked in amusement. “Like actual fighting? Fists and all?”

Bea nodded, unsure how the answer would be received. She had no reason to be worried because a moment later, Allie began to laugh, placing a hand on her chest as she did so. Bea went on for a few minutes, explaining the ins and outs of prison politics. Finally, the conversation died down again and Allie pursed her lips. 

“I am, you know,” she finally said after a moment of consideration. 

“What?” 

“Gay,” Allie stated, looking down. 

“Oh.” Bea was taken back by the sudden revelation, wondering if there had been something that made Allie feel like she had to be upfront about her sexuality. “I don’t have a problem with that,” she assured her.

“I didn’t think you would,” Allie told her. “Earlier, you were saying you weren’t sure if I was,” she trailed off when Bea began to nod. “I just wanted to… clear the air.”

“Air cleared,” Bea assured her, letting a small smile play on her lips. 

Allie couldn’t help but grin and Bea felt her heartbeat race at the stare she was receiving. There was something about the way Allie looked at her. Sometimes her eyes would drop lower, sometimes they would lock with her own, holding her there until Bea felt compelled to look away. 

“Allie,” Franky’s voice echoed from the hallway, and the pair broke apart, turning just as the tattooed woman appeared in the door way, her face glued to her phone. “I’ve sorted it all out and I ca-“ 

Franky stopped when her gaze fell on the pair. Allie had continued to eat while Bea froze, her fork halfway to her mouth. A sly smile formed on the tattooed woman’s face and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, well, am I interrupting anything?” 

Allie watched as Bea seemed to slink back behind invisible walls. She sent a disapproving glance over to Franky. “Just chatting,” Allie answered, her eyes darting back to Bea, who set her fork down. 

“I should be heading up,” Bea told them, placing the takeaway box back down. “Leave you to work.”

“Righto,” Allie replied, trying to hide her disappointment. 

“Have a good night, Red,” Franky told her as she passed by. 

“You really have the worse timing,” Allie hissed when Franky sat back down across from her. 

“What?” she asked in defense, her gaze looking back to the hallway before returning to the blonde. “What happened while I was gone?” 

Allie shook her head. “Nothing. So, what was with that call?” 

“Oh, long story,” Franky said dismissively as she began to eat again. “Let’s over a few more things before calling it a night.”

“Sure.” 

“First off, you got a mobile?” Franky asked, as she pulled the papers closer to her. 

Allie shook her head, feeling slightly embarrassed by the reason for it. It wasn’t that long ago that she woke up on that park bench after a long night that she still couldn’t remember. Stop it, she mentally scolded herself. It’s over. Done with. Time to move forward. 

“Righto. Well, we can get the firm to cover the first month’s bill for a new one,” she explained. “It’s sort of required for the type of work you are going to be doing. So, I’m sure I can push that through and get you one tomorrow.”

Allie blinked several times. “Wow. Alright, thank you,” she replied in disbelief. 

“No thanks. You’ll be paying for it once regular payroll comes through,” she pointed out, but Allie didn’t mind. She hadn’t figured out when and how she would get a new mobile phone any time soon. Kaz had helped her the last few times she lost one and after their last spat, she reckoned asking for another wouldn’t go over too well. 

“I really appreciate this, Franky,” Allie told her, putting her fork down and fighting back onslaught of tears that begun to sting her eyes. 

“No wuckers,” she responded, offhandedly, her focus on the paperwork before her.

“No, Franky,” the blonde said more sternly, causing Franky to gaze up at her. “I really mean it. I’ve been in a bad spot the last few weeks. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with myself. Living at the shelter, it’s just, you find yourself on a spin cycle,” she paused, taking a moment to regain her composure. “I always found myself right back where I started and I ju-“

“Hey, hey, hey,” Franky cut her off, shooting her hand across the table and place on top of the blonde’s. “Seriously, it’s not that big of a deal.” 

“It is,” she asserted, looking away from her. “When Bea found me at the shelter, I was not in a good place. At all. And, days later, Boomer tells me about this job and I just feel like, this could be a turning point for me. It has to be.”

Franky took a moment to take in what she was being told. “You know, Bea was always about second chances back in Wentworth,” she explained. “Even with me. It was all she was about. Taking what was left of your life and turning it into a better one.”

Allie laughed. “Well, this would be like my fifth or sixth chance,” she joked. “I just keep fucking it up is all.” 

The tattoo woman watched her with sadness. “I know what that’s like,” she assured her. “Bea, too. Hell, even Maxi and Boomer. We’ve all been in a similar spot at one point or another. You got this.” 

Allie nodded, recollecting herself before they dove back into their work. All the while, a certain redhead did not stray too far from her thoughts.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone interested in following my boring life on Instagram, @schillmel. ;) I've discovered this whole new world on there.
> 
> Enjoy the latest chapter. I feel bad, we are already 11 chapters in and still don't even have at least a kiss. It's coming, I promise. I've already written the scene. I just need to fit it somewhere. I hope everyone is just as patient as Allie. ;)

Chapter 11

Bea laid in her bed, her arms crossed behind her head. She barely got any sleep, only dozing off for an hour or two at a time. Her mind raced, all thoughts consumed by a certain blonde girl she had stumbled upon in her own kitchen. It made her toss and turn most of the night. 

“I am, you know,” her voice echoed in her head. “Gay.” 

Why did she feel the need to tell me that? She asked herself for the hundredth time since retiring to bed. Had she said something that made her feel such a declaration was needed? Had she offended her? 

Sighing, she glanced over at the clock. It was only seven o’clock in the morning. Her next shift wasn’t until three. Deciding to venture out of her room for some breakfast, she rolled out of bed. She was half way down the stairs, tying her robe, when she caught sight of a pile of blankets on the couch. 

She paused. She tilted her head in confusion. Franky’s bedroom was on the first floor. They had converted the second lounge into a bedroom, allowing the pair to have more space within the small house. Typically, Franky did not fall asleep on the sofa. 

Carefully, she made her way to the bottom of the stairs and wandered further into the room. She crossed her arms when her eyes fell upon Allie’s sleeping form. Her blonde hair fanned out all over the pillow, her arm hung over the edge of the sofa. She looked peaceful, despite the position she was in not being the most comfortable one. 

She shook her head, moving away slowly to enter the kitchen, where she found Franky. The tattooed woman was going about her morning routine, making coffee and breakfast. 

“Hey Red,” she greeted with a smile. 

“What the hell?” 

Franky lifted an eyebrow as she scrapped scrambled eggs off the pan and onto a plate. “Everything alright?” 

“Why is it that I keep coming across Allie in my home?” she asked, jabbing her thumb behind her. 

“What’s the problem, Red?” Franky asked, trying to sound innocent. Her eyes narrowed. “What happened last night? I walked in on something, I can tell.” 

Bea scoffed. “Nothing happened.” The accusation confused the redhead. It was the truth, there had been nothing going on. 

Franky opened her mouth to reply, only to shut it with a shake of her head. Whatever she had wanted to say, she thought better of it. “She just needed to crash here last night,” she explained as she set a plate on the countertop. 

Bea took a seat in front of the plate, watching as Franky went about cooking a second helping of scrambled eggs. She was bothered by this, but couldn’t figure out why. She grabbed the fork and began to poke at the eggs, vaguely aware of Franky watching her. 

“I actually wanted to run something by you,” Franky spoke after a long moment, waiting until Bea lifted her gaze back to her. The tattooed woman took a moment, leaning slightly to see if their visitor was near. “I want Novak to move in with us.”

Bea cough, choking on the eggs she had been in the middle of masticating. Franky jumped out of the way as food began to spray in her direction. “What did you say?” Bea asked, when she composed herself. 

Franky raised an eyebrow, moving backwards to reach into the cupboards for a glass. She remained silent, her gaze glued on the redhead as she filled the glass and handing it to her. Bea felt her cheeks burn as her mind caught up to process her reaction. 

“I want her to move in with us,” she repeated. 

Bea watched the tattooed woman scrap the next helping of eggs onto the plate. “Why?” 

“We were talking last night,” she explained, setting the plate down on the counter. “I think it would be good for her to get out of the women’s shelter, ya know?” 

Bea’s brow crinkled in confusion as her mind tried to process what her friend was suggesting. It bothered her. Like so much related to Allie seemed to bother her. “We can’t take in strays, Franky,” Bea told her after a long moment. 

“Bullshit,” Franky retorted with a wave of her hand. “You were a stray and I took you in. Then I was a stray and you took me in.” 

“But that was different,” Bea insisted. “You and I knew each other for years. We only just met Allie less than a few weeks ago.” 

“And, she seems like a decent sort to me.”

“She’s a drug addict, Franky,” Bea told her, before instantly feeling awful for resorting to such an excuse. She closed her eyes for a moment with regret. 

“C’mon Red,” Franky hissed, her expression darkening slightly. “That’s so unlike you to judge someone for that reason.” 

“I know. I know,” Bea agreed as she rubbed her brows. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just…” 

Franky’s eyes darted to the doorway. “Morning,” she greeted, causing Bea’s head to snap around. 

Allie stood in the doorway, her hair mussed from sleep. Her dark blue eyes instantly finding Bea’s. She seemed half awake, leaving Bea to wonder how long she was standing there and if she had heard their conversation. 

“What’s goin’ on?” she asked as she strode across the kitchen to stand behind the chair next to Bea. Her piercing blue eyes glancing between the two women. 

Bea felt her skin heat up and she involuntarily tensed. A strange sensation that always seemed to hit her when she was around the blonde. She kept her eyes down on her meal. 

“Just cookin’ some eggs,” Franky explained with a smirk. “Care for some?”

Allie had heard a portion of the conversation. Having awoken to their voices only minutes before. She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop as she was still half asleep as she walked through the hallway. Her foggy mind had cleared when she had heard the word ‘drug addict’. She could tell in the redhead’s voice that she had regretted the words. Allie didn’t take offense, really, since was true. 

She watched as the redhead seemed to withdraw into herself. She had been so relaxed and open in Franky’s presence, until the blonde had entered the room. It was perplexing to be sure. She wondered if the introvert nature Bea displayed was due to her time spent behind bars or some awful or devastating experience. 

“Yeah, sure,” she answered with a bright smile as she pulled the chair out. 

Franky fixed the blonde up a plate, unable to stop the smile on her lips. She watched the interaction between the pair as discreetly as possible. She had to fight back a laugh when she noticed the expression on the redhead’s face as Allie took a seat. She looks so freaked, she thought to herself. 

“Thank you,” Allie said as the plate as placed in front of her. “Homemade eggs. Lucky me.” 

Bea couldn’t stop the smile as Allie winked at her. She was reminded instantly of their conversation at the cafeteria the other day. Franky glanced between the two with an amused smile. Placing the pan into the sink, she excused herself, claiming she had needed to shower before work. Bea kept her gaze on her plate, aware of the occasional glances the blonde was throwing her way. She peered over, catching Allie’s gaze instantly. Her cheeks colored at the coy smile she was receiving. 

“So, you have work today, yeah?” Bea spoke, still unable to bring herself to look at the blonde.

Allie nodded. “Um, yeah, for a few hours later,” she answered. “Franky’s gonna drop me off at the shelter so I can shower and change first.”

“How do you like it? Work, I mean. The firm.” 

“It’s good,” she answered, enjoying the easy conversation they had fallen into. “There’s so much information to learn, of course. I can’t believe how much Franky had to learn to get into this.”

“Yeah,” Bea agreed, remembering all the late nights the tattooed woman spent in Wentworth just reading over law cases and text books. “She worked hard to get where she is.” 

Allie smiled. “Same as you, I reckon.” Bea looked up in surprise by the comment causing Allie to shrug. “Just that, all the medical terminology and procedures that you had to learn,” she elaborated. 

The redhead recalled her own time spent studying while behind bars. Just as Franky had chosen a topic of interest, Bea found herself immersed in all things medical. Her counsellor at the time had thought it would be a good idea for Bea to work towards something. Anything. 

They sat in a comfortable silence after that. Every so often, Bea glanced over, catching Allie staring back at her. The blonde would smile, unabashed at being caught and even seeming to revel in it. Her dark blue eyes traced over Bea’s face, making the redhead pause with her food. 

“Do I have something on my face?” she asked after a moment when Allie didn’t look away. 

“Nope,” the blonde answered with a shake of her head. 

Why is she staring at me like that? Bea thought, finally tearing her gaze away and continuing her meal. The blonde was certainly perplexing and for a moment she wondered if the drugs she had taken did something permanent to her. 

“Oi Red,” Franky yelled from the other room. “Can you take Allie back to the shelter for me?” 

“Oh, that’s not necessary,” Allie told Bea before she had a chance to reply. “I can just take the bus or something.” 

“Nah, Red can take ya,” Franky insisted as she entered the kitchen with a towel over her wet hair. Bea turned in her chair to glare at her friend, an action that did not go unnoticed by both Allie and Franky. “You don’t mind, do ya, Red?” 

Bea rolled her eyes, feeling as if she were being set up. And, judging by the way Franky was raking her tongue over her front teeth, she had good reason to think that. She glanced back at Allie, who raised her eyebrows in anticipation for her response. 

“Yeah. I mean, no, I don’t mind,” she replied, then motioned to the empty dish in front of her. “Go on and get ready. I can clean up.”

Allie opened her mouth to protest, but Bea had already gotten up and collected the dishes. “I’ll just be a second,” she relented as she stood. 

“What the hell Franky?” Bea hissed as soon as the blonde had left the room. 

“Geez, Red, what’s up your arse?” 

“I know what you’re trying to do.” 

“Who me?” Franky asked, pointing to herself before glancing around the kitchen. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re hoping that if I spend more time with her, then I’ll change my mind,” Bea explained as she began to scrub the dirty dish in her hand. “Say yes to letting her move in.”

Franky let out of loud laugh. “Is that what you think my alternative motive is, Red?” 

Bea felt her cheeks burn at the teasing. “Well, then why are you doing this?”

Franky glanced at the doorway, a giant smile on her lips. Bea knew that smile and she felt slightly foolish for thinking Franky’s motives had anything to do with her. “Who’s the girl then?” she asked with a sigh as she wiped her hands on the towel. 

“Westfall,” Franky answered, her smile growing. 

Bea made a face, the name instantly jogging her memory. “The prison counselor?” 

Franky nodded. “We ran into each other the other night,” she explained. “She recognized me from Wentworth. We chatted and I passed my number. I didn’t think she’d call me.”

“So, the phone call last night,” Bea spoke, remembering how Allie was left alone in the kitchen when she arrived. Bea took in Franky’s entire demeanor. She looked so happy, almost youthful at the prospect of love. She didn’t think she’d ever seen the tattooed woman like this. And, she had been with her fair share of women. Both behind bars and out. 

Franky produced her mobile from her pocket, toying with it before lifting it up to Bea’s line of sight. “She sent me a message. Wants to meet for coffee in an hour.”

Bea sighed. “So, you’re pawning Allie off on me then?” 

Franky didn’t respond, merely lifted her eyebrows suggestively before turning to leave. She passed Allie in the hallway. The tattooed woman waggled her eyebrows and Allie shook her head. They left the house shortly after Bea finished the dishes. Allie trying, however unsuccessfully, to keep her eyes off the redhead as she drove. 

The redhead was sitting straight as could be, both hands tightly on the stirring wheel. Allie leaned more to face Bea, her arm leaning against the door as she rested her chin against her hand. “You don’t like me very much, do ya Bea?”

Bea glanced at her, suddenly looking like a deer caught in headlights. Allie found it rather amusing. “That’s not true,” she replied after a short pause. 

“I make you uncomfortable.” Allie continued, watching as Bea opened her mouth to respond, only to shut it. “Why do I make you uncomfortable?”

Bea laughed, unable to hide the nervousness she suddenly felt. “I never said you made me uncomfortable.”

Allie lifted an eyebrow. “You never said I didn’t either.” The blonde smiled when Bea turned to look at her. “Come on, if we are going to be friends, Bea, we need total honesty.” 

“We’re not friends,” Bea insisted once more, however there was no force behind the words. Allie wondered if the redhead was trying to convince herself more than her. 

“Because you don’t like me,” Allie said and by the tone, Bea could tell she was being teased. 

She shook her head and she was happy to see they had arrived at the women’s shelter. “You never let up,” she muttered under her breath. She pulled the car up to the curb. “Well here we are.”

Allie didn’t waver, merely continued to look at Bea with a slightly amused expression. Bea felt odd under her stare. Her palms were clammy and she could feel fluttering in her stomach. The redhead could never remember a time feeling like this when in the presence of another person. It wasn’t a bad feeling, she decided, just different. As the blonde climbed out of the car, Bea took a moment to compose herself, hoping that the blonde didn’t notice how flustered she became. Then, Allie turned, leaning into the car to thank her for the ride and Bea felt a different set of emotions run through her. It had been an accident to be sure. The blonde’s cleavage was in her line of sight, thanks to that low-cut shirt and given the angle that she was in. 

She felt a warmth travel from her stomach, up her spine, and to her surprise, downwards below her waist. She swallowed hard as she tried to keep her gaze forward, wondering if Allie had caught where her eyes had wandered to. Chancing a peek, she was sure she had, judging by the sly smirk. She took a shaky breath as her heart began to pound a mile a minute. She nodded curtly when the blonde thanked her before bidding her goodbye. Then Bea was once again left to her thoughts. 

Along with this odd feeling. 

The feeling seemed to stick with her long after Allie had hopped out of her car. It made her mind race the entire ride back to the house. Her heart continued to pound as she found solace back under the covers of her bed. She felt energized and she was sure that sleep wouldn’t come to her. She laid back against the mattress, her mind replaying the events of the prior night as well as the morning. 

Why does she stare at me like that? She asked herself again. It’s so fucking weird. And, why am I feeling like this? 

It continued like that, her mind unable to shake the mental image of the blonde. Even leading into her shift, she could still remember the way her heart raced and how her throat went dry when Allie leaned into the car, grinning at the redhead. 

Bea was relieved that her shift was slower than normal. She hated feeling like her mind wasn’t totally on her work. People that called triple zero depended on their services. Depended on them to keep them safe. Keep them alive. 

Maxine could obviously sense the redhead’s dilemma and took pity on her. She took point on the few calls they had and drove the rig, leaving Bea to her thoughts. A few hours into their shift, Maxine drove the rig to a parking lot of a shopping center. They came here often when they had downtime. Maxine decided to take advantage of the free time by reading her book and Bea decided to take a shot at the crossword she had brought along. However, with her mind so full of thoughts of a certain blonde beauty, she found herself unable to concentrate on the clues. She sat with the newspaper in her lap, tapping it every so often with a pen, while her gaze was firmly out the window.

Maxine glanced over every so often, and after a long while, she placed the book down. “What’s on your mind, Bea?” 

“What?” The redhead shook her head, coming out of her thoughts to look over at her partner. 

“I said, what’s on your mind?” she asked again. 

“What makes you think anything’s on my mind?” Bea glanced at the book in the taller woman’s hand. It was a romance novel, a genre of books that Bea could never understand the appeal of. In her opinion, most were borderline erotic. “Why do you read those?” she found herself asking before Maxine could reply. She knew if Maxine pushed enough, the redhead would give in and talk about what was bothering her. And, she didn’t want to. Not yet, anyway, because she wasn’t sure herself of what it was that was troubling her. 

Maxine looked down at the book. “This?” Bea nodded. “Well, it’s kinda like an escape, I suppose. Living vicariously through the characters.” 

Bea nodded, thinking over the taller woman’s answer carefully. She didn’t think she ever read a book like that. Truth be told, she was ignorant in all things in that area. Having married so young, spending most of her twenties feeling like a prisoner, then becoming an actual prisoner at Wentworth had left little room for… that. 

“It’s a good book,” Maxine went on, closing the book slightly so Bea could read the cover. “You should give it a go.” 

Bea shook her head, instantly rejecting the idea. “No, I don’t think that’s for me.” 

“It’s all rather lovely, I think,” Maxine said with a smile, as she scanned the back of the book, seemingly reading over the synopsis on of the story printed there. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Love,” she answered, a dreamy look on her face. “All the good feelings that come with it.”

“I wouldn’t know anything about that,” she commented, with a shrug. 

“Really?” Maxine asked, unconvinced by the redhead’s admission. “You’ve never been in love? Or at least had a crush on someone?” 

Of course, Maxine knew all about her history with her abusive husband. The question wasn’t uncalled for, nor could Bea blame her for being curious. She had been divorced for several years now. Any normal person would have at least dated by now. Not Bea.  
Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, Bea shifted in her seat. The conversation took a turn into uncharted waters. Of course, it had been her own fault for commenting on the book. She shook her head. “I can’t say that I have,” she admitted. 

“Oh Bea,” Maxine began, affectionately, before she placed a hand on her knee. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, no,” Bea began, forcing herself to smile. “You didn’t. I just…” She took a heavy breath, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. Hell if she knew. “What does it feel like?” she found herself asking, unable to meet her partner’s curious gaze. 

Maxine sat back in her seat to study the redhead. There was something clearly bothering her. Bea had always been lost in her head. Maxine wondered if the redhead even was aware of just how often that it happened. However, in the last few couple of weeks, Maxine could almost see the cogs turning in her partner’s head. Maxine knew it would only be a matter of time before the redhead broke and turned to someone for advice. 

“I can’t speak for everyone,” Maxine said at last, smiling kindly when Bea looked over at her. “I’d gather that when you find yourself in that orbit. That wonderful orbit where the person you fall for is the center, you’ll get a whole mess of feelings. When you find your heart racing uncontrollably and you can feel nothing else but this indescribable pull towards this person,” she paused, watching Bea to gauge her reaction. 

Bea gave a curt nod, unsure of how to respond. She glanced up at Maxine, hesitantly, returning her smile. She was saved from needing to continue the conversation as the dispatcher paged through on the radio, relaying the details of their next call. The second half of their shift picked up after that, not leaving Bea with much time to dwell on what Maxine had described.

Bea returned home just before four in the morning, exhausted both mentality and physically. Entering the house, she carefully closed the front door, mindful of her housemate. She rolled her neck, trying to ease the stiffness she felt. In the quiet of the house, she let herself think back to her conversation with Maxine. 

Am I orbiting? She wondered, her mind instantly returning to the blonde girl. Bea shook her head, walking towards the stairs. She just needed to stop thinking, she decided.

She made it up two steps when she noticed something in her peripheral vision. Turning, she fought back a groan when her mind registered what she was seeing. Allie fast asleep on her couch. Again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for their kind words. Knowing that people are enjoying the chapters that I am writing, really brings me joy. It's why I like to write. 
> 
> Is everyone ready for season 6??? I am so excited and so sad that I am in the states, it's going to be a longer wait for me. :( They have been posting promotional videos on Instagram for weeks now, and it looks soooo good! I am so curious on what's going to happen with Allie, though. 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter everyone! We are starting to get into a bigger piece of the story.

Chapter 12

 

“Shit,” Allie cursed as she wiped the blood that was running down from her nose with a tissue. She leaned over the sink, angling her face to get a better look at the damage. 

It had been a few hours since Bea had dropped her off. Walking past Nicky’s room on the way to her own, she stopped, remembering Franky’s suggestion from the other night. She had been too preoccupied the last few days, she had never gotten around to checking under the mattress. She was still hopeful that she could somehow track down Nicky’s family. Maybe the clue she needed to find them would be under there. She had been in the room for all of five minutes before a voice shouted behind her. She had barely turned around when she felt a blow against her cheek. It had been a blur after that and the next thing she remembered was Boomer pushing the woman away from her. 

“Fuck,” she cursed against, throwing the soiled tissue in the trash before grabbing a new one. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Boomer asked, hesitantly as she lingered in the doorway behind her. 

Allie met Boomer’s gaze in the window. “I’ll live,” she assured her, throwing out the soil tissue and replacing it again. She dabbed her nose, sighing in relief when she found that bleeding had stopped. 

“Should I call Kaz or something?” 

She hadn’t seen or heard from Kaz since the day Nicky had overdosed. The day she met Bea. She doubted that Kaz had calmed down enough to be approached yet. The women who had jumped her were looking for Nicky. Anything involving Nicky would likely set the older blonde off again. “No,” she said after a long moment. “Best not involve her. She’ll just think it’s all my fault somehow.”

“Why would she think that?” Boomer asked, confused. 

Allie sighed, throwing the last of the tissue away before turning to her. “Because, it’s Kaz,” she answered as if that were reason enough. She sighed again. Boomer didn’t know Kaz like she did. If Kaz hadn’t come looking for her in the last week, then it meant that the older blonde was still quite upset with her. She moved away from the sink, instantly placing a hand on her ribs when she felt pain radiating up and down her side. “Fuck.” 

“Maybe I should take you to the hospital,” Boomer suggested as she walked further into the bathroom. 

Allie held up a hand. “No, I’ll be good. I gotta get to work.” 

She didn’t give Boomer time to respond as she walked past her on the way out. Everything hurt as she walked. She made it back to her room and immediately closed the door behind her. It was just her luck that she had been in Nicky’s room when she had been. Just her luck that Nicky had ripped those women off their gear. The same gear that she must have overdosed on. Allie looked around her room, feeling suddenly hesitant about being at the shelter. For the first time, she felt unsafe at the one place she had always considered home. She ran a hand over her face before glancing at the desk where she left the photograph. 

It was upside down, the white back marred with bloody stains staring back at her. Franky was right. Nicky had hidden something under her mattress. Just a single polaroid. Allie hadn’t looked at it, having been jumped just as her hand pulled it out. Walking across the small room, she picked up the polaroid and slowly turned it over. The image staring back at her made her blood run cold. Sinking into the chair, she ran a hand over her face. 

What were the chances of that? She thought to herself. Shaking her head, she moved from the chair to the floor to reach beneath her bed for her rucksack. She moved about the room, grabbing her clothes and the few items that were hers. Despite the sudden need for urgency, the task took much longer due to her injuries.

She wasn’t sure where she’d go. But, she couldn’t stay at the shelter knowing that those women were hanging about. She couldn’t even be sure if they were tenants or just passing through. Allie couldn’t recall seeing them prior to their unfortunate meeting. Perhaps, Nicky had ripped them off while out on the streets and they had happened to trace her back to here. 

Glancing at the photograph once more, she wondered how Nicky came to live at the shelter. She didn’t make it a habit to ask the women that. Even the ones that she helped connect with potential employers through Kaz. Tucking the photo into her rucksack, she pulled her hoodie up over her face before leaving the room. 

 

Allie thought over possible excuses she could slip to Franky. But, she didn’t want to ruin her chances at this new job. Even more importantly, she didn’t want to ruin any possible friendship with Bea. If she disappeared for a few days to let the large bruise on her face fade, who knows what kind of story would get back to the redhead. 

And, she didn’t want to risk losing all the progressive she felt she made with the redhead. Each conversation they shared, she could see Bea become more and more comfortable. Her posture was less rigid and she would allow herself to smile widely and laugh. There was something there, she decided just after she exited Bea’s car earlier that morning. Something between them. And it would take time, she realized. Time for the redhead to sort it all out. Time for Allie to gain Bea’s trust. 

She shook her head. 

Right Novak, what are they gonna think if you just bail like this? She asked herself as she reached the curb in search of a cab. They are going to think you’ve found H. That you’re off your face in an alleyway. 

She didn’t have much choice, she decided and gave the firm’s address to the cabbie. Leaning back in the seat, she winced at the pain again before checking her nose, thankful that the bleeding didn’t resume. It was one thing to show up in three different shades of purple… a completely another thing to be bleeding everywhere. 

Allie caught some of the looks of concern thrown her way when she entered the office. Giving a hesitant smile and wave, she continued her way, not stopping to make small talk. Her side was almost aflame and with each step and she felt like she would keel over. 

She had been given a desk just outside Franky’s office and she peered over to look for the tattooed woman. Franky wasn’t at her desk. Throwing her rucksack to the floor, she eased herself into the chair, cringing at the pain. Maybe Franky was out of the office, she reckoned, as she looked at the three subpoenas she was assigned to deliver. She wanted to groan at the thought of having to venture back out to track down and serve these individuals. 

“What the hell happened to you?” Franky asked, full of concern. 

No such luck, she thought grimly, as she turned to look at the tattooed woman. Franky stood with a stack of folders cradled in her arms, looking over Allie with wide eyes. 

“It’s nothing,” Allie assured, swinging her chair to face her desk. “Let’s get started on that Beckett case. I think I’ve got ever-” 

“Hang on,” Franky interjected, grabbing a wheeled chair and dragging it close to Allie’s desk. She dropped the folders onto the desk. “Not until you tell me what the hell happened. Who did this to you?”

Allie shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Bullshit,” Franky insisted. “When I hired you, I told you I wanted you to be upfront with me. What’s going on?”

Allie relented with a sigh and began to explain. She had entered Nicky’s room to check beneath the mattress as Franky suggested. A few minutes later, three women, all of whom she had never seen before entered. 

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” the woman’s voice mused as laughter echoed behind her. “Send Nicky our love, yah?” she growled before she gave Allie a good pop on the cheek, sending sprawling to the floor. Allie turned to her side, instinctively bringing her arms up to cover her face from the continued blows. 

The blonde kept her voice low as she recounted what had happened, occasionally looking about to ensure no one else was around. “Boomer saved my ass,” she told the tattooed woman. “Nicky ripped them off. They thought I had the gear with me since they saw me tear her room apart. I had Boomer with me then, so I’m guessing they were waiting for the opportune moment.” 

Franky tapped a finger on her chin as she thought over the information she was given. “Do you want to press charges?” 

She shook her head. “No. The law and me don’t exactly have a clean past,” she explained, thinking back over the times she had spent the night in a holding cell, waiting to be sober so they would release her. “Bea was right,” she commented and Franky shot her a confused look. “I’m a junkie. Cops aren’t going to buy my story.”

“Well, what are you going to do?” Franky’s eyes filled with sadness as she moved Allie’s chin to assess the damage. “They got you pretty good.” 

“Yeah, I reckon I’m going to be completely blue by morning,” she said with a chuckle. “Please, don’t tell Bea. I don’t want her thinking the worse of me.”

Franky shook her head. “No, no, she won’t,” she assured her. “What she said this morning,” she paused, biting her lower lip. “Look, she’s gone through some serious shit. Life and death shit,” she explained. “Her first instinct is to push people away. Any way she can. What she said, she didn’t mean.” 

Allie wanted to believe it. A part of her did, but another part, the damaged part that encouraged her to turn to drugs, said otherwise. “Maybe I should disappear for a while.”

“Like hell you will,” Franky replied, sternly. “Not when it’s all getting good with Red.”

Allie’s eyebrows crinkled in confusion. “How do you mean?”

“There’s something about her,” Franky began, leaning forward a little. “I saw you two this morning. She was so relaxed, almost carefree. I hadn’t see her like that since before,” she stopped, suddenly, biting her lower lip. Allie wondered if she had been about to blurt something out that she wasn’t allowed to, something about Bea that wasn’t her place to reveal. “Well, for a long time.” 

“Is that why you want me to move in?” Allie asked and she narrowed her eyes in suspicion. 

Franky seemed to take a moment to deliberate her answer, before shaking her head. “No, not entirely,” she replied. “I meant what I told Red.” She eyed the rucksack that had been unceremoniously thrown beside Allie’s desk. “Where will you be going then?”

Allie leaned over her desk, resting her elbows on the surface, and covering her face with her hands. “Hell if I know,” she told her, honestly, and sighed in defeat. Her only option was Kaz and she was not looking forward to the conversation that would be waiting for her. 

Franky convinced the blonde to go the hospital, deciding that the work day could be cut short just this once. The tattooed woman insisted on driving and waited until the doctor examined Allie. After a round of X-rays and several attempts to persuade Allie to explain what had happened, the hospital staff released her with a round of painkillers. It was almost dinnertime before the pair returned to the house, Allie wanting nothing more than to lay down and forget about the day entirely. 

Allie collapsed on the couch as soon as they walked through the door as Franky went to the other room to call in an order of pizza. Her body was completely worn out and by the time Franky returned, she was already fast asleep. Franky smiled sadly as she studied the dark bruise that formed over the side of Allie’s face. Franky grabbed the blanket that had been folded up and left unceremoniously on the ottoman and threw it over the blonde. 

 

Allie awoke some time later to the sound of the door closing and footsteps echoing in the hallway. She lifted her head and saw that it was well past three in the morning, and figuring it was probably Bea returning home after her shift. She felt her heart skip a beat at the thought of the redhead. Then she remembered how upset she seemed that morning when she found her. 

Not wanting to risk a repeat, she laid her head back down just as the footsteps resumed. She closed her eyes, hoping that Bea wouldn’t notice her. The footsteps paused for a moment before resuming, the sound becoming slightly louder with each step. 

Damn, she thought. 

“What the fuck?” she heard Bea whisper with anger evident in her voice. 

Deciding to face the music, Allie slowly opened her eyes, meeting Bea’s shocked expression. “Franky said that I could crash again,” she explained, hoping that it would placate the other woman. “I can leave if yo-“

“Allie” Bea began with shake of her head as she inched closer. The redhead took a seat on the coffee table, leaning close to the blonde. Allie sat up, wincing at the pain again. It made her limbs feel heavy and it seemed to almost paralyze her. Bea looked at her with an expression mixed with anger and sadness. “What the fuck happened?” she demanded to know, her voice in a half whisper. 

“I, uh, I was jumped,” she explained with a shrug. 

“By who?”

Allie shook her head. “It’s a really long story.”

Bea opened her mouth, words seemingly to fail her. Instead, she reached out, letting her fingers glide over her cheek. Allie felt her throat constrict and her heart began to beat wildly in her chest. She wondered briefly if she was still asleep. Surely, this was a dream. Bea Smith was not sitting in front of her with hands all over her face and a distraught look gracing her features. But as Allie swallowed hard, she knew that it was in fact happening. And that realization almost brought tears to her eyes. 

“It looks worse than it is,” she assured the redhead, who merely nodded, although Allie could tell she remained unconvinced. She felt the redhead’s fingers beneath her chin, gently urging her head upwards. 

“Fuck,” Bea hissed, angrily. “Where else?” 

Allie opened her mouth, before sighing in resignation. It was useless to argue. The paramedic in Bea had to know. Had to assess. Slowly and in obvious pain, Allie lifted her shirt upwards, wincing at the action. She couldn’t look Bea directly in the eye, but she could hear the quick intake of breath. 

“Seriously,” she assured her when she let her shirt fall back down. “I’m good. I’ve had worse beatings when I was working. This is… this is nothing.”

Bea met her gaze with obvious confusion. She looked to Allie, questioningly and it took the blonde a moment longer to understand why. 

Fuck, she thought. She hadn’t meant to say that. 

“What the hell does that mean?” 

She sighed again, feeling hot tears forming in her eyes. This is it, she thought. This would probably be the last time Bea would want me around. “My last profession,” she explained with a shrug that made her wince. “I am… no, was a prostitute,” Allie explained, her eyes downcast, focusing on her fingers as she picked at the blanket. 

“And, you’ve had clients that bashed you,” Bea surmised and her soft tone brought Allie’s gaze back up. 

“More often than not,” Allie admitted with a shrug. “I wound up in the hospital once. Long time ago.” 

“I’ve had my share of hospital visits,” Bea recounted as she tapped her knees with her hands. “A couple times while in prison. Quite a few more before I ended up there.”

Allie’s eyebrows crinkled. “What for?” 

The redhead looked hesitant to elaborate and Allie wondered if her admission had been accidental like hers. The blonde went on to assure her that she didn’t need to answer. Bea nodded once, looking around the room. 

“Come on then,” Bea said after a long moment of silence. 

“You kicking me out then?” Allie asked, unable to mask her disappointment. Even though she had expected it, she was still unprepared for the rush of emotions that flooded, knowing that it would be the last time she would see the redhead. 

“Fuck. No,” Bea answered as she stood. “Do you need help?” 

Allie nodded, feeling another wave of heat wash over her when the redhead leaned down to wrap an arm around her body. Bea instructed her to give her all her weight and Allie did so, hoping that the redhead couldn’t hear her beating heart. The older woman guided her out of the lounge, stopping at the foot of the stairs. 

“You’re making me go up there?” Allie asked, raising a brow. 

Bea glanced at her before shaking her head. “There’s a spare room up there,” she explained. “Might be better option to the sofa.” 

“No offense, Bea,” she began with a chuckle. “But, the floor would be better if it meant not having to conquer those stairs.

It was obvious that the redhead hadn’t thought her plan through. Allie watched as Bea’s dark eyes moved about, her mind seemingly going over an alternative. Finally, she turned her gaze back to the blonde, requesting that she wrap both arms around her neck. 

“I’m probably going to regret this in the morning,” Bea mumbled, bending at an angle before scooping Allie up into her arms. 

Holy fuck, Allie thought to herself, feeling herself grow slick as Bea began to climb the stairs with her in tow. Holy, holy, holy fuck, this is hot. 

“Wait, why are you going to regret this?” Allie asked when they reached the top. Bea blushed, embarrassed by her remark, and Allie tilted her head in realization. “Bea Smith, are you calling me fat?” 

“I said no such thing,” Bea replied, hotly. “I don’t exactly carry people up and down flights of stairs on a regular.”

“Oh my god, you think I’m fat,” Allie retorted with a laugh as she let her feet touch the floor again. “I can’t weigh even a kilo more than those stretchers do. And, I’ve seen you carry one of those down with someone on top of it.”

Bea crossed her arms over chest. “Yeah, with help.” 

Allie shook her head with a smirk, hoping that the redhead had picked up on her jest. The redhead rolled her eyes before guiding her further down the hall. The spare room was just after the bathroom. Allie moved away from the redhead to sit upon the bed, before she glanced around her surroundings. It was a plain room and it was obvious that it was never used. 

“Let me go get some pajamas,” Bea said, disappearing from the room. 

Allie exhaled, hoping that she could cool down her rising temperature by sheer willpower alone. Bea returned a few minutes later in just a tank top, having shed her work shirt while gone. Allie gulped, unable to tame her eyes as roamed over the redhead’s body. And, of course, Bea was completely oblivious to her obvious gaping.

“Here,” she murmured, handing Allie a T-shirt and pajama pants. “Reckon that it would be more comfortable than jeans.” 

Allie smiled warmly at her as she accepted the clothes. She watched as Bea looked everywhere else but in her direction. She tugged at her own shirt, unable to stifle the painful groan when pain shot up her side. “Fuck,” she muttered in frustration, instantly catching Bea’s attention. 

“Do you… do you need help?” 

Allie nodded as she gazed up at the redhead. She watched, bemused, as Bea’s face turned several shades red, almost matching the color of her hair. Clearing her throat, she instructed the blonde to lift her arms. Allie tucked her lips inward, trying to stop the smile from spreading while Bea avoided all eye contact. Bea helped the blonde with her shirt before standing up, her embarrassment becoming even more apparent. 

Allie looked down, realizing that she would need to remove her pants. Taking a hold of Bea’s arm, she stood back up, cringing at the wave of pain that seemed to encompass her entire body. She undid her jeans, trying to shrug out of them before Bea jumped in. If it weren’t for the pain, Allie couldn’t be sure what she would have done. Being this close to the redhead. Her hands helping her disrobe. The smell of her shampoo lingering in the air around her. 

What is that? Lavender? Allie wondered briefly, as she placed both of her hands on Bea’s shoulders to steady herself. Goddamn, she smells good. 

She lifted one leg then the other while Bea helped tug. As the redhead lifted her head once more, Allie caught glimpse of something she hadn’t noticed before. It made Allie pause and Bea quickly looked away, ushering her to the bed. Bea turned away to leave as Allie brought the blanket up to her chest. 

“Bea?” Allie called out, waiting until the redhead turned back to look at her. “Thank you.” 

Bea smiled and nodded. She seemed hesitant and Allie waited patiently for whatever it was the redhead wanted to say. “I had been in and out of the hospital before my time in prison because,” Bea paused to take in a deep breath and Allie lifted her head up to give the redhead her full attention. “I, uh, used to get bashed by my ex-husband,” she explained, sniffing slightly before looking away. 

Allie’s eyes widen in shock at the admission. She had known plenty of women, who had been victims of domestic violence. Kaz worked with many of them, trying to help them out of their situations and into better lives. A small piece of the puzzle began to fit into place and Allie felt like she understood Bea a little better in that moment. 

“I’m sorry, Bea,” she muttered letting her gaze fall away from the older woman. “That’s awful.” 

Bea shrugged, obviously trying to downplay how painful it had been. Allie waited for the redhead to elaborate, to explain further. Perhaps they could begin to swap stories. But as she laid her head back on the pillow, she felt her body begin to succumb to sleep. “Good night, Allie,” the redhead said before she left the room, closing the door behind her. 

Allie smiled as sleep began to take over. Her mind replaying the last fifteen minutes. She thought back to the look on Bea’s face and it made the blonde’s heart skip a few beats. She had been intimate with plenty of men and women, all of whom wore that same look at one point or another. However, none of them left her with the feelings she found herself having when Bea wore it. That unmistakable look of pure want. 

Allie’s smile turned into a grin, because she could say for certain in that moment, Bea Smith was attracted to her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of the season premiere tonight... I give you the 13th chapter. I'm seriously jealous of all the Aussies out there. I'm in the States and I'll have to do my best at finding a website that posts the episodes or waiting it out until Netflx uploads the season.

Chapter 13

 

Bea sat, impatiently, at the table, drumming her fingers every so often. She hoped that whatever was taking her friend wasn’t serious. Although, she had to remind herself, sometimes the guards just liked to drag their feet for their own amusement. She glanced around, seeing a few other prisoners, faces she didn’t recognized, sitting with their own visitors. 

As the wait began to drag on, she felt her mind wander. It had been almost a week since Allie had unofficially took residence in her home. They hadn’t spoken much during that time, save for a greeting in passing. Bea took shelter in her room when normally she would be in the kitchen joining Franky for breakfast. She hadn’t found the courage within her to venture downstairs. The thought of facing the blonde and engaging in conversation was a daunting idea. 

“Bea,” a familiar voice called out to her and the redhead looked up instantly to find Liz Birdsworth standing near the doorway she had emerged from. Her hands were shoved inside her hoodie pockets and her hair was tied back loosely. She looked the way she always looked, how Bea remembered her always looking. 

“Liz,” Bea nearly sobbed out, immediately standing up to bring her friend into a hug. It had been a long while since she had come to visit, and the thought brought a pang of guilt. 

“Well, this is a surprise,” the older woman commented with a smile, pushing Bea back a little so she could get a good look at her. “You look good, love.”

Bea smiled bashfully and they parted to take a seat across from each other at the table. “How are you?” 

Liz seemed to ponder the question for a moment with an amused smile. “As good as I can be in prison, I suppose.”

Bea chuckled. “Sorry, that was a shit question. It’s just been a while. I’m sorry.”

Liz waved her hand at her. “Don’t worry about that, love. I reckon you’ve had your hands full with saving lives.”

Bea smiled, instantly feeling herself fall into a comfortable space with the older blonde. She reached across the table, Liz meeting her halfway, to hold her hands. During her time in Wentworth, Bea had often turned to the older blond for advice or just a chat. It was probably the only thing Bea truly missed about prison.

“I’ve been working nights,” she explained, looking down at their joined hands. “It’s been a rough couple of weeks though.”

Liz’s eyebrows crinkled. “Oh, how so?”

Bea took a deep breath before she began to recount the events. Beginning with the overdosed teen that brought back all those difficult memories. The call to the women’s shelter. Allie. Liz listened intently, nodding at different intervals, and giving the redhead’s hand a squeeze. 

“She was jumped,” Bea explained after a long while and took a shaky breath. “They bashed her real good. I’m surprised she’s not at hospital.” Bea lifted her eyebrows before looking away. 

Liz gave her an odd look, craning her neck to try and meet eye contact. “What is it?” 

Bea shook her head, opening her mouth, but unable to voice her thoughts. Liz sat, patiently waiting for the redhead to organize her thoughts into words. “Allie. She’s… she’s always there,” she spoke, although that hadn’t really been what she wanted to say. “Everywhere I look.” 

“Well, isn’t she living with you and Franky?” Liz asked with amusement. 

“Nah, it’s more than that,” Bea replied, pulling her hands away from the older woman’s grasp. Liz watched on, her confusion deepening. “I can’t,” she began, stopping again, completely at a loss. 

“Can’t what?”

“I can’t get her out of my head,” Bea admitted and paused for a moment when she felt a weight, she didn’t know existed, fall of her shoulders. It was true, she realized. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Allie since she had first met her. 

Liz studied the redhead for a long moment, slowly realizing the significance of Bea’s words. “Oh, love,” she began, affectionately. “You like her.” 

It wasn’t a question. Liz put a label on the emotions that Bea had been grappling with for almost weeks now. “That’s not what I meant…”

“No, but it’s what it sounds like,” Liz replied and she smiled gently. “Listen, Bea, I know that the romance department hasn’t been….” she trailed off, leaving the implication in the air. “But, the way you talk about her, it sounds like you, well, that you’re smitten.” 

Bea crossed her arms, reminding Liz instantly of a petulant child. “I am not.”

Liz smiled again, opting for silence so not to instigate any further reaction from her redheaded friend. “If you say so,” she spoke, her tone giving away how unconvinced she truly was by Bea’s assertion. She had been by the redhead’s side the entire time Bea had been incarcerated. She’d see the woman through the worst of times. She had never seen her quite like this. She made a mental note to phone Franky. Perhaps she could get the full story from the tattooed woman. 

Bea left nearly an hour later, bidding the older farewell and promising to visit again soon. Her mind became preoccupied by what she had revealed to Liz. 

It had been a long while since she had any sort of romantic feelings for another person. She had plenty of crushes on men before marrying Harry and even a few during the darkest points of her marriage. It helped her through… in a way. The prospect of seeing the handsome delivery man each day at the salon. Or choosing the queue at the grocery store that manned by the cute clerk, who was always up for small talk. She let her imagination run wild sometimes, especially at night as she lay beside her husband. How it would feel to be held by someone that truly cared for her. To love someone that loved her equally in return. 

She had never pictured those scenarios with another woman. 

Bea shook her head as she started the engine of her car. She could confidently conclude that she had never even looked at another woman in that way. She let her mind wander a bit further to the first time she had ever laid eyes on Allie. There hadn’t been anything that had stood out to her about the younger woman, aside from the fact that the blonde stared at her. At the time, she chalked it up to the stress of the situation. As a paramedic, she had seen it quite often. 

She brought the car to a complete stop for the red light, thinking back to their second encounter. The redhead hadn’t paid much heed to Allie then either. Bea had been too focused on trying to rid herself of the blonde. It had been the third encounter that she truly noticed her, Bea realized. It hadn’t been any grand gesture, just a friendly chat over breakfast. 

The desperate urge to distance herself from the other woman began to dissipate after that. Even more so, during their conversation in the kitchen. Bea had never felt so at east around another person. Not the way she felt that night as she sat across from the blonde, finding herself hanging onto every word that fell from the younger woman’s lips. 

She drummed her fingers, thinking over another crucial moment. Bea felt her cheeks burn at the memory, feeling the need to roll the window down slightly. It was a feeling that took the redhead by surprise that night. As she pulled the blonde’s jeans down, she felt an incredibly powerful urge to take Allie into her arms. And, when Bea stood back up, meeting her gaze, another powerful urge took a hold of her. 

She wanted to kiss Allie. 

 

“I want you to meet her, Red,” Franky announced later that evening as the trio sat around the table eating their meal. 

“Westfall?” Bea asked, barely looking up from her bowl. If she looked up, her eyes would immediately seek out a pair of bright blue ones that were surely already staring back. “I’ve already met her, Franky. In prison.” 

Allie couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped her, mumbling an apology right after. Bea glanced up at the blonde, smirking at her reaction. She was trying very hard to not engage with Allie, her earlier conversation with Liz still fresh in her mind. Now that her feelings were labeled, Bea felt suddenly exposed. As if everyone could read what she was thinking… what she was feeling. To be called out by Franky and especially by Allie was just too much for her shy soul to take. No, it was safer just to ignore it and in doing so, ignore Allie. Which she found very hard to do when Allie smiled like that at her, when those blue eyes seemed to sparkle, how that laugh seemed to invoke some involuntary reaction within her. 

“No, Red. I mean, you knew her as the prison psychologist. I want you to meet her as my girlfriend,” she explained before taking a sip of her beer. 

“So, it’s official then?” Allie asked between bites. 

“Reckon you lost your chance with yours truly, Novak,” Franky replied with a laugh. 

“Dodged a bullet more like,” Allie retorted with an amused smile and Franky lifted her middle finger in response. The interaction made Bea laugh, a sound that seemed to make Allie’s smile widen, her blue eyes quickly seeking hers out. 

“Come on, Red,” Franky urged, reaching over to lightly shove the older woman. “I’m serious about this woman,” she explained then paused as an idea came to her. “Hey, let’s all of us go out to dinner tomorrow night.”

“All of us?” Bea asked, her head perking up in surprise.

“Yeah, why not?”

“I have… plans,” she replied, lamely. 

“Oh, come on, Bea,” Allie chimed in. “It’ll be fun. You can’t say that you aren’t a tad bit curious as to who would date someone like Franky.”

“Excuse me, someone like me? I sign your paychecks, Novak.”

Allie bit her lower lip, trying to tame her smile. She had found this sort of banter with Franky came almost naturally. It was like they had been friends for years, instead of a handful of weeks. The tattooed woman seemingly noticed as well, and poked fun at the blonde every chance she got. 

“Sorry, boss,” Allie replied, holding her hands up in surrender. “On a more serious note, I am truly happy for you.” 

“See? That’s sort of reaction I was hoping to get from one of my best mates,” Franky said, throwing the redhead a pointed look. 

Bea rolled her eyes, shaking her head at the pair before her. “Well, my shift ends at five,” she told her, finally giving in. “Seven okay?”

“That’s perfect! Allie, you good with that right?”

The blonde nodded, unable to mask her surprise at the invite. It was like she had stepped into a whole new life. New friends that didn’t think twice about including her. It felt natural to sit there at the table with the two women. 

“Good, now let me call Gidge,” she said as she stood up, her hand reaching to her pocket for her phone. 

The pair sat in silence when Franky disappeared to the next room. Bea’s eyes looked everywhere but Allie, and finally after a few seconds, she risked looking up. Of course, the blonde was looking back at her, elbow resting on the table and chin in her hand. She smiled when their eyes met, and in an instant, Bea felt her stomach flip. 

“How was your day, Bea?” 

“It was okay,” she answered, poking her food with a fork. “It was kinda nice to just relax.”

“Good, you’ve earned it.” 

Bea nodded, unsure of an appropriate response. “How was yours?”

“Lots of paperwork,” she replied and she sat up, letting her arm fall downwards onto the table. “Franky reckons I can start serving papers again next week. I feel like I can walk almost normally now.”

Bea nodded at that, again unsure of how to respond. They hadn’t spoken much since that night, save for a greeting here or there in passing. The redhead wasn’t sure how to interact with the other woman, especially after her admission. Only a close group of people knew of her past with Harry. It wasn’t something she was particularly fond of talking about. She could tell that the blonde had been curious, but she couldn’t bring herself to delve into her past. 

Luckily, she was saved from any further consideration as Franky returned, announcing that the reservations were set up as she sat down. Bea let her eyes return to her plate, only half listening to the conversation taking place at the table before her. The few times she managed the courage to look upwards, sure enough Allie’s eyes were on her. They finished up sometime later, Franky suggesting they spend the evening watching a movie. 

“Ah, come on, really?” Bea asked, making a face when Franky suggested a movie called ‘Inception’. Bea had heard of it before, but never got around to watching it. The premise seemed odd to her. Not to mention the movie was just long. 

“Yeah, Allie and I had an important discussion about this movie during lunch today,” Franky explained as she popped the disc into the player. 

Bea glanced over at the blonde, who nodded in agreement. “I had always wanted to see it,” she explained before a sad smile graced her lips. “But, I couldn’t afford it when it was playing in theater. And, it’s not like the shelter has an abundance of films laying around.” 

The redhead’s heartstrings tugged a little at the admission. She looked back to Franky, who shot her a pointed look before pressing the button on the remote. They settled on the couch after that, Franky opting for the chair while Allie and Bea sat awkwardly next to each other on the couch. 

Bea had to admit, the film turned out to be more interesting than she had expected. She was lost in the plot for a while, before Allie’s voice snapped her attention away from the screen. 

“Looks like someone couldn’t make it through,” Allie commented with an amused smile. 

Bea looked over to Franky, who had indeed, fallen asleep. Shaking her head, she stood up, crossing the room to the closet where they kept extra blankets. She returned with two and used one to cover the tattoo woman. 

“What?” Bea asked when she noticed the blonde had been watching her with a small smile. 

She shook her head. “Nothing. It’s just sweet of you. How you take care of each other.” 

Bea glanced back at Franky, her frown deepening. “We’ve been through quite a bit.” 

The redhead offered the remaining blanket to Allie, who looked up in surprise. There was a small exchange of who was better deserving of the blanket as Bea took her seat before Allie decided the better option was to just share. Then, it had hit Bea. Technically it was just the two of them now. She couldn’t focus on the film after that, her mind constantly at war with wanting to say something or remain silent. 

“Allie,” she spoke before realizing, looking away shyly when the blonde turned her head to look back at her. “How… how did you end up at the shelter?” 

There was a flash of sadness in those dark blue eyes that instantly made Bea regret her question. She had been ready to apologize to the blonde, when Allie spoke in a low voice. 

“I’d fallen into the wrong crowd while in school and got hooked on ice,” she explained, unable to lift her gaze up to meet the redhead’s gaze. “I’d lost my part time job and was desperate for a hit. I began stealing from my parents, friends, strangers. Eventually, I was recruited, while off my face, and started working as a prostitute.” 

“Allie,” Bea began, intending to let the blonde know they could drop the conversation. Allie finally turned, looking over at the redhead and smiled. 

“The money was good and it kept me on the gear. It wasn’t too long after that my dad found out what I was doing. He was already sore about me being a lesbian. Kicked me out on my arse,” she finished, lifting her eyebrows up for a moment before letting out a heavy exhale. “The women’s shelter was really the only place I could go. I don’t have much family to begin with and I had already stuffed it up with my friends.” 

“I’m sorry,” Bea replied, lamely as she picked at the blanket with her fingers. She couldn’t ever imagine doing something like that to Debbie. Shunning her own child for that reason, or any reason, was just a horrid thought to her. Her heart went out to the blonde, who smiled meekly at her. 

“Ah, it’s alright,” Allie replied, brightening up. “I survived. Best I could, anyway.”

“You’ve had no one to look after you?” Bea asked, unable to mask her sadness. 

Allie became solemn at the question. “Kaz,” she answered, simply. “She saved my life.” 

“She wouldn’t take you in then?” she blurted the question before really thinking it through and apologized right after. 

“No, it’s okay,” Allie assured her, hesitating only for a moment. “Kaz helped me off the gear. More than once. I’ve stuffed it up and like all the times before, I just keep disappointing her.” She paused, taking a deep breath before shrugging. “Let’s just say she’s not too keen on seeing me right now.”

They grew silent after that, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Bea could sense frustration in the blonde’s words. Frustration with herself, she reckoned. Swallowing hard, she reached over and placed her hand gently over the blonde’s. It must have spooked her, as she could see Allie jump slightly in her peripheral vision. Bea, lacking the courage to meet those blue eyes head on, kept her eyes downwards. 

“I reckon that there could have been a chance we’d have run into one another,” she commented in a whisper. “Had I have had the courage to leave my ex-husband. The women’s shelter would have been an obvious choice.”

“Why didn’t you?” Allie asked, hesitantly, as her eyes were glue on the hand over her own. 

Bea thought that over for a moment, unsure of how to answer. At the time, her excuse had been Debbie. She hadn’t wanted her daughter’s relationship with her father to become tainted. Harry had been careful not to lay a finger on the redhead when their daughter was around. Bea was confident that Debbie had not never known about the abuse. At least, she liked to think so. She sighed heavily, closing her eyes to try and fight the tears that began to well up at the thought of Debbie. 

“I’m sorry,” Allie spoke in a low voice, moving her other hand to cover Bea’s. “I shouldn’t pry.” 

Bea glanced over at her, shaking her head to assure the blonde that she was not offended. Truth was, she wanted to tell Allie. She wanted to tell Allie everything, but the words seemed trapped inside her. Instead of words, she sat, letting her hand grip Allie’s. They sat in a comfortable silence, not realizing that a pair of green eyes was quietly observing them from the chair across the room. 

The movie ended a little while later and Allie reluctantly pulled her hands away from the redhead. With a slight smile, Bea strode across the room to gently shake Franky awake. The pair were unaware that the tattooed woman had been awake for some time, inadvertently eavesdropping on their conversation. Franky yawned loudly, waving at the pair before heading off to the direction of her room, while Allie followed the redhead up the stairs. 

“Good night, Bea,” she said in a low whisper, giving the redhead one last smile before they separated to their respective rooms. She didn’t look back at her, couldn’t, for fear that she would lose control. For in that moment, she wanted nothing but to follow that older woman to her room. 

Allie had found herself unable to relax afterwards. Her mind was too preoccupied with images of Bea, their conversation, and thoughts of how good it felt to hold her hand. But as she laid in the guest bed, pulling the blanket up to her chin, another issue began to weigh heavily on her mind. An issue in the form of a photograph that was currently stashed away in her rucksack. She cringed at what it showed her. Allie had been building up the courage to face that piece of information, deciding on the best course of action. 

Nicki was most likely not going survive, she discovered a few days ago. Just as Bea had said, her parents deserved to know. 

In the morning, she decided a few moments later and closed her eyes. 

She only managed an hour or two of sleep before rolling out of the bed just before seven. She wasn’t due to work until much later. It should be plenty of time, she thought. 

She left the house, undetected by Bea or Franky. She considered calling for a cab, but thought against it. The walk would do her good. It would give her time to think and put together what she planned to say. She arrived at her destination a half hour later, stopping just before the two-story home. 

Allie took a deep breath before climbing up the steps of the house. She had been dreading this moment and could feel her heart beating so fast she thought it would jump out of her chest. Lifting her hand, she rapped at the door a few times, before taking a giant step backwards. She swallowed hard, as the door swung open slowly, revealing an older gentleman. She waited as the man looked her over, his blue eyes widening as recognition set in. 

With another deep breath, Allie looked back at him before saying, “Hey, Dad.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for how long it took for this chapter. I started it, then had to scrap what I wrote. Then, I lost my mojo thanks to season 6. Not sure what the writers are thinking... but hopefully they can redeem Allie's character. So, I hope this chapter is okay, because I don't totally like how it turned out.

Chapter 14

 

Bea felt warm all over. 

Even after her cold shower. 

She sat on the bar stool, her elbow propped up on the kitchen bench while she rested her chin in her palm. She poked at the cooked eggs with her fork while her mind began to fill with images of the younger blonde, causing another wave of heat within her. 

She had waited longer than usual to leave her room that morning. Laying in her bed, she listened for the sound of Allie’s footsteps as she always did each morning since the blonde had moved in. Ten minutes soon turned into an hour and still nothing. Taking a heavy breath, she threw back the covers and ventured out into the hall. Allie’s door had been open, a sign that the blonde was not occupying the room. 

She was relieved to find the kitchen empty, Franky having left a note that she left early for work and that Allie had also gone out. She couldn’t bear to fathom what sort of reaction she would get from her tattooed friend. The look on her face would give it all away, of course. 

Bea closed her eyes, immediately regretting her decision, as the images from her dream seemed to replay behind her eyelids. 

Fuck, she thought as she swallowed hard. 

It felt almost real. Allie’s naked body against her own, tangled between the bed sheets. She could almost feel those ample, wet lips against the base of her throat, moving downward slowly. The moans that escaped her whilst in the dream had taken her by surprise. Just as she felt the blonde’s fingers begin to find their way between her legs, she woke up with a start, unable to suppress the moan that escaped her lips in the process. 

Bea took another staggered breath, setting her fork down to run her fingers through her red curls. 

How am I to face Allie tonight? She thought warily. 

Bea could feel her heart begin to race at the idea of sitting through an entire dinner with the blonde. After having such a… vivid dream of Allie. A dream, she was surprised to realize, that she didn’t want to wake up from. 

 

Allie felt her heart pounding in her chest as the door peeled back to reveal her father. A much older version of her father from the one she remembered. He looked weathered, the lines on his face seemingly having multiplied since the last time she saw him. He looked back at her, his eyes widened slightly. 

Reckon he never thought he’d see me again, Allie thought to herself and she took a deep breath. “Well?” she asked with a shrug. “You gonna say anything?” 

Her question must have brought him out of some internal reverie. She noticed his shoulders jumped slightly and his eyes finally met her own. “You look like shit,” he commented before pushing away from the doorway to enter the lounge. 

Allie scoffed, the noise sounding more like a laugh as she rolled her eyes. Ten years since they spoke and that was the first thing out of his mouth. She shook her head before following him into the house. She closed the door behind her, watching as he took a seat across in his recliner. He paid her little heed as he went about lighting his cigarette and reading over the newspaper. She took the opportunity to survey her father’s home. 

“When did you move here?” she asked, glancing at him before moving towards the wall of photographs. She couldn’t help but smile when she caught sight of her mother’s portrait. It had been a long time since she thought of her. 

“A year after you left,” he answered, barely looking up at her. 

She glared at him. You mean, after you kicked me out? She thought to herself. She saw a few more of her mother then ones of her grandparents. Her jaw clenched when she realized that there were none of her. It was as if the man had erased any sign of her existence. She shook her head, before deciding to take a seat on the sofa across from her father. Her injuries had become exacerbated after her walk. 

“What sort of nonsense are you bringing to my doorstep?” he asked in a tone that was not too friendly. 

Allie settled against the cushion, wincing at the dull pain in her side. “More like some of your nonsense,” she countered, lifting an eyebrow when he lowered the paper slightly to meet her gaze. He didn’t bite, instead returning to his paper as if she didn’t exist. 

“So, Allie,” he began, “Are you clean now?” 

She was taken back by the sudden question. “Um, yeah.” 

“How long this time?” 

She gritted her teeth, angry even though she had been expecting that question. “Few weeks. I had been cleaned for months before. Just had a small misstep.”

“Misstep?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow. “Is that what you junkies call it?”

She glared at him and she could feel her blood begin to boil. He didn’t seem to notice, or care, about offending her. Instead, he continued reading, flipping the page of his newspaper before taking a drag from his cigarette. Allie wondered for a moment if she should just leave. It was a fool’s errand. He hadn’t changed in a slightest. However, the thought of returning to Nicki’s beside without at least trying to locate her parents kept her still. 

“And, are you still…gay?” 

She looked back at him in astonishment. “What kind of question is that?” He didn’t respond and she was left to stare back, mouth agape. 

“I’m just curious,” he answered with a shrug. “I haven’t seen you in ten years.” 

“Yes. I am,” she replied, her eyes wide, challenging him. She took a deep breath. It was utterly bizarre, she decided. The last time they spoke, they had exchanged some awful words. Allie had been off her face, of course, which didn’t help the situation. She remembered how it felt as her father ransacked her room. He tore down posters, threw the lamp across the room, flipped the mattress. When he had stormed out, she thought it had been the end of it. She began to clean up after his mess when he reappeared, throwing a rucksack at her.

He nodded once. “And, the whore bit?” 

It was not so much that he asked the question, but more on how he worded it. There was a moment of shame that almost overwhelmed her. She shrugged it off, reminding herself that she owed this man nothing. She had come for one purpose. That purpose was currently burning a hole in her jacket pocket. 

“That part is over,” she replied, evenly, and as she spoke the words, a certain redhead began to creep into her thoughts. She held that image of Bea smiling, hoping it would aid her through this difficult conversation with a man she once thought of as her father. 

He hummed, seemingly still indifferent. “So, Allie, if you’ve come for money, I’m afraid, I have none to spare,” he replied, curtly, as he folded up his paper. He leaned back in his chair, his eyes squinting slightly as he regarded the blonde. 

Allie scoffed and shook her head in disbelief. “I haven’t come looking for money. Believe it or not, I’m doing well for myself.” She couldn’t help but attempt to explain herself. The way her father looked at her, talked to her, made her feel like she was sixteen again. She felt smaller and the realization made her eyes sting. “Why the fuck would you think I’d come all this way for money?”

He shrugged, waving his hand up expectantly. “Why else would you show up at my doorstep before noon? After ten years, no less.” 

It was a good question, she supposed. Had the situation been in reverse and her father showed up out of the blue like this, she’d wonder what he wanted from her. “Thought it time for a small family reunion.” 

“Clearly,” he commented as he took a final drag from his cigarette before pushing the remaining bud into the ashtray. “So, why are you here?” 

Way to show the love, Dad, she thought bitterly. “I need to know who Nicki is.” 

He gave her an odd look, clearly confused by the question. Allie sighed, before reaching into her jacket pocket, retrieving the photograph she had found in Nicki’s room. She pushed it towards him, watching his expression as he studied the image. 

It had shocked her when she first saw it. She had never imaged seeing her father’s smiling face looking back at her when she discovered the picture under Nicki’s mattress. A younger version of the man that was sitting across from her was kneeling beside a young blonde. At first glance, she had thought the photograph was of herself. The shock turned into confusion when she realized that the younger girl was Nicki, the girl she had helped save from an overdose. The very girl that led her straight to Bea Smith. 

Her father sat frozen for a few moments, his eyes widening. He leaned forward, picking up the photograph to have a closer inspection. “Where did you get this?” he asked after a while. 

“Does it matter?” Allie retorted. “Who is she?” 

He didn’t answer her, merely stared, his mouth agape looking like he had seen a ghost. “That was the name she gave you? Nicki, you say?” 

“Yes,” she replied. “No surname.” 

He licked his lips, letting the photograph fall into his lap, before gazing back up at the blonde. He looked troubled. “When I knew her, that was not her name.” 

“What the fuck does that mean? When you knew her?” 

“Do you really want to the details?” he asked with a slight smile as he tossed the photograph back on the table. 

“I want answers,” she insisted, pointing to the offending object that sat between them. “Who the fuck is she?” 

He was silent for a moment, exhaling sharply before running a hand through his salt and pepper hair. “I hadn’t seen her since that day. Her mum took that photo.”

“Okay, so you obviously don’t care,” Allie spoke in a harsh tone, her patience beginning to wane. She had spent too much time with his man and the urge to run began to make itself present. “Where’s her mum?” 

He looked up, confused. “Why are you here, Allie?” 

“Fucking hell,” Allie muttered. “Look, the girl is at hospital. I need to find her next of kin.” 

Allie wasn’t sure what she had expected. The lack of emotion that her father displayed hadn’t surprised her in the least. His eyes lowered back to the photograph. After a few moments of silence, Allie scoffed and stood up. 

Fuck it, she thought, I’ll just have to find her a different way. 

She reached across the table to retrieve the photograph, aware of her father’s eyes watching her as she strode across the lounge towards the doorway. 

“Lara Finch,” he said just as her hand touched the doorknob. 

Allie half turned, meeting her father’s hard gaze. “What?” 

“The girl’s mother,” he explained, his head bobbing slightly as if to point to the photo in Allie’s hand. “That’s her name.” 

“Guessing you wouldn’t know where to find her?” 

“Last I heard, she was still in Melbourne,” he informed her and he leaned forward to pick another cigarette from the carton that sitting on the coffee table. 

“And, the girl’s name?”

He busied himself with light his cigarette before looking back at her. “Emily Novak.” 

 

“You look like shit,” Franky commented as she briefly glanced over the clothing rack at Allie. They stood in the middle of the women’s clothing store. 

“Seems to be the theme today,” the blonde muttered before exhaling sharply. Allie, preoccupied with browsing through the shirts, barely looked up.

“Rough morning?” Franky asked, unable to rein in her curiosity. 

Allie pulled a shirt from its place on the rack to examine it. She pursed her lips together and sighed. Her mind momentarily replaced the morning she had… with her father. “It was… an interesting morning.” 

Franky shot her a quizzical look, before glancing at the entrance of the shop. She noted the time, seeing they had a few minutes before their target was due. “Well, out with it. What happened?” 

Allie hung the shirt back, unable to meet her friend’s questioning stare. “It doesn’t matter,” she answered with a shake of her head. 

Franky nodded once, observing the blonde from her side of the clothing rack. “Can I ask you something else then?”

“Sure.”

“You and Red. What’s your angle?” 

The question made Allie look up in surprise. She shot the tattooed woman a confused look. Franky waited expectantly for some sort of reply. 

“Not sure what you’re talking about,” she replied evenly. 

“Last night,” Franky said with sigh, as she abandoned her browsing. She hung an arm, lazily over the top of the metal bar. “I heard you two talking.” 

Allie raised her eyebrows. “And?” 

The tattooed woman bit her lower lip. “Just, be careful with her, yeah? She’s been through hell and back. I’m just making sure,” she paused, seemingly realizing what she was about to say may offend her new friend. 

Allie turned fully to face her. “Make sure what? I’m not playing some sort of game with her, Franky.”

“Sorry,” she muttered after a long moment. “It’s just a force of habit to protect her is all.”  


Allie glanced back at the tattooed woman, who could only offer a shrug in response. “I care about her, Franky,” she admitted as she ran a finger across the row of shirts that were hanging in front of her. “I… I never felt this way before.” 

Franky looked taken back, her mouth slightly agape. Before she could formulate a response, a tall slender woman walked through the entrance of the shop. She was engrossed in her phone as she passed by the pair to make her away towards the door to the backroom. Franky turned back to the blonde, who had already dug into her messenger bag for the manila envelope. She quickly moved around the shirt rack to follow the girl. 

“April Thompson,” Allie called out just as the girl’s hand touched the door. 

“Yeah?”

Allie extended her hand, effectively pushing the envelope and its contents into April’s hands. “You have a court summons,” she announced before turning on her heels. 

Franky had already moved towards the exit, pulling her sunglasses down. They left without saying another word, leaving the girl confused. 

“I’m sorry,” Franky said once again when they climbed into her car a few minutes later. “I hadn’t meant anything by what I was sayin’. It’s just. I don’t want to see Bea get hurt. Again.”

Allie nodded, unable to really argue with the other woman’s concerns over a certain redhead that had captured her attention in the last few weeks. “I would never hurt her,” she insisted, sending Franky a look that spoke volumes. 

“I know,” Franky replied before she turned the key in the ignition. 

The tattooed woman seemed to be perspective enough to realize that Allie hadn’t been in the mood for any more conversation. She turned her focus on driving, while Allie gazed out the window at the passing scenery. 

Her thoughts drifted back to Bea and she was unable to suppress a smile. It was a strange, she decided. For as rough of a morning as she had, her mood was instantly brightened by the mere thought of the older woman. Allie could never recall a time she had felt that way about another woman. It was nice, but so very frightening at the same time. 

Her smile faded when replayed the events of the morning. 

Emily Novak, she thought. Fucking hell. 

While her father didn’t come out and confirm what she suspected, there was little doubt in Allie’s mind. 

The blonde girl that was currently laying in a coma was family.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When an outing with friends turns into an accidental date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I worked diligently over this past weekend to get this done. I feel so bad that updates are so far apart. I'm partially blaming season 6.

Chapter 15

“I’m telling you, Gidge,” Franky began as they walked through the entrance of the restaurant. The tattooed woman held the door open, allowing the older blonde to go first. “They got it bad for each other.” 

“If that’s the case, then why hasn’t one of them made a move?” Bridget asked, turning to give her lover a questioning look. “How long have they known each other?” 

“Couple of weeks,” Franky answered, stopping in front of hostess station. 

A young girl with long brown hair looked up, immediately offering the pair a bright smile and warm greeting. Franky gave the hostess their reservation information. They were led through the isle of tables and booths before shown to a large round table that was set for four people. Franky pulled a chair out, grinning coyly as she motioned for the older blonde to sit. Bridget found it all rather amusing and allowed the tattoo woman to push her to the table. 

“Red has so much baggage,” Franky went on to explain as she pulled her own chair closer to the blonde before taking a seat. “And, Allie is so respectful. I reckon she’d wait twenty years if she had to.”

Bridget smiled wistfully. “How romantic,” she mused then noticed the redhead approaching them. Their backs had been to the entrance and Bea had almost been in earshot when she finally noticed her. Bridget shared a look with Franky, who she surmised was also hoping the redhead hadn’t caught a whiff of their conversation. 

“Hiya Red,” Franky greeted as the redhead walked around the table to her seat. 

“Hi,” she said before turning her attention to the older woman beside her. “Hi, Ms. Westfall. It’s good to see you again.”

“Please, call me Bridget,” the blonde said with a wave of her hand. 

Bea fidgeted in her seat, trying to determine the proper protocol to follow. Should she shake the woman’s hand? Wave? She settled with leaving her hands in her lap and offering a smile that she hoped was genuine. “How have you been?”

“Oh, can’t complain,” she answered with a shrug. 

Bridget glanced over to the tattooed woman, who had scooted her chair even closer. A bright smile graced her lips and her eyes twinkled in happiness. It seemed to be radiating off the pair. The intensity behind their stares almost made Bea feel like she was intruding on a private moment. She wondered briefly if it were truly possible to feel just happiness just by being in the presence of another human being. The idea was such a foreign concept for the redhead, who had spent better part of the past decade in some form of misery. 

First caused by the abuse of her now ex-husband. Then, by the heartache of being locked up in prison and separated from her only daughter. And of course, the big one, she thought to herself bitterly. The death of her daughter.

“You alright there, Red?” Franky’s voice cut through Bea’s reverie. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” she assured her friend with a nod, eyeing how the pair kept her hands clasped together on the table top. “So, what’s good here?” 

“I’m quite partial to their lasagna here,” Bridget answered pulling one of her hands away from Franky’s to pick up a menu. 

The conversation was light after that. Franky informed the waiter that they were still waiting on one more person and ordered a bottle of wine for the table. Bea half listened to the conversation Franky and Bridget were having, deciding instead to scan the room. A habit she had picked up while in prison and she found it hard to break it since living on the outside. It was a quaint restaurant with low lighting. Bea noticed that it was beginning to fill up, many stables occupied by a couple, most likely on a date of their own. 

“You going to dance with me later, Gidge?” she heard Franky ask the older blonde with a low whisper. “We can go to that dance bar up the street.” 

“I don’t see why not,” Bridget answered, almost playfully causing the tattooed woman to giggle. 

It must be nice, Bea found herself thinking with a sigh. She found herself wondering if she would ever find such happiness. She studied the couple before her for a moment, watching as Franky leaned in to give Bridget a quick peck on the lips. It was in that moment, when Bea’s eyes focused past her friend, to the door that she noticed Allie. 

The blonde entered the restaurant in a hurry, catching Bea’s gaze as she spoke with the hostess that was stationed near the door. Bea watched as Allie’s entire face lit up and a bright smile formed on her lips. She couldn’t help but smile in return. She watched as the blonde walked closer. 

“Oi, Red,” Franky chastised with a raised eyebrow. “You like peeping in? All you have to do is ask if you wanna join,” she joked, earning a slight shove from her girlfriend. 

It was a simple mistake to assume that Bea had been smiling at the kissing pair instead of the blonde behind them. It became obvious when the redhead failed to respond. Her gaze fixated on Allie, who had made her way around the table to the empty chair. Franky smirked, shaking her head slightly. 

“Hi,” Allie greeted, solely to Bea before glancing at the couple across from them. “I’m Allie Novak,” she introduced herself, extending her hand across the table to the older blonde. “You must be Bridget.” 

“I am.” 

Bea watched as the blonde interacted with Franky and her date. She could feel her heart begin to beat and as she feared, her mind had begun to replay the very intimate dream she had the night before. She couldn’t help but watch Allie’s hands as she flipped the wine glass over and began to pour herself a glass of wine. She recalled how she dreamt of those same hands gliding over her skin. 

“Red?” Franky’s voice called out.

Bea felt her cheeks begin to burn, embarrassed, not only by where her thoughts wandered, but at being caught staring at the blonde. She cleared her throat before taking a big gulp of her wine. She could feel all three pairs of eyes on her. 

“You alright there?” Franky asked in pure amusement.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” she assured her with a forced smile, deciding to take another long gulp of wine. It was going to be a long night, she decided. 

Allie watched the redhead from the corner of her eye as she listened to Bridget speak about what it was like working at a prison. The only question she could think of to help stimulate the conversation. 

“Everyone there has a story. Learning about those stories and helping those who need guidance, it’s very,” Bridget paused, searching for the right word. “It’s very rewarding.” 

“And, let’s not forget the obvs,” Franky chimed in with a coy smile. “It led you to meet yours truly.”

“Oh, yes, how could I forget?” Bridget mused, returning the smile. 

Allie glanced at Bea with her eyebrows raised. She was resisting the urge to laugh at her boss. Who knew that Franky Doyle was such a softie? She mused, as she watched the pair giggle like a pair of school kids. 

Bea hid her smile behind her hand, obviously catching on to Allie’s amusement. They shared a look that only led to the pair stifling their laughs. 

“Ladies, are we ready to order?” a tall young waiter asked when he walked up to the table several moments later. 

“Lasagna for me,” Bea said as she closed the menu. 

“I will have the linguine pescatore,” Allie told the waiter when he had turned to her. 

“Ravioli di Portobello,” Bridget said and Franky stated she would have the same when it came to her turn. 

“So, Allie,” Bridget began after the menus were collected and the waiter left. “Franky tells me you work at her law firm.” 

The blonde, who had been stealing glances with Bea, looked over at the older woman. “Yeah, that’s right. I serve subpoenas,” she answered. 

“That sounds interesting,” Bridget commented, genuinely intrigued. “How do you like it so far?”

“I rather enjoy it,” the blonde admitted with a shrug. “Much better than my previous occupations, to be sure.” 

Bridget had been about to ask what Allie had previous worked as, when she caught Franky in the corner of her eye giving a silent shake of her head. Instead, she turned her focus to the silent redhead, who had been stealing glances with the blonde during the entire conversation. She found it utterly adorable and could finally see what Franky had explained earlier.

“So, Bea,” she said, catching the redhead’s attention. “You’ve been out for a while now, haven’t you?”

Bea inhaled sharply. She had prepared herself for some questions regarding her past while behind bars, but it still had caught slightly off guard. She nodded with a forced smile. “Yeah, almost as long as Franky.”

“And, what do you do now?” 

“Paramedic.” 

Bridget nodded, seemingly picking up on Bea’s tone. There was little room for conversation with someone like Bea. Each question was met with hesitant responses or one-word answers. Nevertheless, Bridget smiled warmly, before Franky pulled her closer to whisper something in her ear. The pair fell into a conversation in low whispers leaving Bea and Allie in an uncomfortable silence. 

Allie caught Bea’s gaze for the hundredth time since she had arrived. She smiled, relishing in how it seemed to bring a blush to Bea’s cheeks. 

“How was your day today, Bea?” Allie asked, letting her chin rest on the palm of her hand as her elbow rested on the table. 

Bea played with the rolled napkin that had been sitting between them. “It was good,” she answered, unable to stop her mind from wandering once again to the dream she had. She could feel the back of her throat begin to dry and she decided a sip of wine would possibly help. “It was a slow one,” she continued.

Allie quirked an eyebrow. “And, what does ‘slow’ mean for a paramedic?” she asked as she ran her finger on the table top. 

Bea shifted in her chair. “Well, sometimes, shifts could go continuous calls. One after another,” she explained with a shrug. “Maxine and I consider those to be the shifts from hell. We’d be lucky enough to be able to get away to take a piss.” 

Allie giggled at that, causing Bea to laugh in response. It was a nervous laugh, but a laugh all the same and it caused Allie’s heart to soar. 

“Anyway, we consider a slow shift to be one where we get long periods of times between calls,” she went on. “It’s rare though.”

“Reckon it would be,” Allie agreed. “I’d imagine there would always be a car accident or a heart attack that needs attending to.”

Bea nodded in agreement. “It’s weird, ya know. You don’t think of those things until you work on my side,” she commented, her eyes drifting downwards, instantly noticing how close their hands actually were on the table. “Then, it doesn’t affect you the same way anymore. When you hear about another fatality from a car wreck or a person dying from a GSW.”

“GSW?”

“Gunshot wound,” Bea explained then laughed. “Then, you don’t realize that you are using the inside lingo until you are talking to someone not in the field.” 

Allie giggled, mostly because it was so nice to see Bea genuinely amused by something. It was rare to see the older woman smile and when she did, Allie couldn’t help herself from relishing in the beauty of it. She wondered if this was Bea’s true nature, how she possibly was before her ex-husband beat her and tore her spirit apart. 

Franky motioned to the pair across from them using her eyes. Bridget glanced over, noticing how Allie and Bea were sitting, silently, staring at each other with a smile on each of their faces. Bea’s was slightly more reserved, her head bowing slightly to let her curls fall over her face. Allie, on the other hand, was grinning like a child on Christmas morning. 

“I can see what you mean,” Bridget admitted with a smile then swooned. “It’s so romantic.”

“Yeah,” Franky whispered back in agreement. “So, how long you reckon before they bang?”

Bridget shot her girlfriend a disapproving look before lightly smacking her on the shoulder. The action earned her a hearty laugh from that tattooed woman. 

“So, Bea, do you keep in touch with anyone from Wentworth?” Bridget asked a little while later just as their food arrived. 

The redhead looked up from her plate. “Aside from Franky, just Liz Birdsworth, really,” she answered. “Oh, and we ran into Boomer a few weeks back.”

“Jenkins?” Bridget asked, looking to Franky who nodded. “How is she?”

“She volunteers at a shelter that I stayed at,” Allie chimed in. 

“Oh, what does she do there?” Bridget asked. 

Allie made a face. “Um, I’m not exactly sure,” she admitted with a laugh. “She stops by several times a week and hangs out with some of the girls. But, all I’ve seen her do is sit around eating Monte Carlos.”

Bea snorted, which turned into a laugh that was joined by Franky’s own chortle. “Sounds about right to me,” the tattooed woman commented. 

“Ah, I think she keeps some of the young girl’s spirits up,” Allie commented when her own laugher died down. “It’s rough when you’re on your own like that.”

Allie was grateful when Bridget didn’t ask for her to elaborate. She noticed Bea in her peripheral vision, sending her a warm smile and she almost choked on her food when she felt a warm hand over her own. It was for show of support, but regardless, it sent shivers up her spine. When she turned her head back, she noticed Franky watching them with a smirk playing her lips. She tilted her head slightly, silently warning her friend not to draw too much attention. Allie knew if Bea caught on to the knowing stares they were currently receiving, she would bolt. And, there was nothing she wanted to feel more than that soft hand that was still over her own. She wondered briefly if Bea noticed that she hadn’t retracted her hand. When she looked back over, she noticed that the redhead was eyeing their hands in deep thought. 

“Bea?” 

The older woman’s head shot up and instantly pulled her hand back closer to her plate. Allie could almost mourn the loss of contact. 

“You alright?” she asked in concern, noticing the look of fright on the redhead’s face. 

“Yeah, sorry,” she muttered before turning back to her food, but not before quickly glancing back at Allie. 

Bridget was a lovely woman, Allie decided later when the waiter returned to pass out the checks. She watched as Franky began to argue in a low whisper over who should pay for the check until finally relenting and handing over the receipt to the older woman. She smiled, unable to believe that another human had such a strong pull over the tattooed woman. 

The four had a wonderful time and the food was very delicious. Once the checks were settled and paid for, Franky suggested they head to a local bar for some drinks and dancing. Her suggestion was followed by a waggle of her eyebrows towards her girlfriend. Allie looked over to Bea, half expecting her to bow out with an excuse, but was pleasantly surprised to find her nodding in agreement. 

 

Bea sat alone at the high-top table watching her friend dancing with her girlfriend on the small dance floor of the bar. Allie had ventured off in search for a refill for herself and Bea. That left the redhead, sitting awkwardly on her own. She watched Franky dancing, her eyes widening, the tattooed woman came up behind her girlfriend, letting her hands trail up and down her sides. She could feel her cheeks begin to burn at the spectacle, her mind instantly replaying the image from her dream. Of Allie’s hands roaming over her shoulders and breasts while her kisses muffled her moans. 

“You alright?” 

Bea nearly jumped in her seat, turning to find Allie had returned, sliding a new glass of cola in front of her. She took a seat beside her cradling her own drink between her palms. Bea swallowed hard as blue eyes seemed to travel downward slightly before meeting her gaze again. She nodded once, unable to look away from the intense stare she was receiving. 

“Good,” she commented before reaching over to give the redhead’s hand a squeeze. Her attention then shifted to her boss and date on the dancefloor. She couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle as she watched Franky move back in front of Bridget, leaning in to give her a small peck on the lips as her arms wrapped around her midsection. “I never thought Franky to be so,” she paused in search of the right word. “Tame.”

Bea had leaned in when Allie spoke to better hear her over the loud music. She laughed at the last word and the feel of her breathe against Allie’s cheek nearly made the blonde swoon. “She wasn’t always like this,” she mused, still leaning close. 

Allie turned slightly and the motion seemed to bring Bea’s attention to their close proximity. Dark blue eyes traced over Bea’s face, causing the redhead to blush slightly. “I won’t lie, I’m a tad jealous.” 

The comment made Bea’s brow knit together. “Of Franky?” 

Allie gently smacked the redhead’s shoulder. “No, ya dickhead,” she laughed and the sound seemed to bring a smile to Bea’s face. “I mean, of what they seem to have.” 

Bea glanced over at the couple. “I suppose.” 

Allie watched the redhead carefully before playfully bumping her shoulder with her own. “Come on. Haven’t ya ever wanted that?” 

It was a dangerous line of questioning, Allie knew. She had seen how Bea reacted to questions in this realm of topic. The memory of Franky’s all too not subtle teasing floating back to the front of her mind. Alas, she couldn’t help it. 

“Dancing partner?” Bea asked, confused. “I’m not much of a dancer.”

Allie’s lips pursed together, trying not to laugh at the redhead’s innocence. Or at least, she thought it was innocence. For all she knew, Bea was attempting to escape the conversation. 

“I mean, that feeling,” she clarified, allowing her gaze to fall on Bea’s face. “When you fall for someone. That,” she paused, her eyes involuntarily dropped to Bea’s lips “Pull. When you can’t help but feel drawn to them.”

Bea felt her entire body tense and grow hot. They had leaned in much closer to one another and it was doing funny things to her insides. The way Allie was looking at her. The way she spoke to her, in that low intoxicating voice. The movement of her eyes, how they seemed to not just look at her, but look into her. Like she knew, what she was thinking. Maybe even what she was feeling. 

Images from her dream began to replay in her mind. The feeling of hands touching skin. Breath uttering hollow words of encouragement… and love. 

Bea blinked several times, realizing just how close they had leaned in to each other. She sat straighter, effectively putting some distance between her and the blonde. Allie smirked at the action as if knowing fully well the affect she was having on her. Bea blushed, before looking down at her drink. 

“Did I freak you out?” Allie asked, not sounding concerned, but rather amused. 

Bea looked back at her, shaking her head in response. “No, I just…” she began, her thoughts beginning to cloud. The DJ switched to a song that seemed much louder than the previous ones. The beat didn’t help, as it seemed to overtake the entire melody. Bea could feel it thump in her chest… or was that her heart. She shook her head, again. “I think, I’m gonna head out.”

Allie’s brow crinkled in concern. She reached over, laying a gentle hand on Bea’s arm just as she moved to stand. “Are you okay?” she asked and she had to yell to be heard over the music. 

Bea pointed upward then to her hear, indicating how hard it was to focus on a conversation. Allie glanced over at their friends, who were still completely wrapped up in each other. Finally, she stood and leaned close to Bea to bring her mouth close to her ear. Bea swallowed hard when she felt her breath against her skin. 

“I’ll go with you,” she told her. “Go outside. I’ll go let Franky know we are leaving. I’ll be right behind you.” 

Allie moved away, her eye twinkling with excitement. Before Bea could say more, she was up and heading over to the dance floor. She considered just leaving, finding a taxi, and heading home. But then what? Allie was staying in the same house. That would be so awkward, Bea decided. So, with a sigh, she stood, deciding to wait for Allie outside. 

 

Allie pushed through the doors and immediately found Bea, lingering near the side of the building. She called her name, smiling widely when the redhead looked up at her. Franky had been slightly perplexed when she told her they were leaving. Then, of course, a wicked smile took over and a dirty innuendo slipped from her lips. It earned her a smack on the arm from her girlfriend before they said their farewells. 

“So,” Allie began as they walked down the street away from the bar. It was a jarring transition from the loud music. She rubbed her ear a little, still adjusting to the lighter sounds of the occasional car honks and conversations of people that passed by. “Where would you like to go?”

Bea glanced at her watch. It wasn’t terribly late and she was used to the late hours. Although, on a typical night, she would go home and go straight to bed. Allie was silent, patiently waiting for Bea’s input. “I’m not really sure,” she admitted with a shrug. 

“Well, what do you do for fun?” Allie asked. “On a night off, what do you typically find yourself doing?”

“Um,” Bea began, slightly feeling ashamed by what her response would be. The idea of admitting her normal routine consisted of staying under the covers, waiting for her next shift, was not appealing. Although, she had no problem telling Franky. She realized quickly it was admitting something like that to Allie that made it less ideal. 

Allie stopped, a gentle hand on Bea’s shoulder bringing the redhead to a stop. “How about this?” she asked, a twinkle of mischief lighting her blue eyes. “Let’s just… take a stroll?” she suggested.

Bea felt hesitant at first, however one look into Allie’s hopeful eyes led her to nod in agreement. “So, what were you up to today?” Bea asked as they began their walk. “You were already out by the time I woke up,” she commented, then blushed as she realized what she said. When Allie opened her mouth, Bea continued, “Not that I paid attention to that. I just happened to notice on my way downstairs that you were already gone.”

“Bea,” Allie said with a laugh. “It’s fine.”

The redhead nodded then looked away for a moment. When Allie didn’t immediately respond, she turned back. She noticed the somber look that seemed to befall the younger woman. “What’s wrong?” 

Allie bit her lower lip. “Sorry,” she spoke in a low voice. “I was trying not to ruin the fun night we are having.”

Bea watched as Allie’s entire demeanor changed. She felt an odd urge strike her. She wanted to bring the younger woman into a hug. She wanted to wrap her arms around her, bring her head to the crook of her neck, and tell her everything would be okay. She didn’t. Instead, she crossed her arms and waited for Allie to continue. 

“I saw my dad today,” she spoke with a smile that was void of mirth. “I, ah, needed to find out who Nicki’s mum is,” she explained, her eyes watching as Bea nodded, trying to comprehend the bit of news she was sharing. “I’d hope he’d be able to tell me.” 

“How would your dad know?” Bea asked and as the words left her lips, it seemed to hit her. She came to a stop and Allie turned to face her. “Oh, Allie…”

“Right, it was a bit of a surprise,” she said with a shrug. “He didn’t seem too concerned about it. Father of the year, that one.” 

Bea looked almost in pain at the news. “And, her mum?”

“Gave me a name, but he doesn’t know exactly where she could be,” she said with a sigh. “Or at least, he’s saying he doesn’t.”

The redhead nodded, her arms still crossed over her chest. “How are you feeling?”

It was a good question, Allie decided. It was one she wasn’t sure how to answer. To find out she had a sister was… overwhelming. Then to realize that her sister was on the verge of death, well, that was just depressing. Allie sighed heavily and shrugged. 

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I can’t decide if I am more annoyed at my father or just pissed off. Do you know that he actually asked me if I was still gay?”

Bea’s eyes widen, seeing a flash of hurt cross Allie’s face before it was chased away with a loud laugh. “That’s… odd,” the redhead said, lamely. 

“Reckon, he hoped it was a phase,” she said with a shake of her head and she brought a finger up to wipe a tear from her eye. “Then, I told the bastard that I needed Nicki’s next of kin. That she was at hospital. He didn’t even flinch. Fuck,” she cursed as her voice became shaky. 

Bea felt her resolve crumble. Uncrossing her arms, she moved forward, bringing the blonde into a tight hug. It must have taken Allie by surprise, as she felt her body stiffen before relaxing into the embrace. Then, she felt two slender arms wrap around her midsection. Bea ran a hand up and into locks of blonde hair, hoping that the gesture would mean something to the younger woman. 

“It’s okay, Allie,” Bea spoke in a low voice, unable to stop herself from what seemed to come so naturally to her when it came to Allie. “It’s going be okay.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to be longer, but I decided to split it into 2 chapters. I am almost done with the next chapter so that should be up soon. :)

Chapter 16 

 

If Bea was one for words, she could see herself reassuring the blonde that she was perfect the way she was. Gay. Straight. Whatever. But, Bea couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Instead, she held on just a little longer before pulling away. 

Allie kept her arms loosely around the redhead’s torso, smiling gently when Bea let her finger trail over her cheek before tucking strands of her hair behind her ear. If it had been an hour ago, she would be swoon over the gesture. Right then, in that moment, she felt grateful for the redhead’s gesture. She had been keeping it together as best as she could the entire night. But the weight of what she had learned and the not so welcomed reunion with her father had begun to take its emotional toll on the blonde. 

“So, now what?” Bea asked, as she began to back away. 

Allie let her arms fall the moment she felt the redhead begin to put distance between them. “Um, fancy some ice cream?” she asked, the sadness beginning to disappear as she smiled at the suggestion. 

“I meant, with Nicki?” Bea said. 

Allie sighed and nodded. She knew what the older woman had meant, but had hoped to cease the conversation. At least for the rest of the night. She shrugged. “Nicki’s not even her name,” she explained as the pair began walking again. “Emily Novak.” 

Bea nodded, silently digesting the information. She really had no idea what to say, so instead offered a small smile when Allie glanced her way. 

“Her mum may be in the city,” Allie continued as she stuffed her hands into her pockets. 

“If she’s still in the city, Franky may be able to track her,” Bea suggested as she crossed her arms over her chest again. They stopped at a crosswalk, standing awkwardly next to one another as they waited for the light to change. Bea felt an odd yearning take over. It caused her to tighten her arms across her chest as her eyes glanced down at Allie’s hand. She wanted to hold hands with the blonde. The realization had taken her by surprise and she hoped that Allie hadn’t caught on to the conflicted look that was not playing across her face. 

“That’s a good idea,” Allie agreed, nodding before glancing over at the redhead. She noticed how tense the older woman had become. She stood straight, almost hugging herself as she waited. “Hey,” she said, reaching out to place a gentle hand on her arm. “I know that you’ve been asked a million times by Franky and me, but are you alright?” 

Bea nearly jumped at the contact. She seemed to come back to herself all at once and offered a hesitant smile. “Yeah, sorry,” she murmured, before eying the hand that was still placed on her arm. 

“You seem a little…. Distracted tonight,” Allie continued, noticing Bea’s pointed glance at her hand. “Penny for your thoughts?” 

The light changed, but the pair remained where they stood. Bea’s mind raced as the previous night’s dream once again played in her mind. She swallowed hard, because the feel of Allie’s palm on arm, even though the fabric of her sleeve, was almost too much to bare. 

“It’s nothing,” she assured her as she let her arms fall to her sides, effectively causing Allie to pull her hand back. 

Allie raised a tentative eyebrow, almost challengingly. “Well, it’s not nothing,” she said. “Not if it’s got you all jittery.” 

Bea opened her mouth to respond before shaking her head. “Thanks for the concern, Allie…”

“No thanks needed,” Allie interjected with a light smile. “It’s what friends do. Friends… care,” she almost sighed out the word as her eyes traced over Bea’s face. The implication made Bea wonder if friendship was really on Allie’s mind. The blonde took a heavy breath. 

Bea wasn’t exactly sure what was happening. First, they were standing almost a foot apart, the next, they were only inches. Bea felt the back of her throat go dry when she felt Allie’s fingertips along her cheek, almost flinching when she felt Allie tuck her hair behind her ear. The entire time, a coy smile was playing on the blonde’s lips and she was enthralled by Bea’s reactions. A look passed over Allie’s face before she leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on the older woman’s cheek. 

“And, thank you,” she murmured before pulling away. “For everything.”

Bea gave her a look. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Bullshit,” Allie nearly laughed then gave her a warm smile. “You did a lot. Gave me a place stay, even if it wasn’t your idea,” she joked and Bea could see her eyes begin to gloss over. “Listening to me bitch about my fucking father. You don’t know what that means to me,” she finished. “I mean, for the longest time, I thought the only person I had in the world was Kaz. We haven’t spoken in weeks. I don’t even know if she’s trying to find me.” The last sentenced seemed to pain Allie and Bea could tell how much the admission bothered her. She shook her head. “Anyway,” she said. “I just appreciate it.” 

Bea stood, dumbfounded, by the praise she was receiving. She was used to the occasional gratitude she’d receive from loved ones of people she pulled from car wrecks or given CPR to. Sometimes they’d throw their arms around her neck, crying into her jacket, as they spoke almost incoherently. However, this felt different, Bea decided. It felt more… intimate. 

Allie let out a laugh as she wiped her eyes. “Anyway,” she chuckled as she glanced over at the light that once again changed. “We’ve stood through about three red lights,” she mused. “How about we get going, yeah? I was serious about that ice cream.”

Bea didn’t know what to say and could only nod before following close behind the blonde as they crossed the street 

 

“So, where the hell did you and blondie get off to?” Franky asked the next morning before wagging her eyebrows. “Or, is the better question, did you get off?” 

Bea shot her friend a disgusted look. “Ew, Franky.” 

Franky laughed as she poured herself a cup of coffee. She was still donning her outfit from the night before, having only returned to the house a few minutes before. Bea had allowed herself to sleep in later than usual. She opted for a bowl of cereal and she sat at the kitchen bench, half reading the newspaper. Well, tried to read. It was hard to read when her mind was clouded with unwanted thoughts. 

Thoughts that included images of Allie’s head thrown back against the pillow. Bea recalled the way she kissed down her shoulder, across her chest until she reached the hemline of her bra. She glanced up, finding Allie encouragingly nodding. Bea pulled one side of her bra down, revealing Allie’s breast. She swallowed hard before placing a gentle kiss close to her nipple before taking the small bud into her mouth. She could do nothing but focus on her task while Allie’s moans drowned out everything else. She could feel fingers in her hair. It was so real.

“What the hell is wrong with your face?” Franky asked, causing Bea to turn an even brighter shade of red. 

Just a dream, Bea reminded herself for the hundredth time since waking up. It had been the second dream of she had of the blonde and it had been even more erotic than the first. “Nothing. It was just a long night as all.” 

Franky’s eyes narrowed. “Well, Red, now I have to know,” she smiled, mischievously before she leaned her hip against the counter and gave her friend a pointed stare. “What happened?” 

Bea looked up from her reading. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit,” Franky nearly snorted before pointing at her friend using her cup. “I can already see your cheeks turning red. C’mon. What happened?”

“We talked.” 

“Oh, sexy.”

“About Nicki.” 

Franky’s face deflated and she let out a single, “Oh,” before slumping slightly. 

Bea wasn’t quite sure how much Allie would want her to divulge. She figured that she would eventually ask the tattoo woman for help finding Nicki… or rather, Emily’s mother. She decided it would be best to leave that up to the blonde. She let out a deep sigh before taking another spoonful of cereal, effectively letting Franky know that the conversation was over. 

“So,” Franky ventured and her mischievous smile returned. “I talked to Liz the other day.” 

The spoon stopped halfway to her mouth and Bea glanced up at her friend. “Oh? And, what’d she have to say?” she asked, coolly, and her mind replayed the entire conversation she had with the older woman. 

Franky shrugged. “Not much, just that she suggested I’d talk to you,” she ventured, the implication in her voice. Franky knew more than she was letting on and for Bea’s sake, she wasn’t owning up to it. 

Bea sighed and let her spoon fall into her bowl, before leaning slightly to make sure Allie was not in the hallway. She let her gaze fall, unable to meet her friend’s stare as she spoke. “She reckons I fancy Allie.” 

There was silence for a long moment before Bea gathered the courage to look up. Franky stood, holding her cup in both hands with a smile that could only be described as pride. The younger woman’s eyebrows rose up expectantly and Bea’s shoulders slumped. 

“Is it that obvious?” she asked in a low voice. And, it was a legitimate question. Had she really been the last to know? Her own feelings having completely gone over her head. 

Her tattooed friend looked completely amused and she held up her forefinger and thumb to making a gesture that could only mean ‘just a little’. Bea looked completely deflated and it changed Franky’s demeanor completely. She set her cup down on the counter before leaning close to her redheaded friend. 

“What’s wrong, Red?” Franky watched as Bea gave a half shrug, reminding her immediately of a little kid. “Is it the woman part that’s bothering you?”

She looked up at that and thought it over before shaking her head. “No,” she answered. “Not really.” 

The tattooed woman tilted her head slightly to try and catch Bea’s gaze. “Is it because of Debbie?” Her voice was lower, but the name caused Bea’s head to shoot up. She didn’t answer and the silence was enough for Franky. “It’s okay to be happy, Red,” she assured her. “It’s okay… to move on.”

 

Allie slowly opened her eyes, groaning slightly at the slight headache she was met with. She cursed. It wasn’t like she had overdone it with the wine or the one drinks at the bar afterwards. She hadn’t even gotten to her refill before she had decided to follow Bea out the door. 

She laid backwards, stretching her limbs and her mind replayed the events of the night. She grinned lazily at the memory. Bea had looked beautiful and it took her breath away when she first walked into the restaurant. The older woman seemed to be more at ease in her presence and Allie took that as a very good sign. 

There were a few moments of concern, Allie noted, where Bea seemed to be bothered by something. Whatever had been on her mind, it had turned her entire face red. 

Allie stifled a giggle in her blanket. She had an inkling on what had been on her mind. She wasn’t some maiden, after all, and had caught some of the looks she was receiving. It made her heart soar when she realized what she was witnessing. It just solidified what she had known since that night when Bea carried her and then assisted in dressing her. 

“That minx,” she mused before throwing the blankets off to start her day. She made a pitstop to the bathroom before heading down the stairs. The sound of voices from the kitchen let her know that both Franky and Bea were up and about. 

“What’s wrong, Red?” she could hear Franky asked, her voice full of concern. It stopped Allie in her tracks. “Is it the woman part that’s bothering you?”

Allie felt her stomach flip. She didn’t want to eavesdrop and considered interrupting their conversation. She bit her lower lip. She didn’t want to intrude. She placed a hand on the wall and waited. 

“No,” she heard Bea reply and the tone in her voice made her heart break slightly. “Not really.” 

There was a significant pause before Franky began again. “Is it because of Debbie?”

Who’s Debbie? Allie immediately thought. 

“It’s okay to be happy, Red,” Franky’s voice was soft and full of reassurance. “It’s okay… to move on.”

“If only I could believe that,” she heard Bea respond and the sound of her voice made her heart break instantly. 

“Red,” Franky began once more after a short pause. “Does Allie know?”

The blonde’s eyebrows crinkled and she couldn’t help but wonder what the question meant. She had an inkling that Bea had a past that she had barely discovered. She had picked up as much in the pieces of information Bea had already provided. Either by accident or in confidence. Bea always had a look that indicated she had told too much. Each time, Allie felt the urge to take her in her arms and assure her that there was no need to fear. It was not too much, but the opposite, it was not enough. Allie wanted to know more. She wanted to know it all. 

However, this was not how she wanted to know. Whatever it was, she wanted to be told directly. 

“Good morning guys,” she said as she strolled into the kitchen, noticing how the pair nearly jumped in their seats. 

Bea kept her gaze downwards as Allie moved around the bench to pour herself a bowl of cereal. When their gazes met, Allie grinned, causing Bea to smile despite herself. Franky shook her head at the scene as she took a generous sip of her coffee. 

“Righto,” she laughed. “I’m gonna get ready for work. Allie, you need a ride today?” 

“Nah. I’m gonna stop by hospital on my way in,” Allie explained as she poured milk into the bowl. “See how Nicki is… or um, I guess Emily,” she said with a short laugh, earning a confused look from the tattooed woman. “I’ll explain it all later. If that’s okay?” 

Franky nodded, still smiling coyly at the pair before leaving. Allie took a seat beside the redhead, smiling as they stole glances at one another. 

“Good morning, Bea,” Allie said and the tone of her voice was enough to make Bea’s heart skip a beat. 

“Good morning, Allie.” 

They sat, as they did every morning during their meals, in a comfortable silence. They spoke about what their plans were for the day, leading Allie to ask if the redhead wanted to meet for dinner. Bea had an overnight shift, causing Allie to deflate slightly. She had hoped to spend the evening in the redhead’s company. The more time they spend together, the more she craved. And, she was starting to feel her self-control beginning to break. 

Allie, no girl likes desperation, she chastised herself.

But, Bea already seemed to catch on to the blonde’s shift in mood. With a careful smile, she cupped Allie’s hand with her own. Blue questioning eyes had darted up to meet brown ones. 

“How about tomorrow night?” Bea asked, more calmly than she felt. “Perhaps, we could go out…” She trailed off, leaving the implication hang. Allie’s eyes widen in surprise. 

“To eat?” she asked for clarification. 

“To eat,” Bea said with a curt nod.

The smile on Allie’s lips widened. “I would love to,” she murmured, before her eyes involuntarily moved downward to Bea’s own lips.

The action was not lost on Bea, who couldn’t stop herself from glancing down at Allie’s own lips. She hadn’t realized how much closer they were leaning, Allie having abandoned her spoon to let her hand brush against Bea’s own cheek. 

It was the same pull that Bea had felt the night before. When they were sitting so close at the bar and then once more when they stood at the crosswalk. It felt much stronger than the night she had helped Allie get dressed. When she had stood back, realizing how close they were standing, how she could almost feel the blonde’s breath against her face. 

Like she could now. 

Allie’s eyes seemed to darken considerably and Bea swallowed hard. She let her own spoon fall and shakily, she reached up to brush her own fingers across Allie’s cheek before letting her palm cradle the side of her face. Her skin was soft, she noted, and warm under her fingertips. She closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable, welcoming it. 

The loud shrill of a cell phone cut through their spell. Bea sat up and away from Allie, blinking several times. Allie took a deep breath, coming back to herself, before reaching down to grab her mobile from her pocket. 

“Hello,” she croaked, before clearing her throat and trying again. “Hello?” 

Her blue eyes watched Bea carefully and the redhead turned to look down at her food, barely believing what had almost happened. 

“Yeah, I’m one of the girls from the shelter she was staying at,” she said into the phone then mouthed ‘hospital’ to Bea when she glanced over in confusion. “No, I’ve been able to track down her family yet,” she explained, sorrowfully. “What’s going on?”

Bea watched as a series of emotions play across the blonde’s face. First confusion, then shock, until the unmistakable look of sadness. She reached out, taking Allie’s hand into her own. After thanking whoever was on the other end of the line, she ended the call. They sat in silence for a long moment, Bea waiting for her to speak. 

“Nic- um, I mean, Emily,” Allie began as her eyes watered. “She’s gone.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I had originally wrote this chapter along with chapter 16, but then my computer didn't save my word doc correctly so I lost half the chapter. My advice before you read, listen to the Bleachers. Specifically 'I wanna get better' and 'Wild Heart'. I wrote a specific scene with these songs incorporated and you'll know when you read it why. ;)

Chapter 17 

 

“And, this is the kitchen,” Allie announced as she opened one of the wooden double doors to allow the younger girl through. “Everyone pretty much labels their own if they happen to bring something in. But, generally it’s a free for all.”

The younger girl peered in, taking in the room before nodding to Allie. “It’s… nice,” she said, hesitantly. 

Allie snorted as they returned to the hallway. “You’re so full of shit,” she mused before motioning to another entry way that led to the stairs. “But, hey, I get it,” she assured her and placed a gentle hand on the girl’s shoulder. “I’ve been in and out of this place for years. It’s not much and nothing like what you’re probably used to, but it’s safe.”

The younger girl nodded, meekly, but remained silent. She looked back up at Allie with frightful blue eyes and it broke the older woman’s heart slightly. The girl had shown up at the steps of the shelter late the night before, as they all seemed to. She hadn’t explained her situation. Kaz had awoken Allie up a few hours later, requesting that the blonde give the girl a tour of the place and help settle her in. 

Allie studied the girl over. She was blonde with blue eyes and Allie reckoned she wasn’t much younger than she was. The girl looked back, seemingly noticing Allie’s blatant staring. “Let’s head upstairs, yeah?” 

“Sure.”

“I’ll show you to your room,” she told her. 

“So,” the girl began, hesitantly. “How long have you lived here?” 

Allie glanced back at her, surprised by the question. “Uh, well, a few years now,” she answered with a shrug. “I’m what they call a frequent flyer. I leave. I come back. I leave again. Come back.” 

She nodded, lost in thought as they made their trek up the stairs. “Why’d you leave home?” 

Allie stopped abruptly, turning to look back at her. “Why’d you leave yours?” The younger girl’s eyes widened in shock, before pursing her lips together. The silence was the answer and Allie placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Look, if you aren’t ready to share your story, that’s fine. But, you can’t ask questions that you aren’t ready to answer yourself.” 

She nodded in understanding, mumbling a quick apology that Allie quickly waved off. They made it to a door that would be the girl’s room for the duration of her stay. “Home sweet home,” Allie replied before opening the door. The girl walked in, looking around the small room in silence. Allie went on, explaining that there were clothing donations and job postings. “Well, I’ll leave you to it,” she said when she was finished as she clapped her hands together. “Lunch is usually served around noon. So, you can go ahead and get settled in.”

“Thank you, Allie,” the girl replied with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. 

“No problem,” she replied, turning slightly before realization hit her. “Oh, yeah, I’m sorry. I didn’t catch your name.”

She looked back at Allie. “Um, Nicki.” 

Allie nodded. “Very nice to meet you, Nicki,” she said with a smile. “Take care of yourself, yeah?” 

 

 _Present day…_

 

It had been two weeks since Allie had received the awful phone call from the hospital. Her half-sister, the one she didn’t even knew existed, had passed away. Allie felt a mixture of emotions. Guilt, because she had spent the previous night in the company of friends instead of at the hospital. 

“You shouldn’t think that way,” Bea had chastised her when Allie had admitted as much. It had been a few days since they had gotten the news. Their dinner plans on been put on hold. Instead, they met with Franky, filling the tattooed woman with the information Allie had received from her father. Bea had just returned from picking up dinner while Franky fled to her girlfriend’s house for the night. She found the blonde curled up on the couch, her cheeks wet with tears. 

“I know,” Allie conceded with a sigh. “I just can’t help it. I could have done more.” 

Bea bit her lower lip, a look crossing her face that made Allie believe there was something important the redhead wanted to say. Instead, she sat in silence, letting her hand rub over her shoulder before bringing the blonde into an embrace. 

Allie felt great sense of loss. Which felt strange, since she didn’t really know her half-sister. 

“It’s probably just the feeling that you missed out on something,” Bea intuitively said after a long moment of silence. There was something in Bea’s voice that gave Allie pause. She didn’t comment on it, but rather mulled over what the redhead said. 

Bea had been a giant comfort to her over the past two weeks. It made Allie’s heart swell to think of the texts she received where the redhead was checking in to see how she was. Or the occasional mornings when they ran into each other, Bea would offer a quick hug or squeeze of her arm. It had been awkward the first couple of times. The hugs were often hasty with Bea barely placing an arm around Allie before quickly pulling away. Then, Bea seemed to grow comfortable and confident. The hugs lasted longer, and Bea would bring Allie into a tighter embrace. Any other time, Allie would have thought to make a move. But, this was not some girl. It was Bea Smith and she gathered it would be best to let the older woman make the first move. Any move. 

“You two have seemed to have grown close,” Franky commented earlier that morning after the trio ate breakfast. She watched, quietly as Bea had given the blonde a quick hug before heading upstairs 

“Piss off,” Allie muttered as she placed the dishes in the sink to soak. She had promised the redhead to take care of them after work. Allie had taken a few days after her sister passed away. When she did return, Franky had insisted on shorter shifts and less subpoenas. Between having gotten bashed and the loss of her sister, Allie felt like her new friends were becoming more like her caregivers. A notion that Franky immediately dismissed. 

Franky grinned before turning solemn. “Listen, I pulled an initial background check on both Emily Novak and Lara Finch, but it turned up nothing.” 

Allie looked deflated as she turned the tap off. “Figures.” 

“Hey, don’t get discouraged,” Franky continued. “There’s other things we can try. Social media searches. Maybe even search of the newspaper archives at the library.” Franky paused for a moment, craning her neck slightly to catch Allie’s gaze. “We are going to find her.”

Allie tried to smile, trying to look more convinced than she felt. If she wanted to be found, she wouldn’t make it so damn hard, the blonde thought grimly. “In the meantime, my sister sits in the morgue waiting to be identified,” Allie commented, eyes rolling in resignation. 

The trio had decided it best to allow the hospital to label Emily Novak as a Jane Doe. This gave them time to track down a family member before a planned service. Bea had assured the blonde that they had a few weeks, but with two weeks already having past, it left Allie with little hope.

Later that day, Allie found herself at her desk, trying hard to focus on her assignment. Franky had stepped out of the office for a few hours, claiming she was meeting with a new client. She toyed with a pencil, her thoughts jumbled over everything that had happened over the past month and a half. 

What were the chances? She wondered briefly. Of all the places in Melbourne, she’d run into her half-sister at the women’s shelter. 

She thought back to the morning she had met the young teen. Kaz had asked her to give her a tour of the place. It made her wonder if the older blonde had an inkling that she had pawned off a relative to Allie or if she had been just as clueless. The thought gave her pause. She took her mobile out, scrolling through the list of numbers she had programmed. Kaz had been included, just out of instinct. The same instinct almost led her to add her dealer’s number, which she immediately deleted in loathing despair. 

Her thumb hovered over Kaz’s name before she finally pressed down. She felt her heart skip a beat as she placed the mobile to her ear, waiting for the older woman to answer. She didn’t, which was no surprise as she was calling from a new number. She waited for the voice message to conclude and the following beep before she spoke. 

“Um, hey, Kaz,” she began, feeling rather silly at how nervous she was being. “It’s Allie. Listen, um, I got a new number. I’ve been staying with some new friends. I’m good. I just,” she paused, wondering how she could word the events over the last month. “I just really need to talk to you is all. If you could give me a call back? Okay, love ya Mama.” 

She ended the call, feeling a sense of defeat. She had no idea if the older blonde had tried to search for her or not. No idea if her call would be welcomed or viewed as a nuisance. A ping brought Allie out of her thoughts and she glanced down at her mobile. A giant smile filled her lips as she noticed she had received a message from Bea.

**Bea: This hazelnut creamer makes my coffee taste like shit.**

Allie giggled, glancing around to make sure she hadn’t disrupted her co-workers. She typed up her response. 

**Allie: Didn’t you buy it?**

**Bea: No! Franky got it during the last shopping, but the little shit didn’t bother to get our normal creamer, too.**

Allie smiled, picturing the redhead hovering over a newspaper grimacing at her cup of coffee. These types of texts were becoming frequent between the pair. At times, Allie wondered if Bea had been searching for any excuse to send her a message that would spark a conversation. 

**Allie: You could just get a coffee at the coffee place?**

**Bea: I’d hate to waste this.**

Allie smiled and shook her head. The texts went on back and forth for a few minutes. Allie had been unable to stop herself from teasing the redhead. She checked her watch, happy to see that her shift would be over in a few hours. 

**Allie: Will I see you later?**

**Bea: It’s my off day.**

**Allie: I’m taking that as a yes.**

**Bea: See you at home later.**

Allie’s heart leaped at the words. Home. What a concept. She had bounced back and forth between the shelter and Kaz’s home for years. She had tried to live on her own for a short while which resulted in her third or fourth relapse. She hadn’t had a home since living with her parents. While she was aware that she was only staying with friends, she couldn’t help but feel at home. With a smile, she placed her mobile back on the desk while another thought crossed her mind. She felt at home with Bea. 

 

Bea stood in front of her own home later that day, trying to work her nerve up to go inside. She felt anxious ever since her text chat with Allie that morning. She couldn’t stop the smiles that found her as she read each message. Allie had convinced her to pour her cup of coffee into the sink. After much back and forth and teasing. Bea placed the cup into the sink and eyed the dishes that Allie had volunteered to take care. Eventually. 

Don’t you date touch them! Allie had texted her. It was as if she had read the redhead’s mind. The blonde had been adamant that she enjoy her day off. 

She tried. She really had. A run did nothing to clear her mind. The drive to the prison and her subsequent short conversation with her former cellmate, Liz, had done nothing to ease her nerves, either. 

“I almost kissed Allie,” she had all but blurted out as soon as they had hugged. Liz had pulled back slightly to regard her friend with a baffled look. “Twice actually,” she amended before taking a seat. 

“Ah, well,” she began with a slight nod before curiosity got the better of her. “Why didn’t ya?” 

“The second time, we were... interrupted,” Bea explained with a shrug. She thought back to the first time, when they stood at the street light. “It was Allie who stopped it the time before that.” 

Liz listened carefully, watching her friend with keen interest. She had never seen the redhead like this before. There was an openness about her and almost a hint of excitement as she explained. “And, you haven’t tried again since?” 

Bea nodded. “Yeah. That had been two weeks ago. And, I think we may have almost kissed a couple of times before that.”

“And, well, why haven’t you? Kissed her, I mean?” 

The redhead took pause at the question before merely shrugging. She couldn’t really pinpoint the exact reason. She recounted to Liz of what happened over the last few weeks. 

“I’m sorry to unload all this on you,” Bea sighed when she finished. “I hope you don’t think I only come to visit you just to talk about… me,” she let her gaze fall downward, almost shamefully.

Liz immediately reached over and placed a gentle hand on the redhead’s arm. “Oh, no, Love,” she nearly cooed. “I don’t mind it. Hell, it beats the drama I see in here,” she said with a laugh. “You remember how it was.”

There was a moment of silence that past between them. Bea remembered all too well the sort of drama that laid behind the gates. It suddenly made Bea feel silly to have made the journey just to get the older woman’s opinion. Liz seemed to catch on to Bea’s thoughts and immediately patted her arm. 

“C’mon now, what’s really bothering you?” 

Bea exhaled, trying to put on a brave face but knew instantly it would do no good. Liz knew her too well. And, the older woman had a knack for getting the redhead comfortable to open up. 

“I’m afraid to cross that line,” she spoke in a low voice, unable to meet Liz’s steady gaze. “If I kiss her, and the kiss happens,” she went on, unsure of how to word her thoughts. “And, it doesn’t turn out the way… I expected it to.” She paused for a moment, feeling her eyes begin to sting. “Allie is such a sweetheart. I’d hate to lose her as a friend if this doesn’t pan out…”

“Ahh,” Liz murmured as she sat back in her chair to better regard her friend. “Well, you want to know what I think?” 

Bea closed her eyes as she recounted the conversation. She stuffed her hands into her pocket and took a deep breath. “It’s better to try and fail, then to never try and regret,” she spoke Liz’s words in a low whisper. Taking another deep breath, she began her trek up the walkway and to the doorway. 

She threw her bag to the floor just as she closed the door behind her. Franky had plans to spend the night with Bridget, leaving her alone with Allie for the night. She had briefly wondered if Allie was already home from work. The music that she could hear playing from the kitchen had immediately given her an answer. 

It was an upbeat melody that sounded almost like an anthem to the redhead. Bea stopped near the doorway and peered into the kitchen. She hadn’t really meant to spy, but whatever Allie was up to, she couldn’t bring herself to interrupt. And, she was glad she hadn’t barged in because the sight before her made her heart skip a beat. 

A decent size speaker was on the counter and beside it, Allie stood with her back to Bea. She had been cleaning the dishes, her arms deep in the water filled sink as she sang along with the song playing from the speaker. 

“While my friends were getting high and chasing girls down parkway lines,” she began, pulling out the dish wand from the water and situated it near her mouth so she could mimic singing in to a microphone. “I was losing my mind ‘cause the love, the love, the love, the love, the love that I gave, wasted on a nice face.”

Bea smiled, trying to hold back a laugh, as she watched on. Allie continued to sing as she returned to scrubbing a dish then placing it on the drying rack. Bea moved past the threshold and leaning against the doorway, she crossed her arms over her chest.

Allie was still unaware of her audience. As the verse ended and the main chorus begun, the blonde pulled the dish wand out of the water again, spinning around as she sang. “I wanna get better!” 

It was she as she spun that she caught sight of red hair and paused. Dish wand in the air and her mouth half opened, she caught Bea’s amused gaze. Allie blinked, suddenly aware that she was dripping water all over the floor. 

“That’s quite the performance,” Bea said with a laugh, watching as Allie scrambled to put the dish wand back into the water and wipe her hands on a dish rag. 

“Sorry for the water,” Allie said, unable to stop her own laugh. There was no embarrassment, only amusement. Bea found herself slightly jealous at how comfortable Allie seemed to be with herself. 

“It’s fine,” she said as she stepped into the room. “What are you listening to?” 

“Oh, some American band,” she answered, reaching to turn it off.

“No, no, leave it.” Allie’s bright blue eyes studied her for a moment and Bea smiled. “You have a great singing voice.”

“Pfffft,” Allie said, waving a hand. 

“No seriously,” Bea insisted, stepping closer. “I can’t sing for shit.”

Allie laughed, moving forward to grab Bea’s arm and pulling her behind the kitchen counter. “Come on then, let’s hear it.” 

“What? Oh, no Allie, I can’t,” Bea protested, feeling her nerves get the better of her. 

“C’mon Bea, there’s no one here but us,” Allie pointed out, as she raised an eyebrow. The sounds of the room began to change as the next song begun. Allie cleared her throat. “They closed the parkway late last night. And as I sat with the echoes of,” Allie began then shouted almost obnoxiously, “Lies that I told!” 

Bea shook her head in amusement. The redhead became mortified as Allie began to sway with the music, moving Bea’s arms in tempo. “Well, everything has changed. And now, it’s only you that matters,” Allie continued, her blue eyes meeting Bea’s instantly. 

The air seemed to thicken around them and Bea swallowed hard. Allie moved in close, smiling mischievously. “And I will find any way to your wild heart!” 

As the song continued, Allie would throw her arms up in the air or grab a hold of Bea’s arm trying to encourage the redhead to join in. Finally, as the song finished, Bea was almost in tears as she laughed at the blonde’s antics. Allie reached over, pressing a button on the iPod. 

“Alright, let’s go. Now, you have to join in,” she insisted. 

“Oh no, Allie, I can’t.”

“Bea, Bea,” Allie’s stern voice broke through her resistance as she rubbed her hands over the redhead’s shoulders.

How could she deny Allie anything when she looked at her like that? Two dark blue eyes looked back at her, filled with amusement and another emotion that Bea couldn’t quite put a name to. She slowly nodded and tried her best when the first verse started. Allie was nothing but encouraging, even as Bea stumbled over words and sang off key. By the second verse, Bea felt herself loosen up and grow more comfortable in the moment. It was a sight that Allie thoroughly enjoyed watching. 

They danced around the small kitchen with their arms sometimes in the air, sometimes around each other. Bea grabbed a large wooden spoon that was sitting on the drying rack. She spun back towards Allie, using the spoon as an imaginary microphone. “Got a find anyway, to your wild heart!” They sung together, and Allie leaned closer. She placed her hands over Bea’s as they shared the spoon, both lost in the silliness of singing into the wooden handle. “I will find any way to your wild heart! Ohh ohh! Your wild heart!” 

Bea hadn’t noticed their proximity until the song began to wind down. As their laughs subsided, Bea gaze caught Allie’s. The blonde’s eyes glanced downwards at their hands, her own laying on top of Bea’s. The air seemed to thicken around them and the room grew silent when the song finally ended. Bea felt her entire body tingle. She knew what Allie was silently asking for. The way her dark blue eyes fell to her lips before looking back up. She knew all she had to do was glance down or move slightly forward. It would be all the permission needed. But she felt frozen in place. 

“You’re shaking, Bea,” Allie spoke, and her voice was a whole octave lower than normal. It seemed to stir something in Bea’s stomach, making her swallow hard. 

“It’s cold in here,” she answered with a shrug, deciding it was time to break away from Allie’s grasp. 

However, Allie wouldn’t let her. 

Bea had half turned, only to stop when she felt the blonde’s hands tighten. Allie watched Bea’s every reaction as she took the spoon from her hands. She couldn’t look away as she set the spoon the kitchen counter behind her, all while she kept her other hand tightly over Bea’s. 

Bea’s heart began to race as Allie moved closer. “It’s not cold,” the blonde pointed out as she leaned in closer.

It’s better to try and fail, then not and regret, Bea thought to herself. She closed her eyelids and a millisecond later, she felt a pair of soft lips against her own. She could heart her heartbeat pounding in her ears. Allie’s lips moved against her while Bea stood frozen. The blonde caught on quick to the stillness and pulled away, a look a regret on her face.

“I’m so sor-“

Bea didn’t let her finish, having found her own, small bundle of courage hidden somewhere. Whether it was Liz’s words continuously playing in the back of her mind. Or it was the unexpected feeling of mourning Allie’s lips against her own. Bea darted forward, placing her hands against Allie’s cheeks and capturing her lips with her own.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is rather short. I'm sorry. I've been a having a small bout of writer's block in the last few chapters. I wanted to put something out before my trip to London in a few weeks. I'm hoping after I meet Jenko and Dani, the inspiration will return and I can go forward with this story. :) Anyway, hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 18

 

Allie couldn’t hold back the moan that rumbled in the back of her throat as they kissed. Dishes were forgotten, and Allie dropped the sponge as her entire focus shifted solely on the redhead in front of her. She felt Bea’s hands travel up, and they were trembling as she placed them against Allie’s face. 

She’s so nervous, she thought, smiling into the kiss. She reached up to cover Bea’s hands with own. The redhead tilted her head, the action sending the pair into a more passionate kiss. Allie moved closer, reaching for the older woman to pull their bodies together. 

It was worth it. Oh, so worth it when she heard the redhead gasp and then moan. 

Bea’s own arms snaked around Allie’s torso. It all felt like too much, but not enough at the same time. Allie slowly turned them before pushing the redhead up against the kitchen counter. She placed a gentle palm against Bea’s cheek, enjoying every little sound the older woman made. It stirred Allie on. She pushed further against Bea, enjoying the feeling of their bodies flush against one another. When she felt Bea stiffen and the movement of her lips pause, Allie pulled away. 

The only sound in the room was of them, breathing hard. So, they stood like that for a long moment. Allie pressed her forehead against Bea's. 

“Wow,” Bea whispered, swallowing hard. 

Allie pulled back, to look at Bea fully. They shared a smile and then a short laugh. “I’ve been dying to do that for a while,” Allie admitted, enjoying how the admission seemed to make Bea smile wider. Maybe forever, Allie thought. 

“Really?” 

“Really,” Allie said, placing a gentle kiss on Bea’s cheek. She enjoyed the way the redhead inhaled sharply. Allie moved back, allowing some space between them. She didn’t dare stray far. Not now that she was finally able to hold the redhead, to kiss her.  


It amazed Allie. How this woman affected her. The last two weeks had been horrible, to be sure. Having lost a sister that she never knew existed. Having to visit with her father, who she hadn’t seen in years and hoped she would never see again. She had felt so many emotions in the last few weeks. Anger. Sadness. Confusion. But, in that moment, as she stood just inches away from this beautiful woman, she could only feel one thing. 

Love. 

Allie had realized how deeply she felt for Bea only a few days prior. Although, she probably should have seen it coming. It hadn’t been some grand epiphany for the blonde. She had seen it coming. Since the first day she had met the redhead, she felt it. Then, with every passing day they spent together under the same roof, she felt it grow. An almost painful yearning. And, this unbridled affection. 

Of course, Allie was painfully aware that her affection may not be reciprocated by the redhead. But, she could tell that Bea felt something. Even in those first few days of knowing one another. There was something beneath that nervous trembling and unsure demeanor. Allie could see that the redhead was obviously attracted to her. A good sign, to be sure. But, there was something else. Something that perhaps Bea herself didn’t see or couldn’t admit. 

Allie watched as Bea ran her hands from her shoulders down her arms before linking their hands together. She smiled sweetly at the wide-eyed expression on Bea’s face. Allie realized that she was witnessing Bea discovering something. She had an inkling that Bea wasn’t used to being so close to another human being. To touch another. To love another. 

Must be surreal, Allie thought as she brought Bea’s hands up to plant a gentle kiss on each knuckle. 

Bea freed a hand to place it against Allie’s cheek. She watched as the blonde closed her eyes, leaning into the touch as Bea rubbed her thumb against her skin. They were silent like that for a while. Then, Allie opened her eyes and her gaze moved slowly from Bea’s own and landed to her lips. A silent request. 

I want you, Bea thought, because the words couldn’t find their way to her lips. I want you so bad. 

 

She leaned forward, bringing Allie into another hungry kiss. Bea couldn’t exactly say how long this kiss lasted. Minutes? An hour? Time seemed to stop whenever she was with Allie. Like the rest of the world ceased to exist and the only thing that matter were the moments they shared. 

Bea wasn’t exactly naïve in all this. She could tell Allie wanted her. She had picked up the hints. The way she looked at Bea with those dark blue eyes. The way her lip curled up into that devious smile of hers. Just about everything Allie did gave it away. 

Just as the kiss grew more passionate, Allie pulled away. Just as she had before. She met Bea’s gaze with a smile. That cheeky smile that seemed to make Bea’s knees weak. 

“You know,” she began, her voice low as if she were telling Bea a secret. “We never did go out to dinner like we planned.” 

Bea’s eyes widen. “Yes, I remember,” she stated, her voice slightly more husky than usual. She could tell the affect it had on Allie. If the way her eyes darkened was any indication. 

“We could go eat,” Allie began as she pressed gentle kisses along Bea’s jawline. “Tonight? If you aren’t busy?”

“No,” Bea began before correcting herself. “I mean, no I’m not busy.” 

Allie smiled against Bea’s jaw just as she placed another kiss there. She couldn’t seem to help herself, Bea noticed. And, Bea had no intention of asking her to stop. Quite the contrary. If anything, she wanted Allie to not stop. She had an inkling Allie didn’t want to either, which she reckoned was the real reason behind the dinner suggestion. 

“What are you hungry for Bea?” 

The question so innocent, but not at the same time. Bea closed her eyes for a long moment. She knew Allie had meant the question the way it sounded. Perhaps this was a subtle way for Allie to ask permission to continue.She drew a shaky breath as she felt Allie’s hand at her hip move upwards, inching closer to Bea’s chest. She could feel herself throb as she felt the blonde’s thumb brush up against the underside of her breast.

It took both of them by surprise and Allie inhaled sharply. Bea had pulled back and her hand found its way behind Allie’s neck, pulling her forward. This kiss was different. Bea could already tell. The way Allie immediately turned her head, opening her mouth, allowing access to Bea’s own tongue. 

She felt something primal take over then. Wrapping her arms around Allie, she pushed her backwards, turning her so she was leaning against the sink. It was odd to feel another body against her own after so long. And, stranger still to feel another woman’s breasts against her own. 

Bea could still remember the last time she had been in bed with Harry. It was one of the roughest that she could ever recall. He was angry about something. When was he not angry? Grabbing her by the back of the neck, he had pushed her forward until she fell on top of the bed. His weight followed, crushing her against the mattress. 

Fuck, Bea thought, suddenly overcome by the memory. 

“Bea?” Allie called out to her and Bea realized that she had pulled away from the kiss. 

She looked up at the dark blue eyes that stared back at her in concern. Then, she noticed the hand she had placed on Allie’s chest, keeping her in place against the sink. 

“Bea, are you alright?” she asked, bringing her hand up to touch her now wet cheeks. 

“I,” she began, before closing her eyes and shaking her head. “I’m sorry.” She dropped her arm and stepped away. 

“Bea, what’s wrong?”

She could barely hear the question. Her focus was elsewhere, trying desperately to push back the memory of Harry. And, of course as it always had, the memories of Debbie that followed. Bea pulled her arm out of Allie’s grasp, not even realizing it was there to begin with. 

Allie watched, confused by what had happened. One moment they were sharing in the most passionate kiss she had ever shared with another woman. The next, Bea was fleeing the room before Allie would process any of it. She followed the redhead, expecting Bea to run up the stairs to the comfort of her room. Instead, Bea had gone to the front door, opening it with such force that it swung back to close as soon as she was gone. 

“Shit,” Allie cursed as she followed, coming to a stop on the front porch. She knew full well that pursuing the redhead was pointless. She was not a practiced runner and Bea obviously did some training for her job. She scanned the street and by the time she spotted the older woman, she was a block away and rounding a corner. And like, she was gone. 

Allie glanced at Bea’s car, considering taking the keys, that she most likely left behind, to follow. As she turned to enter the house again, she felt her mobile begin to buzz in her back pocket. The sudden ringing almost made her jump. Maybe it was Bea? She thought, and the hope was squashed when she caught sight of the name that flashed on the screen. Another feeling taking it place as she pressed to answer. 

Looking back to the corner where Bea disappeared around, Allie placed the mobile to her ear before speaking. “Hello Kaz.”


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 

 

5 years ago

“To us!” Kaz said with a bright smile as she lifted her glass of wine. The blonde was just as enthusiastic as she clinked her own glass against Kaz’s. 

“A year of friendship,” Allie continued as she slung an arm around the older woman’s shoulder to bring her into a hug. They both let out loud giggles before retreating to separate ends of the couch. Allie brought her feet up to tuck them beneath her while Kaz brought her knees to her chest and rested a chin on them. They fell into a comfortable silence as Allie moved her glass around, watching as the red liquid moved about. “Thank you again,” she spoke after a moment. “For letting me crash here for so long.” 

“No problem, Kiddo,” Kaz answered with a wave of her hand. “I’m just glad you’re out of that shit,” she continued then gave her a pointed state. “You just need to keep your head up and stay clean, yeah?” 

Allie’s smile faltered for a second before she managed a nod. Kaz had taken a liking to her since having found her bashed up and left for dead on the street. Allie had awoken in the hospital to find the older blonde at her bedside. That had a been a year ago. Kaz helped Allie get settled at the women’s shelter she had been volunteering at. Then, after a few short months, she invited the blonde into her home. It was a friendship that seemed to come naturally to the pair. It felt as if they were best mates for years instead of just a few handful of months. 

However, Allie still had plenty of demons that she had yet to overcome. Not even a friendship as strong as theirs could protect her from them. She wanted to say yes to Kaz and say she’ll stay clean. But as Kaz took a big swig of her own wine, Allie could only feel the pang of guilt in the pit of her stomach. And, the small bag of ice she had stuffed in her pocket suddenly felt heavier. 

 

Present day…

The quietness was unsettling to Allie as the three of them sat in the car. Bridget drove, her focus solely on the road, while Franky kept her gaze out the window in search of the redhead. Allie sat in the backseat, her hands linked together in her lap. She was trying to hold it all in, but inside she felt like screaming. She felt responsible for this. How could she be so stupid? To push Bea so far so quickly. A woman, she saw firsthand, unable to handle a bit of teasing from her best mate. Her blue eyes landed on Franky, who was giving her girlfriend directions to the next destination. 

They had checked a few bars that Bea often frequented. They stopped by Maxine’s house, promising they would keep her updated if they heard from Bea jut as Maxine promised to send word if Bea turned up. They drove by the park then the hospital. They went to several places that Franky had found Bea in the past after a rough night. Franky hadn’t elaborated on what that meant. Allie had an inkling that whatever demons haunted Bea, it affected every aspect of her life. Tonight, was just another result of those demons getting the best of her. 

Allie closed her eyes, thinking back to the very long evening. 

“Allie, I thought you were dead,” Kaz spoke, her voice frantic over the phone. “It’s been weeks. Where the fuck have you been?” 

The blonde held the mobile away from her ear for a moment, her focus still on the corner that the redhead had disappeared around. Her heart was already aching due to the redhead’s sudden absence. Not to mention her lips still tingled from their shared kisses… along with other things further below. Kaz’s question had caught her attention and she walked back into the house with the mobile back against her ear. 

“Staying with friends,” she answered, surprised that her voice was cracking. 

“What friends? I’ll come by and get you.” 

She entered the kitchen, immediately fetching a glass from the cupboard. “No, Kaz, I’m fine,” she spoke, as she filled the cup with water from the tap. “I promise.”

There was a moment of silence and Allie knew that Kaz was working the nerve to ask her that question. She took a generous gulp of water, waiting patiently.

“Are you clean?” 

Ah, there it was. Inevitable to be sure, and Allie couldn’t really blame the older woman for asking. They had been through the same conversation numerous times before. Allie set the glass down, unable to stop herself from glancing at the spot where minutes before she had been pressed up again. She closed her eyes, trying to piece together what had happened… why did Bea take off like that. Had she done something? No, that wasn’t it. Something else happened, Allie decided, thinking back to the vacant look in Bea’s dark eyes. Bea was reliving a memory. 

“Yes,” she answered with a long sigh. “I’m not using.” 

“That’s a relief to hear,” Kaz spoke and it was sincere as far as Allie could tell. 

“Look, Mama, I didn’t call to catch up,” Allie admitted, still stung by their very last interaction. That felt like a lifetime ago, she realized. The night she had met Bea. The night she had found her sister unconscious and not breathing. 

“Well, then out with it,” the older blonde responded, clearly offended by her lack of formalities. 

“I can’t do this over the phone,” she admitted. “Can we meet somewhere?”

“Did you want to do dinner tonight?”

Allie bit her lower lip. While she wanted answers, she wanted to find Bea more. It took precedent in her mind. She had to make sure the redhead was alright. “Um, no… actually I have something going on that I need to take care of. Could we meet at the end of this week? I’ll text you.”

There was a pause on the other end and Allie could already picture the look on Kaz’s face. No doubt, the older blonde was cross with her. The words that came next took Allie by surprise. “Who’s the new girl?”

“I’m sorry?”

“C’mon, Allie. I haven’t heard or seen you in weeks.”

“Yeah, I lost my mobile.”

“You stopped showing up at the shelter.”

“Yeah, because I’ve been staying with friends,” Allie reminded her. 

“And, you can’t make time for your best mate. I haven’t seen you in weeks”

Allie smiled at this, because she could hear the teasing inflection of Kaz’s words. “Jealous?” 

“C’mon then, out with it. Who is she?” 

“Kaz, it’s a really long story,” she began, hesitantly. “And, I’m kind of in a middle of a thing.”

“Ohhh,” Kaz replied knowingly, having mistaken Allie’s meaning. 

“Not that kind of thing,” she continued, unable to laugh. “Look, I promise I’ll text you.” Kaz agreed and bid her farewell to the blonde. “Oh, and Kaz” 

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” she began. “I’ve fucked up so many times since we met. You’ve stood by me. You’re my best mate and I just want you to know that.” 

There was a long moment of silence between them. When Kaz spoke, Allie could hear that her words had affected the older blonde. “Anytime, Kiddo. Talk soon, yeah?” 

“Sure thing,” she agreed before finally ending the call. She let out a deep sigh before dialing another number. 

“You better have a good reason for calling me, Novak.” Franky’s voice was clipped when she answered. It made Allie flinch, because she knew that it could only mean one thing. She interrupted something. 

“I’m sorry,” she spoke, suddenly apprehensive. Perhaps she should have called Maxine instead. Did she even have her number? She wondered. 

“Well, you bloody should be. Now what do you want?”

“It’s Bea.”

“What about Red?” There was a change in her tone and Allie could hear rustling which she imagined was Franky moving in bed. 

“She’s run off.”

There was more shuffling over the phone. “What do you mean she ran off?”

“We were… well,” she bit her lip, unsure if she should divulge so much. Bea was such a private person. “She took off on foot. Didn’t even bother with a jacket,” she added as an afterthought. 

“What were you doing?” Franky asked in a teasing tone. “And, in what position?” 

“Franky!” Bridget’s scolding voice echoed in the background, making Allie smile. 

“We weren’t doing anything like that,” she assured her. “Nothing salacious.” Unfortunately, she thought before the memory of Bea’s body pressed against hers resurfaced in her mind. 

“But you were doing something that upset Red.” 

Allie was silent for a long moment. “She… kissed me,” the blonde admitted as she traced the countertop with a finger. “After I kissed her. Then we kissed each other. There was kissing.” 

“Whoa, are you serious?” Franky asked, clearly surprised by the blonde’s revelation. “I was just joking. You two actually kissed.” 

“Are you going to help me find her or not?” Allie asked, impatiently. 

“We’ll be over in twenty.” 

That had been hours ago. It was dark now and the air became chillier. And, there was still no sign of the redhead. Allie felt her eyes begin to sting with unshed tears. She knew that she was probably overreacting. Especially given that none of this seemed to worry Franky. It didn’t sound like this was the first time Bea had taken off either. However, the stress of the situation caused another familiar pull inside Allie. She could feel the sting of a craving.

“Are you sure she didn’t say anything before she ran off?” Franky’s voice brought Allie back to herself. 

She opened her eyes and let out a deep sigh before shaking her head. “Not a thing.”

They were at the park for the third time. Bridget put the car in park and turned in the seat to look at Allie. “Don’t fret too much, Allie,” she began, her voice calm. “We’ll find her.” 

Allie glanced up, swallowing back the bile she felt at the back of her throat. Her hands began to shake, feeling the urge to use build more feverously. There was something about the way Bridget spoke that brought immediate comfort to Allie. She nodded once, grateful for the older woman’s words. Even if she didn’t quite believe them in that moment. Franky turned in her seat as well, cursing under breath. 

“Is there anything that happened that could help explain why Red would just take off?” she demanded to know. 

Complete opposites, Allie noted, glancing between the two. Under other circumstances, she would have been amused by the observation. Instead, she leaned back, bringing her hands up to her face. The craving was beginning to gnaw at the insides of her mind and it made it hard for her to concentration. When she let her hands fall, she found Franky’s impatient gaze and Bridget’s kind smile looking back at her. 

“I really wish I could,” she said with a shrug. “We, uh, weren’t exactly talking about anything.” 

Franky grinned, clearly amused by Allie’s admission. “Not exchanging words, just spit is all.” 

“Franky!” Bridget chastised, smacking the tattooed woman lightly on the arm. 

The tattooed woman raked a tongue across the top of her lip before turning serious again. “Can you think of anything?” 

Allie let her head fall back against the seat and her gaze landed on the ceiling of the car. She felt heat rise in the pit of her stomach, because the first thing she thought back to had been the feeling of Bea’s lips against her own. The sounds of their moans as Bea pushed Allie up against the counter. Her throat went dry when she thought back to how it felt when Bea’s arms encircled her. How good it felt when the redhead pulled her closer. Then, it was over. Before Allie could even process what had happened, Bea had fled. 

“Anything that isn’t X-rated?” Franky asked in amusement. 

Allie shrugged again. “She just pushed me away and ran. She looked like she’d seen a ghost.” 

There was something that flickered across Franky’s face. She gave Bridget a knowing look. It was quite the sight to see, watching the pair having a silent conversation. Without a word, Bridget started the car again and drove. Franky looked back and gave Allie a reassuring smile. 

“There’s one more place we didn’t check,” she explained. 

Of the all the places Allie could have predicted they’d check, she had to admit, a cemetery was not one of them. The fifteen-minute ride was filled with silence. When Bridget parked the car, the three of them climbed out. The gate was locked, but thankfully, was easy to climb over. As they reached the iron bars, Allie could make out a figure in the distance. A person sitting on the ground. When Franky made a move to go, Allie placed a gentle hand on her shoulder to stop her. 

“I think it’s best I go talk to her,” Franky explained. “There’s history that I have a feeling she hasn’t told you.” 

“I reckoned there was,” Allie agreed, moving towards the entrance. “All the same. Let me give it a go, yeah?”

“It’s your fault she’s out here to begin with,” Franky pointed out as Allie jumped over the small barrier. Bridget gently grabbed Franky’s arm, sending her a meaningful glance. Allie didn’t wait for any more protests, having already turned towards who she hoped was Bea. 

Bea felt juvenile for leaving Allie the way she had. She felt awful as soon as she realized she was blocks away from home. She couldn’t help it. The fight or flight response was triggered, and the choice was easy. She ran, panting heavily as she came to an abrupt stop at a street corner. She needed time to think, time to comprehend… all of it. Her feelings. Allie. She couldn’t do that while under the gaze of those dark blue eyes. 

She sat on the ground, heavily leaning on one arm as she traced the lines of the Debbie’s name with her free hand. It was the only place she felt she could go to think. She didn’t realize she had been out for hours until the sun began to set. The cold air reminded her that she made the hasty decision to leave without a jacket. 

She heard the footsteps before she saw blonde in her peripheral vision. She barely acknowledged her, her gaze strictly on Debbie’s headstone. In the corner of her eye, she watched Allie take a seat beside her in silence. 

“She was 16 when she passed away,” Bea finally said, because there was a compulsion to explain. Partly due to the fact she felt she owed Allie an explanation for leaving. But, also because when she was around Allie, she felt like she could delve into her past. To share these intimate details. The compulsion felt closer akin to desire to. “I was serving my first year of my sentence at Wentworth.” 

Allie bit her lower lip, perhaps to stop herself from saying anything as it was in her nature to comment. Instead, she moved forward, shrugging out of her jacket. Bea turned watching as the blonde wrapped it around her shoulders. She couldn’t stop the tears that had been flowing off and on that night. The simple gesture of kindness that was so foreign to her. She was paralyzed as Allie scooted closer, wrapping a gentle arm around her shoulders to pull her into a hug while her other hand sought out Bea’s. 

“I was so worried about you," Allie’s voice was small, and Bea realized that the blonde was trying to hold it to together. For her sake. They didn’t speak for a while before the inevitable question found its way to Allie’s lips. “How… how did she pass?” she asked, hesitantly.

Bea kept her gaze down and her eyes traced Debbie’s name and day of death. Something she always did when she ventured out here. “Drug overdose.” 

She felt Allie’s deep inhale rather than heard it. Then, she felt Allie’s lips against her brow. “I’m so sorry, Bea,” she said when she pulled Bea into proper hug. 

“It’s okay,” Bea answered and for once, she felt as if the words were sincere. Allie had never known Debbie. Never knew her before Debbie died. She only knew and would only ever know the broken Bea that was left behind. Then she sighed. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

Allie was already shaking her head before Bea got the words out. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re okay.” 

Bea opened her mouth only to shut it again. “I’ve want to tell you for a while now. I just couldn’t… bring myself to explain.”

Allie was quiet as her gaze moved from the redhead back to the headstone. “I don’t understand loss like this. I’d imagine it brings all sorts o-“

“No,” Bea said, letting a hand rest against Allie’s cheek and she watched as dark blue eyes widened in surprise. “It’s not just about Debbie. There’s something else… I’ve been wanting to explain.”

Allie sat back to better look at Bea, and the expectant look in the blonde’s eyes almost made Bea lose her nerve. She let her gaze fall to their conjoined hands, enjoying the feeling of having another person so close. 

“You know that my ex-husband laid into me,” she began, feeling herself become emotional again. “It’s what led to me going to Wentworth in the first place. Which in turn, let to my daughter’s over-“

“I know what you’re going to say,” Allie began tightening her grip on Bea’s shoulder. “Your daughter’s drug overdose… was not your fault. Take it from someone with firsthand experience in using.” 

Bea nodded. Bridget had said as much in their sessions during her time at Wentworth. Although, at the time the words were not received very graciously. It was still something that would take some convincing and she could sense Allie knew this. They were quiet for a long moment. 

“He didn’t just… lay into me,” Bea spoke finally, unable to look up at Allie. “He’d force me…” she paused, surprised at how much more difficult it seemed to be for her to get the words out. Finally, with a sigh she gazed back up at Allie, who looked like she was trying her hardest to keep it together. “He’d rape me.” 

Bea hadn’t expected to have to console Allie. However, she did so gladly. The blonde’s control over her own emotions had reached a limit and she fell into Bea’s arms with a loud sob. Bea leaned closer, pulling the blonde into a fierce hug, feeling her own hot tears spill over her cheeks. 

“I’m sorry,” Allie spoke, her voice cracking from the crying. “I’m meant to be helping you feel better,” she said, sitting up straight and sniffing. “And it’s quite the opposite.” 

Bea smiled, and she brushed Allie’s hair from her face to tuck it behind her ear. “It’s alright,” she assured her. 

Allie bit her lower lip then, looking conflicted before she leaned forward. She kissed Bea deeply as her hands went up to rest against her cheeks. When they parted, Allie rested her forehead against the redhead’s. “I want you to understand something. So, listen good and hard, yeah?” she began, her voice thick with emotion. “Whatever that asshole did… I’m not like that. I would never. Ever. Hurt you.” 

It went without saying, Bea knew. But, she also understood that the words needed to be said. Even if she already knew this. Allie was not Harry. The differences were striking at times. Bea could see them in every word spoken between and every moment they shared. It was in the gentle way Allie touched her. In every look Allie sent her way. As if she were blessed just to be in the redhead’s presence. In that moment, Bea realized, as much as Allie needed to say it, Bea needed to hear it. She smiled as Allie wiped away her tears with a thumb. Bea pulled Allie back into a fierce hug, hoping that it told the blonde everything she wanted to say but couldn’t because the words failed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually hadn't meant to end this where it ended. I hope this chapter didn't seem too choppy.  
> I've been feeling slightly more energetic in writing so I'm hoping I can get back into this story. I was lucky enough to meet Jenko and Dan a couple weeks ago in London. It was amazing. They were super nice and it was quite the experience. :) I will say that it helped get me back into the Ballie bubble. I just hope I can stay in it. LOL


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for yet another delay. I had written this chapter out of order. Trying to connect the scenes took some time and I wasn't really happen with each attempt. I also have been distracted as I've been working on an original story.

Chapter 20 

They sat together for a long while. Their tears had long dried out. Allie leaned her head against Bea’s shoulder and Bea found herself wrapping an arm around the blonde without much thought. It was odd, Bea decided, how naturally it felt to be this close to Allie. She had always been so careful with distance between herself and other people. Always keeping them at arm’s length. But with Allie, she felt herself unable to stop from closing that distance. She didn’t want to keep the blonde at arm’s length, she wanted her close beside her. Always within reach. 

She felt a weight suddenly lift. The burden of grief suddenly didn’t seem so heavy to carry. She glanced at the blonde, unable to see her face from her angle. It was true, she realized. Allie brought out a new side to her that she thought had died alongside Debbie. Her eyes moved back to the headstone, her mind thinking back to those first days after finding out Debbie had passed away, she remembered how hard it had been to carry on. How at times, it seemed easier to just give up. 

“You’re so strong, Bea,” Allie whispered, bringing Bea from her thoughts. 

“I don’t necessarily see it that way,” the redhead answered, wondering where Allie’s thoughts had been to lead her to such a conclusion. 

Allie sat up to look at Bea, her dark blue eyes studying the redhead. “You are,” she insisted, then grew somber. “I wish I had your strength,” she admitted with a humorless chuckle. 

“What do you mean?” Bea asked in confusion. “You’re strong in your own way. Surviving on the streets. Overcoming an addiction. Those are things that I don’t think I’d be able to take on. Especially on my own,” Bea pointed out. She watched intently as Allie’s expression changed to something akin to shame. 

“Didn’t feel that way tonight,” Allie commented, unable to look Bea in the eye suddenly. “I felt it tonight. Really felt it.”

“Felt what?” 

“A craving,” she answered, her voice filled with shame. “On the way over here, there was a moment where I really wished I could have a taste. Just a small taste.”

Bea reached out, taking both of Allie’s hands with her own. “But you didn’t.”

“But, I wanted to, Bea,” Allie’s voice became stern. 

“Allie,” Bea began, letting go of one of her hands to touch her cheek. “How long has it been since your last hit?”

“Around the time we first met,” she answered with a shrug. 

Bea nodded, thinking back at how she had noticed Allie’s drug use almost immediately. “I’d have to say, for someone who’s been an addict for years, you’ve done well,” she observed, watching Allie carefully. 

She didn’t reply, instead, looked back over to Debbie’s headstone. Bea wondered what thoughts were running through the blonde’s head. She turned back as well, her eyes tracing Debbie’s name and birthday for the hundredth time that night. It was still surreal to think about, she decided. Even after all the time that had passed since that awful day. When she was given the news. She remembered how hard it hurt to fall to her knees and how badly they bruised later. That pain was nothing compared to the pain in her heart. 

Allie said nothing more and Bea made a mental note to keep a closer eye on the blonde. They had sat side by side for a while. Allie was silent as Bea stared at the headstone. The redhead was lost in her own thought. So much so, that when Allie had spoken, it gave her a start. When she glanced over Allie gave her a small reassuring smile. She looked tired, she realized. And, the stress of the afternoon had obviously taken a toll on her. 

“As much as I’m enjoying this,” Allie began, “It’s getting rather cold. And… Bridget and Franky are waiting for us by the car.” 

“You all came looking for me?” 

“Of course, we did,” she answered, then gave as sheepish shrug before adding, “I called up Franky as soon as you took off.” 

Bea nodded slowly, unable to stop the shame from creeping up once more. Perhaps, it was a habit she couldn’t quite shake yet from her time with Harry. When everything always felt like her fault and she carried everything on her shoulders. 

Allie must have sensed her hesitation and stood and offered a hand out to Bea. “I’m always here for you, Bea,” she promised with a warm smile. Bea looked to Allie’s hand and back to her warm blue eyes. She felt her heart skip a beat and her breath caught in her throat when she placed her own hand into the blonde’s. “You’re not alone.” 

 

They said nothing on their way back to the house. Franky, for once, didn’t have much to say when the pair returned to the car. She occasionally glanced back at them from the front seat, unable to hide a smile when she found Bea leaning against Allie’s shoulder. Their hands were intertwined in Allie’s lap. It was quite the difference from only a month ago, Franky decided, thankful that her friend had finally found someone to lean on. She exchanged a small smile with her girlfriend, who had also kept a careful eye on the pair in the rearview mirror. 

Bea felt a veil of comfort as soon as she rested her head against Allie’s shoulder. The blonde had immediately wrapped an arm around her and ran a hand up and down her arm. The gesture said so much. I’m here for you. I’m not going anywhere. I care about you. All of it so new to Bea, but not unwelcomed. 

“I sent a message to Maxine,” Franky announced as she turned her phone off and exhaled. “She’s been out of her fucking mind since we called her.” 

It made Bea feel emotional. To know that Allie had went searching for her immediately. And, even more so to know that her friends had joined the search party. Even Bridget, who seemed to find a spot amongst their small group. 

“Bea, we’re home,” Allie’s soft voice spoke in her ear, waking her from the light sleep she had fallen into. 

“You don’t need us to stay, right?” Franky asked then yelped in pain when Bridget smacked her arm. 

“Of course, we’re staying,” Bridget said and sent a stern look to her girlfriend, who had obviously wanted to get back to whatever it was they were doing before Allie’s call. 

Allie chuckled, and Bea could feel the vibrations under her head. “No, you guys can go on.”

“I promise I won’t disappear again,” Bea promised, then yawned. Not that it seemed Allie would let her. The way she was hovering, Bea reckoned the blonde was frightened that she’d take off at any minute. 

They bid their farewells then Allie and Bea walked up the steps. 

“I’m sorry again for doing that,” Bea said when she closed the door. 

“Enough apologies,” Allie insisted as she removed the jacket from Bea’s shoulders to hang up. “Now, did you want some hot cocoa? Tea, perhaps?” 

The redhead shook her head. “I’m absolutely shattered,” she admitted. “But, we do need to talk.” 

Allie rubbed both her hands along Bea’s upper arms. “Go on,” she said, motioning to the stairs. “Get some rest. There’s plenty of time to talk later.” 

Bea said nothing, merely nodded before dragging herself up each step. Allie watched her go, before she turned to lock up. What a day, she thought to herself as she walked through the house to turn off forgotten lights and pull the drapes closed. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the revelation regarding Bea. Although, in the back of her mind, she couldn’t help but think that it explained an awful lot about the mysterious redhead. 

She smiled when she found Bea a while later. The redhead hadn’t bothered to change. Instead, it looked like she had fallen onto the bed and grabbing a pillow from the head of the bed. 

Allie didn’t think it looked comfortable at all. She walked further into the room, trying her best not to stare as she helped the older woman out of her jeans. Then, pulled up the blankets as Bea settled in. She leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on Bea’s brow. When she opened her mouth to say something, she hesitated, realizing what words almost surfaced. 

“Bea,” she whispered. “Good night.”

“Allie?” Bea’s voice stopped the blonde as she opened the door. She turned, watching as two dark brown eyes looked back at her. “Emily is lucky to have a sister like you.” 

 

Sleep came almost instantly when Allie’s head hit the pillow. Her dreams were filled of images of Bea, as well as her sister she knew got to know, the women who had bashed her, Kaz, and of Franky. When she awoke the next morning, she laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. The pieces of her dream fresh in her mind. She felt far from refreshed. Rubbing her eyes, she wandered out into the hallway, noticing the Bea’s door was still closed. Deciding to let the older woman rest, she headed downstairs. 

She didn’t have the energy to make a breakfast, deciding instead on toast. It was almost like she was on autopilot as she put two slices of bread into the toaster and started on a pot of coffee. Her mind was still preoccupied on the events of the prior day. Of Bea. Of how it felt to kiss the older woman. Even more, of how it felt to be kissed by her. It caused a shudder to run through her and she closed her eyes to regain some composure. The sound of the toaster releasing the bread gave her a start. 

Then, there was the emotional revelation Bea shared with her in front of her daughter’s headstone. 

She sighed as she took her cup of coffee and plate of toast to the kitchen bench. When she settled on her stool, she began to eat, although finding it difficult. She was too anxious. 

Having spent so much time at a women’s shelter, Allie had heard plenty of stories. Women, who were beaten by their husbands or boyfriends. They fled their homes and their lives, to start a new life. The shelter was only a pit stop along the way. She felt slightly ignorant for not recognizing that Bea could have been a survivor of domestic abuse. In hindsight, they were hard to miss.

It made sense now, she supposed. Why Franky had been so overprotective of Bea. Why she seemed so concern over Allie’s intentions. Her phone dinged, bringing her from her thoughts. She glanced at the screen, noticing that she had received a message from Franky. 

Speak of the devil, she thought to herself as she read the message. 

**Franky: Hope the pair of you kept the noise down last night.**

**Allie: Fuck off. Nothing like that happened.**

**Franky: Could you blame me for thinking that? The pair of you looked pretty cozy in the backseat.**

Franky had included a wink face that immediately made Allie chuckle. The tattooed woman truly had a one-track mind. Before she could send a reply, another message came through. 

**Franky: Did she tell you then? Everything?**

Allie wondered what everything meant to Franky. Everything about just about Debbie? She supposed a conversation about Debbie couldn’t omit Harry. 

**Allie: She told me enough. Debbie mostly.**

**Franky: And… anything else?**

She could tell that the tattooed woman wouldn’t drop it without having some sort of confirmation. She suspected Franky already knew the answer, too. It also struck her how Franky wouldn’t come right out and ask. By doing so, she risked betraying Bea’s trust. Parts of Bea’s past wasn’t disclosed to just anyone. 

**Allie: I know about Harry.**

“Good morning,” Bea said, timidly, bringing Allie’s attention away from her mobile. 

The blonde turned watching as Bea walked around the kitchen bench to pour herself a cup of coffee. It felt different between them, Allie decided. There was a shift in their friendship… relationship? She knew that they had crossed a line that can’t be uncrossed. By the look that Bea was sending her way, she knew that the redhead also recognized this. 

“Good morning,” Allie returned with a bright smile. “Did you get enough sleep?” 

Bea pulled the stool out to take a seat across from the blonde. “I did. Not well, but I did sleep. Thank you,” she told her with a faint smile. “I’m so sorry about last night.”

Allie shook her head. “Enough apologies,” she reminded her.

“I can’t believe you all dropped everything to look for me,” Bea commented as she let her gaze fall to her coffee. 

Allie reached out, letting her hand land on Bea’s arm. “Of course, we did. You’re our friend,” she reminded her. “We all care about you. I reckon, even Bridget has taken a liking to you.” 

Bea smiled lightly at this before sighing. “About last night,” she spoke finally. An awkward silence fell between them. Allie watched as Bea’s eyes remained on her coffee, too timid to look at her directly. 

“We can forget it all,” Allie offered, hesitantly. She was internally scolding herself for such an offer. There was no way she could ever forget it. None of it. There was a door opened between them that probably couldn’t be closed. But as she studied Bea’s demeanor, she recognized that perhaps, the redhead was not yet ready for that step. And, Allie would never push the redhead into something she wasn’t completely comfortable with. Especially after learning about Bea’s past. She swallowed hard as the possibility that Bea would never be ready for that step crossed her mind. “The kissing. All of it. We can go back to how it was before yesterday.” 

“Just friends?” 

The way she asked the question gave Allie pause. She tilted her head in interest, watching as Bea brought the cup up to drink, hiding her face slightly. “What you told me last night… about…. Harry,” Allie began, treading lightly because of fear of Bea running again was still there. 

“I know you’re not him,” Bea explained, setting the cup down, while avoiding Allie’s curious stare. “This is all new to me. I’ve never enjoyed…” she trailed off, the blush on her cheeks effectively communicating to Allie what she was going to say next. 

“We don’t have to do anything that you aren’t comfortable with,” Allie assured her, watching intently as Bea shifted in her seat. She was nervous. Unsure. “For the record,” she began, hoping she wasn’t about to cross a line. “For someone who’s never enjoyed it, you’re very good at it.” 

She laughed, watching the blush deepen on the redhead’s face. 

“I may run again,” Bea reminded her, watching as Allie’s fingers began to slowly creep across the table top. 

“You can run,” Allie said, taking Bea’s hand into her own. “But, I’ll follow. You can be sure of that.”

Bea looked unsure, her eyes watching as their fingers intertwined. “This,” she paused, motioning with a hand at the space between them. “It scares me.” Allie nodded once. Bea paused again, seemingly trying to decide on something. Then, timidly she continued. “I, uh, enjoyed it.” 

She didn’t need to elaborate on what ‘it’ meant. By the way that Bea’s cheeks reddened, Allie knew. An image of them standing together the day prior, arms around each other, heads titled, and their lips locked together had immediately flashed into her mind. Allie’s lip curled up slightly. 

“I know,” she stated, simply, letting her hand tighten around Bea’s for a moment. “I know you did.” Bea took a generous sip of her coffee in an attempt to hide her smile ad deepening blush. It didn’t go unnoticed by Allie, who could only grin. “Now, tell me about Debbie,” Allie requested, watching as Bea’s face fell slightly. She hoped that the request wasn’t unwelcome, and she had been about to take it back when Bea spoke. 

“What do you want to know?” she asked, curiously and almost hesitantly. Allie knew this was a topic that Bea often didn’t speak of. Probably not even to Maxine or Franky. Allie could see Bea’s body straighten, and she ducked her head, letting her long curls hide her face. She released her hold on Bea’s hand to reach up and tuck her hair back behind her ear. The motion made Bea stiffen momentarily, an action that did not go unnoticed by Allie. It brought a pang of sadness to her, but she bit it back and smiled, gently when those dark eyes finally met her own. 

“Everything,” she said, honestly, with a slight shrug. “Anything you want to tell me. I want to know it all, Bea.” And she meant it. She had never felt like this before for another woman. The need to know her, not just physically, but on every level imaginable. While it excited her, it also terrified her. 

Bea nodded, unable to speak for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. “She was a wonderful human being,” she answered. “Smart. Stubborn as hell,” she explained, and Allie could hear the fondness in her voice. She watched as Bea looked back down at her coffee with a sad smile. “And, she was kind.”

“Sounds like someone else I know,” Allie commented, watching in delight as it seemed to lift Bea’s spirits slightly. 

“She had a hard time when I was incarcerated. Then I found out that her father had begun hitting her,” she explained, solemnly. “She claimed it was only a few times, but I have a hard time believing it. Harry was arrested after a rough one that sent her to hospital. He was charged with attempted murder.”

Allie’s jaw tightened, but she remained silent, letting Bea talk. 

“Debbie had gotten caught up in drugs,” Bea continued before exhaling loudly. She raised her eyebrows and looked away. “To deal with my arrest and her father’s abuse, I reckon. I don’t know the details. Only what the police had told me.” Bea paused, and Allie knew her dark eyes looked past Allie, as if looking into the past and watching that moment in her life replay. She had been about to assure the redhead there was no need to continue right now when Bea continued. “She had overdosed on H just after Harry’s conviction. It’s a tossup,” she said with a grave smile. “It could have been accidental… but they also couldn’t rule out the possibility that it was suicide.” 

“Oh Bea,” Allie began, her eyes beginning to sting with unshed tears. She had reached her limit and was compelled to convey her support. She reached across the table and placed a gentle hand on Bea’s arm. The redhead looked down, then back at her with a small smile. “That’s just… awful. I can’t…” she trailed off, overcome with the grief she felt for Bea’s loss. 

“It was my fault, really,” she insisted with a shrug. The movement made Allie retract her hand. “Had I not lost my temper. Had I not taken that bat to Harry. I would never have been at Wentworth to begin with. Maybe she never would have gotten on the gear. I could have taken Debbie out of there. We could have gone to a women’s shelter.” 

“Where you could have met me,” Allie mused, but there was no humor in her voice. Bea had been dealt a terrible hand in life, Allie couldn’t deny it. Bea smile at her comment, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Allie could see the redhead was lost in her memories. “Where’s he now?” 

“Barnhurst, last I heard,” Bea answered. “Probably for the next decade at least.” 

Allie nodded once and let the silence fill. It gave her time to think over their conversation. But, it also allowed Bea sometime to herself. Allie could tell that reliving the past had taken a toll on her. There was no doubt that Bea needed time to compose herself, Allie decided as she pushed her plate of toast aside. Her eyes trained on the texture of the bread as she felt herself get lost in her thoughts. Allie had figured there was something terrible in Bea’s past. Aside from her time in prison that is. She had never imagined something so tragic. 

When she felt Bea’s gently cover her own, she couldn’t quite contain the small gasp of surprise. Their fingers intertwined, and Allie couldn’t help but smile affectionately. There was a lot of hand holding it seemed in the past few days. Allie looked back to Bea, noticing the mixture of hesitation and fear in her eyes. 

“You aren’t put off me, are you?” Bea asked, meekly. 

The question startled Allie, who’s eyes widen for a moment before immediately shaking her head. “Of course not,” she assured her. “What makes you think I would?” 

“It’s a lot,” Bea answered with a shrug. 

“It is,” Allie agreed. “Are you put off me?” When she watched the confusion on Bea’s face, she clarified. “I mean, my drug addiction isn’t exactly gone, ya know? Especially after last night.” Bea nodded slowly, unable to really formulate a response. 

“I’m sorry,” Bea replied, sadly. 

“Don’t be,” Allie told her. “It was my fault that I got hooked. It’s my responsibility to stay clean.” 

It was a statement she never uttered before to anyone. Not even to Kaz. In the past, Allie probably would have chosen her words differently. She’d have made assurances that she could handle the gear. That nothing bad would happen. It wasn’t really that she thought herself invincible. It was more like she didn’t care what happened to her. Now as she sat across from the woman she was quickly falling for, she cared. She cared a lot. 

“You’re so strong, Bea,” Allie said, repeating her words from the night before. “I hope one day, you can see it just as I do.” 

Bea smiled gratefully and for once, accepted the praise. “Reckon, we all have demons we have to face,” she commented, her voice still somber. Allie couldn’t argue with that. She smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. “What now?” Bea asked after a long moment of silence. 

“Well,” Allie began, eyeing her cold toast with a grimace. “I fancy a proper brekkie.” 

“That’s not what I mean,” Bea replied, hesitantly and Allie could see her cheeks begin to redden. “What happens next? With… us?” She asked, motioning the space between them with a hand. 

Allie considered the question for a moment. Part of her wanted to teasingly flirt with the older woman, however she recognized that now was probably not the time. She smiled before answering, “Now, we enjoy.”


End file.
